This Is Hell
by Lost1n7heDark
Summary: Sequel to Feeling Faithless. Rated for language amongst other themes. Complete.
1. Chapter 1

**Here is the prologue to the sequel to 'Feeling Faithless'. **

**It's like a sneak preview. Review if you want it to keep going on...**

* * *

There was something wrong in the way she died.

Nobody else noticed; their hearts were grieving. Hers, too, was full of remorse and pain. But she saw past what the friends saw, what the Watchers saw, what her lover saw, and what **the** lover saw.

There was something wrong in the way that she'd died.

And she planned to find out what.


	2. Chapter 2

**So apparently people want me to keep this up. And therefore, I shall. But only if you promise to review and stuff like that. **

**Oh, and you get to find out who 'she' is. Aren't you excited? You should be. **

**I hope you're able to differentiate between the mystery 'she' and the Buffy 'she'. Eh, you're all smart.  
**

**Review!**

* * *

Day #: 1081.

She'd seen enough.

She'd seen the red eyes, the blotchy tears, the endless nights and days. And she understood. For all 547 days, she understood the false smiles, the dead in the eyes, the vengeful act of Slaying, and the professional yet unenthused act of teaching. She could understand that. She'd seen all this, and felt the same feeling every day, as did the others, but only time can heal those wounds, and even theirs had hardly begun to close up. They didn't expect her to be all smiles anytime soon. Because they knew.

64 days. That's all it took. Then the tears were gone and it was all smiles. Fake, bitter smiles. A shiny, plastic new mask that everyone smashed onto their faces, now that their commander was back 'in business'. She worked them like dogs, and pushed herself even harder, trying to destroy the evil that had taken from her **her** source of light. Of beauty. Of love. But they understood.

On the 365th day, each of them threw their masks off, not caring what the other thought, because they all held in their hearts the pain of the other. They were not ashamed of their tears. The lover fared the worst; her mask was still on. Always on. Until the moment they, as the group as they were, turned to walk, she broke. Her heart had been pounding at the plastic and finally it fell apart as it was meant to. Falling to her knees she cried, clawing at the grass, at the dirt beneath it, at the stone that was the only evidence left of the heroic death of a simple girl.

Simple, with complexities that could fry Einstein's knowledgeable mind.

But on that day, they'd seen pain. They'd felt more pain than they could know. It was real, it was raw, it was

* * *

_"R...r...ed..."_

* * *

Again, the General had closed up, but it was alright, because so had they. No questions. No answers. But at least there was none of the bullshit that might've been there when they were younger.

But then it was day 547. The day of the false love. Or the night. Clubbing, dancing, drinking, laughing, fighting, forgetting, looking, cheating, wishing, hoping, daring, risking, and fucking. Perhaps the wrong person. They despised it, and secretly, so did she. Secretly being the key word.

Someone had once said,

"You know you're not a pick-up if I stay with you tonight."

**She** did not push him out. So he stayed. To all of them, he stayed too long. 534 days too long. He'd overstayed his welcome. She giggled a little too much, and the make-up was a tad gaudy. Her clothes had gone from impractical to utterly ridiculous, and the nights were no longer sober and quiet. They let it pass for the while, and excuses were made every night. Every meeting that she wasn't attending because she was "busy".

"A phase. It's just a phase. The Buffster wouldn't...she couldn't..."

"Yea? It's more like a **fucking** rebound."

"Honestly, Xander. You give her too much credit."

"Perhaps we should speak with her?"

"My idiot sister would be too drunk to understand our breakup line."

"Ding-dong..."

"...the witch..."

"...is..."

"DEAD!"

Willow had seen enough.

It was time.


	3. Chapter 3

**My thanks to you readers, who keep this alive. I know the 'she' thing was a bit much. But to make it simple, the first 'she' was all Willow. Until I started using 'they'. Then the 'she' was Buffy.**

**And of course at the end you find out that Willow was the one who had seen more. Sorry for all the confusion, hopefully you get it now.**

**Anyways, here you go. Enjoy and review.**

* * *

Unknown POV

_"...worthless piece of shit..."_

Sometimes, I cry.

_"...I like them sane..."_

Sometimes, I boil.

_"...always a killer..."_

Sometimes, I regret.

_"...we wanted to forget you..."_

Sometimes, I hate.

_"Scream, Faithy. Scream."_

Most of the time, I scream.

* * *

Narrative

Decomposition of the mind.

It is not a simple task, but Hell and all it's components are not simple things. They were created for this purpose only, and are more than efficient. They had a good crop of newcomers, but the there was only one that was spoken of in whispers around the fiery dens and the icy caves, the one who had surpassed any of their past individually-confined victims, the one who was still going, still had a sense of sanity within the surrounding insanity, still held onto love...

Love. They shuddered at the thought, and it surprised them all.

She was known for her cruelty. Her psychotic qualities that demons feared. Her relationship with evil and all of it glorious darkness. The underworld half rooted for her, and half rooted for her death. And now she was here, with them, and the one thing that was saving her was love. Unsurprisingly, all of them pitied her. They'd seen many people in love. They'd seen enough who have stuck out for a good long time due to it. But love only brings with it betrayal, and only time would tell.

There were rare cases where the living lovers remained loyal. And so the torture was turned to other things. But most of the time, those lovers were quick to find another. Some took a while, other didn't. It hardly mattered; victims were often broken by the end of the first human month. Because here, that totaled centuries on centuries.

Solitary confinement. That's where they'd thrown her. The room of voices. The room of hallucinations. The room of suppressed memories. The typical mindfuck. Add the physical torture. Demons who wanted payback. Or fighting-types who constantly needed to cause pain. Vampires who have always wanted a taste of a Slayer. A Slayer punching bag. A Slayer target. A Slayer in solitary confinement.

A Slayer who couldn't die.

* * *

_...gu...g...gi..._

"What's my name, Faith? Who am I?"

_...remember don't know..._

"Oh come now. You must know who I am."

_...think come now know?_

"Harder, my dear. Remember harder."

_...harder living remember who..._

"Shall I give her a hint?"

_...who else who else who else..._

"Rupert, you silly, insignificant little girl. Don't you remember what you used to call me?"

_...Rupert Rupert Rupert..._

"I say. This is a rather pointless task. She's still hanging on but this worthless girl can't remember a thing!"

_Giles._

"My turn."

_...one eye one cyclops monster..._

"Hey Faith, remember me? I sure remember you."

_...hey hey remember..._

"Lost my virginity to you, do you know now?"

_...lost what virgin?_

"Manly man with a girly squeak? Come on, you psycho freak."

_...xylophone x-ray..._

"Okay you're right, Giles. She's totally bonkers. And remains a fucking whore."

_Xander._

"Bored now."

_...fire..._

"When I said I was sorry we didn't tell you about the Slayer line being destroyed, I-I wasn't."

_...sorry destroy..._

"You-you're nothing. You're just a big selfish, worthless waste."

_Willow._

* * *

_**"That's mine."**_

* * *

"You're about to get it back."

_Buffy._

* * *

Her loud cries echoed throughout the hellish halls, every demon and its victims shuddering at the sounds of sharp and blunt against weakened flesh. It was far from over.


	4. Chapter 4

**So it seems that the some reviews were less favorable than preferred, but I suppose you gotta take the good with the bad. But I'd like to say a little something.**

**DD - If you're going to flame, you may want to learn to how to spell before you do so. And try some constructive criticism, instead of just telling me that I failed at being "cool". I doubt I was particularly going for your type of "cool" anyway. And didn't you flame my other fic? What in the world made you want to come over here just to flame the sequel? Honestly, do you have nothing better to do than to flame fics you don't even like?  
**

**guy - Although your review wasn't particularly kind, it was better than the above. At least you gave me a plausible reason. But I'll take my chances and just...not quit writing.  
**

**Unless that's what the rest of the reviewers want?**

**Lemme know, cause I can 'quit while I'm ahead'. Really. **

**Okay so I'm just being bitter, I'm too stubborn to stop now. **

**Anyways, this is just an extended part of the hell...thing. Next chapter will start hopping...shit. I guess. Feeling a bit irked now, don't get me started.  
**

* * *

The voices in her head.

They were killing her slowly, and all her senses seemed to disappear when they were there. The stench of her own excrement didn't do anything to break her anymore; it had become a part of her. The fact that she couldn't see a damn thing unless the visions were there had hurt her, but now it was miniscule. But the voices. And the vicious torture that her body experienced every second of her living death.

She'd welcomed pain before. When she was alive. She almost craved it with everything in her body. It was all she'd known. Pain, pain, and more pain. She believed that it was something she needed. A fuel to keep her alive. A fuel to keep her body moving. It was necessary to survive. Anything. Any pain on the outside would mean peace on the inside. She pushed all the buttons that she could in order to get other people to hurt her physically, in hopes that she could erase all the internal fury. It never occurred to her that pushing the buttons meant pain outside and in. That no matter what, the part of her that burned so much would never disappear, because they would keep piling on and on and on.

"This is what you wanted, Faith. You always wanted to be hurt like this. Get rid of all that internal pain, right?"

There were no chains. They had no need for them. The room was enough. If you could call it that.

It was made so that she could never get out, and could never respond violently against her tormentor. She had to bear the beatings, the hallucinations, the smell, the mindfucks, all of it. Because that was her punishment. Once a victim was broken, they were thrown into the pit; the only existing place that nobody knew anything of. Because nobody had ever come out. There were no texts, no stories, no myths. Nothing. That was the end of everything.

Kind of like the voices in her head.

* * *

_"What is this? Did you drink some of this? Did you?" An empty bottle shook in the air._

_"No, Mom! I didn't, I swear!" Lies pour out._

_"You're a fucking liar! You filthy little thief! You're just a fucking waste of my time!" A pair of hands is laid upon the weaker body._

_"Stop it, you're hurting me!"_

_"Good! Hurt, you little whore! Hurt!"_

_"Please! Mom..."_

_"I am __**not**__ your mother! I didn't __**ask**__ for this! I am __**not**__ your mother!"_

_"You're my mother! Whether you want it or not, you're my fucking mother!"_

_"Why would anybody ever want you? __**Nobody**__ wants you! You're nothing! __**Nothing**__!"_

* * *

She felt like nothing.

She supposed she was just nothing.

Nothing.


	5. Chapter 5

**You all sure know how to flatter me. Really, it's an honor to write for such a fantastic audience. **

**Just so we're clear, there's a time lapse since the last chapter to now. And this is a much longer chapter than the others. Be happy.**

**Enjoy and review!**

* * *

"So you're trying to tell me that you think you could bring Buffy's ex-lover back to life?"

"Yes."

His eyes narrowed and his lips formed into a sneer at her response.

"I don't think that's a good idea."

_And I don't think I like you._

"She made Buffy happier than you've ever made her and ever will make her. As her best friend, I think it's the best idea I've had since bringing Anya back."

"Listen, Wills-"

She stiffened at the nickname. Anybody else and it would've been fine. But not him.

"I really don't see how that would make her happy. I mean, I've heard the stories about her fucking you guys over. It just wouldn't be smart to bring her back. Especially now that Buffy and I are together."

"That's one of the reasons I want to bring her back."

"Is that a threat?"

"Yes."

"Well she wouldn't give me up to some dyke bitch."

She slapped him. Hard. It took all her power not to completely annihilate him.

"**Don't**. Talk about Faith that way."

"The truth is the truth."

Her eyes flashed.

"If you know what's good for you, you'll watch your mouth." She turned to walk away.

"Hey! Hey, Willow. Come on, girl, don't do this to me. I love Buffy!"

_Really? I never would've guessed, you asshole._

She didn't answer.

"Willow." He pulled her around by the arm.

"I asked her to marry me. We're gonna have a family together."

"Keep dreaming."

"You wouldn't do this to me, would you? I know all about you and your conscience. Miss Reliable? Come on. Buffy loves me, too, and I know I make her happier than any of you."

She bristled and she could feel her powers bubbling in her gut. As if by some sort of instinct, or maybe it was some sort of understanding of her power, someone else was there, standing next to her with their fingers immediately reaching for hers.

_Kennedy..._

Her insides felt warm and at ease.

"Kenny, please talk some sense into your girl."

Kennedy looked at her beautiful Wiccan girlfriend.

"What's going on?"

"She wants to bring that Faith girl back. Tell her it's a bad idea."

She didn't even register the last part into her head. Instead, her eyes widened and her voice went up a notch.

"You think you can bring her back?"

_No, I don't think. I __**know**__. _

"If I can get the spell right. It was hard enough bringing Anya back, but I think I could do it."

"No! You can't bring her back."

Kennedy shot him a death glare.

"I think all of us would love to disagree. Buffy was bound to drop your pathetic ass anyway."

"I asked her already." Willow knew what he was talking about.

"Asked her what?" Kennedy asked.

"To marry me. She said yes."

_No, she fucking did not._

As if Kennedy had heard her thoughts, she retorted.

"No, she fucking did not."

"Buffy said yes. She was bound to say yes." He said, as if to reassure them.

"Say yes to what?"

They all turned. There she was. Slayer extraordinare, best friend, competitive rival, and...girlfriend.

"To a celebratory dinner tonight, for our engagement."

Willow almost killed him. Almost. But she knew Buffy, she wasn't going to say yes. Not tonight. Nobody had said anything about it in months, but nobody had forgotten what tomorrow was, and the others were all sure to be packing last minute. Their flight was supposed to be leaving tonight.

_Wait. Why doesn't James know that? _

Surely Buffy had told him about their departure...

"Of course. I would love to go. Where are we going?" Buffy missed the slack-jawed Willow and Kennedy as she received a wet kiss from her current beau of almost two years.

"I was thinking Maggiano's. Italian is...perfect for conversation, don't you think, Wills?"

* * *

Willow's POV

I'm gonna kill him.

None of the niceties I'd usually throw in for Buffy's significant others. Nope. I'm gonna make sure he feels everything I do to him. I'm gonna kill him.

"Uh...Willow?"

WHAT?

"Yes?"

"Are you okay? You look a little pale."

No, Buffy. I'm not okay. Because as I am pale, **you** are supposed to be frantically packing.

"I just...thought maybe you'd use tonight for packing."

"Packing? For what?"

Oh my Goddess. She doesn't know. She doesn't remember. She's joking, right? Ha ha, Buffy, you really got me. You really are a laugh, honestly...

Her face is expressing much more confusion that I want it to.

She really doesn't remember.

"We have a flight tonight. To L.A., remember?" Kennedy's voice cuts in.

"L.A.? Why-"

Dawn, Xander and Anya come bustling in with suitcases. Oh no. Oh no oh no...

"Hey Will, Ken, Buffy...James."

I would've laughed at his obvious disdain for the other male in the room, but I'm still in shock.

"Hey. Uh...is there a reason for the suitcases?"

Anya gives her a really strange look. But then again, most of Anya's looks are pretty strange. Then her eyes look frantic as she quickly slaps Xander on the arm repeatedly.

"Aren't we going to L.A.? Was I wrong? I thought you said the flight was tonight!"

"Ow! An, we- ow! Damn! Anya!"

She stops. He rubs his arm with a grimace.

"Yes, we **are** leaving tonight for L.A. I thought we agreed on this last year." We catch each other's eyes for a moment, and I guess he read the story in mine, cause his eyes quickly shifts towards Buffy.

"We did?"

Now I want to kill Buffy.

Don't get me wrong, she's my best friend, and Goddess knows I love her, but I thought she'd be the first one to be done packing. First one to be ready to go, first one to rush us out, first one into the plane...

I'm trying to think of a nice way to tell her how much I would like to kill her, but Dawn interrupts me and my open mouth.

"God. Are you dense? I **know** you didn't forget about tomorrow. Now come on, go get your suitcase."

Oh. Well we are all in for a rude awakening. Undoubtedly.

Buffy pulled her arm out of Dawn's grasp. I'm waiting for the bomb to drop.

"No, Dawn, I am not dense. **What** is tomorrow, and why are we going to L.A.? Did Angel plan some kind of reunion?"

Well what do you know, there it is. Boom, kablooie, pow...

"Some reunion." I hear James mutter. Did I already say I was going to kill him?

But I guess that's the least of our worries. Because Buffy forgot. She forgot. She doesn't even seem to care. It's all about James. It's been all about James ever since they met. It's disgusting, and I didn't want to be even associated with the bastard. None of us did, but we let her have her fun. It wasn't like they were gonna get married, right?

Well fuck all ducks, it looks like it's bound to happen.

I really hope he was just pushing my buttons. Because if she said yes, she would've told me. Right? Right.

...right?

"Buffy-" I blurt out.

"-didyoureallysayyeswhenheaskedyoutomarryhim?"

I couldn't get it out faster. I'm scared shitless. Really, I am. Willow Rosenburg here, reporting for Scared Shitless duty. Could it get any worse than this? I'm sure it could, there's always that possibility that she assures my fears, but I know that can't be it, because I know Buffy and she's not stupid. Sure, she's not the brightest crayon in the box, but she's much, **much** more intelligent than, oh I don't know, Xander? And besides-

Oh wait. Did she just call my name?

Oh. She did.

Is she...

Yes. She is.

Buffy's nodding. With a smile.

And now I'm just shitless. Yes, I'm pretty sure I shit my pants.

* * *

Narrative

"You WHAT?!" Dawn's shriek reached an octave reserved for calling dogs.

"I said yes." Buffy's voice held a tinge of annoyance. What was going on with these people she called her friends? Why were they acting like she agreed to rob a bank?

"Oh this is just too good." Everyone turned to face Kennedy, who was full of spite.

"You know, I told her once that you weren't half as good a person as she was. I also remember telling her that she was too fucking good for you. And wow. I guess I was right." Her voice was full of pent up rage, and hurt, and guilt as she stepped menacingly closer and closer to the one original Slayer.

"Every night she's in my dreams, and every dream, before I wake up, she tells me to make sure that Buffy's well. Make sure Buffy's safe, make sure she's eating right, make sure she's treated well, make sure she's having fun, make sure she's not lonely, make sure-" She choked on a sob that threatened to come forth.

"Make sure she's happy."

Willow rushed to hold the other girl tightly, wanting to hide the tears that the young Slayer was so ashamed of.

"You really forgot, didn't you." It wasn't a question. It was a statement, and it brought Anya to the floor.

"I don't suppose it occurred to you that while you are so easy to 'let go' of the past, we aren't. And **we**, with or without you, are leaving for L.A., where we will be greeted by a grieving Angel, for tomorrow is the day we go to that one cemetery and pay our respects to the girls who lost their lives fighting on our side. But more importantly, it's where we'd planned to go every year because we wanted to remember and grieve for the one person who gave up everything to protect us at our weakest moments. All of us, and mostly you. And if you can't even remember that, I don't see a reason why we should bother bringing you with us."

The angry ex-demoness couldn't bother with crossed arms. She couldn't even think about anything other than her grief. She doubted any of them could. Did it matter that Faith had been evil? No. She was once a demon. Willow had almost destroyed the world, and Angel and Spike were bloodsucking vampires. So who cares about the evil? Faith had changed. Proved herself to Anya long before any of the others had bothered to accept her. The girl was honest, blunt, her entitled 'best friend' and Anya always appreciated it. But she was gone. Years ago. And they always remembered. And here Buffy was, without a care in the world, speaking of marriage to some slimy asshole of a human.

Sometimes she wished she still had her powers.


	6. Chapter 6

**No, no, Buffy's not under any spell. James is just a normal human male, which totally makes him a jackass, as we can see here. JK. **

**And I know, it's completely not fair to Faith, but as Faith lost Buffy, she gained the rest of the Scoobs, if you couldn't tell already. Gotta take the good with the bad, right? Right. **

**Now enjoy and review. Seriously.**

* * *

Willow's POV

I'm praying to all the gods and goddesses in the world that **one** thing doesn't happen.

Just one thing.

Oh look at Buffy's face. It looks like she's going to vomit. But I feel it worse than any of them do.

Please don't hear. Please don't. Please please please...

Nobody knows. Not even Kennedy. I was going to surprise them today. **We** were going to surprise them today.

It's a slow process, restoration. I almost couldn't do it, it was so hard. I had a breakdown everyday, and had to lie and say that I was having an exceptionally emotional period. To see what I had seen was like signing yourself up to watch someone beating on the body of a child. But going past just looking and to assisting was just devastating. Even now I'm worried that there'll be problems. But we would all be there. That's what I thought.

It was all about anticipation. I had explained everything. The school, the program. About the Scooby Gang. About who lived in the house, and the new building next door. The new Slayers, the training. About Buffy and James.

It was all understood, all digested with maturity and calm.

Three years.

I saw it. I saw the pain. One year and a half, and Buffy had a new man. I recall trying to tell Buffy it was too soon, but she said he was the one. She's said that one too many times. And I know which time was the time she really meant it. And that was three years ago.

"So what? Tomorrow's the dyke's deathday. It doesn't matter, because we're getting married." James' churlish attitude brings me back.

"Don't call her that." She says in a soft voice.

As if that'll make me feel less angry? Any of us? Nope. Still angry. Check.

"Baby, she's dead. What does it matter anymore? It doesn't. Because she's not here, is she? You're not engaged to her, you never were."

"That's it, I'm gonna kill him."

Ack. Kennedy! I'm holding onto her, but I know it's not enough. She'll break through my grasp easily. Oh and there it goes. I'll be honest enough to admit that I didn't hold particularly tight. Go Kennedy!

But of course, Buffy blocks her from attacking and-

Hey! No hitting of my girlfriend!

"Thanks for correcting my mistake, Buffy. Of course I should be hurting you, instead."

I help her up, but hold on a little tighter. Can't have a Slayer faceoff in the middle of the night with innocent bystanders along the way. No matter how much **this** innocent bystander would love for Kennedy to win.

"Don't assume things you don't even know about, Kennedy."

"Fuck you. I know enough to hate you more."

Anya's observing them thoughtfully.

"You know, honey, if I slipped Kennedy, oh I don't know, a stake or a knife of some sort, would it be cheating?"

"Actually An, I think it would probably be all in good context."

Buffy looks exasperated.

"Guys, you can't be serious."

"I think we're all pretty serious, Buffy." Uh oh. Dawn's looking very...unhappy.

"Will?"

Oh don't look at me. I don't have all the answers all the time, as smart as I am.

"M-me? W-well I think that we shouldn't be doing the fighting thing in here, because I mean, it's just not...It's...oh..."

My eyes were drifting, and now they've settled on someone at the top of the stairs.

No...oh Goddess no...

"Just leave it be, Red."

Faith...

* * *

Buffy's POV

My heart stops, and so does time.

All I can see is her. Her eyes, her hair, her figure, her walk, her lips...

_Faith..._

When she steps out into the light, I feel my heart being crushed. She's so thin, I can almost see her bones. There are subtle wounds that sprinkle her body, and I know it hurts her to walk. There are well-hidden scars across her face, and I'm sure everywhere else under her clothes, and they look more painful than anything I could imagine.

Everyone's staring, gaping, shocked. Except for Willow, who looks more like she's been caught red-handed.

"Faith?" Dawn never could stay quiet long. Her words squeak out of her mouth.

"The one and only."

Pause.

Then Anya pokes her. Hard.

"Ow!"

"Well, we've established that she's touchable. So it's not some hallucination we're all having."

"Or a ghost." Xander says.

"Or the First." Anya follows up glibly.

"It's just plain old me, guys. Sorry to disappoint."

"Well how do we know?" Dawn asks suspiciously

"Beats me." Faith - or whatever she is - shrugs.

"It's Faith. I...I found a way to bring her back." Willow suddenly says softly. We all glance at her for a moment, then back at Faith.

"Faith!" Dawn squeals.

"Hey there, Squirt." She opens her arms and Dawn jumps into them. I wish it was me. Now she's stroking her hair softly, and I still wish it was me. After they're done hugging, she smiles at the rest of them, but avoids my eyes.

"Xander. Anya." She nods at them with a grin. Anya throws Xander aside and squeezes her tightly.

"Oof. An, sorry, but I'm still not done with the recovering..." Anya let go quickly.

"You're hurt! What happened? Who attacked you?"

I'm wondering the same thing.

"I'm fine. Just a little sore. Being dead does that." She holds out her hand to shake Xander's, but he pulls her into a hug as well, not quite as enthusiastically as Anya, but warm and caring.

"We missed you."

"You guys are all I thought about." She says in affirmation. Then continues.

"Red told me you got the eye back and lost the patch, but I can't believe how good you look without it."

"I know, I know. The ladies find it hard to resist me." He smiles.

"What about you? Last time-" His voice cracks a little.

"Your eyes weren't working at all."

"Funny thing about dying, you get back what you lost, in the most twisted ways possible."

"Twisted...?" He waits for more detail. She just shakes a her head a little.

"Not now. Maybe later, when I figure this shit out myself." She says softly. And I wait, holding my breath. Her gaze slightly turns towards us, then passes over us to Kennedy.

"Ken."

"Faith."

For the second time in most of our lifetimes, we see Kennedy really cry. She breaks down with a sob, and Faith is immediately there, holding her gently, murmuring soothingly into her ear. That should've been me.

It should be me.

Finally she faces us. I can't think of anything to say. What **can **I say? She heard everything, and now she knows everything. I have royally fucked up.

"Hey...Buffy." She says quietly with a smile. Then she gives me the once over. Typical Faith.

"You look good."

I can't think of anything to say in response.

"Just so we're clear, Buffy and I are getting married." James growls. Faith cocks an eyebrow.

"Yea, I think we covered that 5 minutes ago."

Pause.

"So you're the dyke." He mutters. I give him a look. Kennedy thrashes again, but Willow holds her still.

Faith laughs at his face and turns to me with that smirk. You know. The one that drives me mad. She's still got it all, behind that weak body. Behind the physical pain.

"Charming, B. He's sure a looker."

I hear Anya snort.

"So how is he in bed, B? All three inches good enough for you?"

Now Anya's laughing. And my face is burning red.

"Go to hell, bitch." He spits.

"Been there, done that."

"Then go jump off a roof." I feel a pang in my heart. Why did he have to go and say that?

"Same answer, asshole."

"Fuck you."

"I'm sure your fiancee would love to."

"She'd miss my dick too much."

"It's alright, I never said I'd want to get in her pants anyways."

"You did before."

"Things change."

"She just likes me better."

"I'm sure thinking it helps boost your ego."

"So you agree?"

"What right would I have to disagree?"

"I don't know, but you can't have her. She's mine."

"Really? I don't see your name on her."

"And I'm hers."

"Nobody else wants you anyway."

"We love each other, and you're not going to get in our way."

"Of course not."

He turns to me in triumph.

"I put the bitch in her place, didn't I, baby?"

I'm about to reply when I hear her continuing.

"No, you didn't, you piss-poor excuse of a man. You couldn't have put me in my place, because obviously, my place isn't here."

She calmly pushes past all of us and slams the door behind her. She's gone.

And all I can do is close my eyes and let the tears fall.


	7. Chapter 7

**Lots of reviews! I love it. I love you. **

**Okay, so the reason I'm updating pretty much every day is because school's out, I stay up ridiculously late (I update at times between 11pm-2am), and because I usually have about a quarter of a fic written before I even post it. So no, I don't write a new chapter to upload, I just copy and paste from the story I've already got written. **

**I'm just letting you guys know, so that you don't think I'm a complete freak who just writes about BtVS all the time, haha. Because I'm not...**

**Ah, who am I kidding. I love Buffy. Well, no. I love Faith. My bad. I love Faith. And sometimes Buffy, but that's rather minimal. Lack of love, you see. **

**Oh! You get Faith's POV for the first time, yay! And you should be excited for the next chapter. I personally think it's a good one, so I'm excited to post it. Soon. I like to give you guys at least a day to ponder, wonder, and chew on the chapter before you go barging into the next one. I should probably wait two days, but it's not like I have much better to do at 1am in the morning. **

**Enough of this stupid rambling. Going on. Enjoy and review. Seriously. Or else I'll just update later. Cause the reviews make me update faster, too, and this fic brings me lots of lovely reviews from lovely people. I honestly love all of your reviews. It brings me much joy and happiness. **

**KEEP THE WRITER HAPPY.**

* * *

Faith's POV

Three years for them. An eternity for me.

Hundreds of thousands of years. Rotting in my shit, wasting away into nothing. Centuries spent, thinking of her. Dreaming of her. Wishing for her. Wanting her so badly that it kept me going.

The darkness in my dreams when the 'Master' (who wasn't the Master at all) had stabbed me through was nothing compared to where I was after death. It was Hell, and that's all it'll ever be. I didn't realize how insignificant the word seemed in this world. Hell this, hell that, go to hell, fucking hell, cold as hell, hot as hell...

None of them will ever understand the real meaning of Hell.

I kind of linger in front of the door for a few moments, listening to the yelling and the shouting that's being done on my behalf.

Then I start walking.

_Crack!_

I almost laugh. I remember that sound. Distinctly. The beautiful sound of a manly nose breaking under Kennedy's swift palm strike up the bridge. Too bad Willow will have it healed in seconds.

"What the fuck? Kennedy!" Buffy's angry voice. Well fuck her.

I hear the door open and I hear the stepping of boots. My old boots. I gave them to Ken years ago. She runs after me, and catches up. After all, I'm not rushing anywhere. To anything, or anyone. Not anymore.

**Fuck love.**

I tried it once, and it put me in a coma. I tried it twice, and it put me through hell with no insurance. Too bad it's not a contract. Those work better for me. Life would be much easier if someone had asked me to be a Slayer. Or if someone had asked me if I wanted the parents I had, the life that I had, the friends I didn't have.

But over all that, I would've really fucking liked it if there was a contract that said 'Once you get out of Hell, your girlfriend **will** be waiting for you' in fine print. At least a 5 year warranty or something.

Is that so much to ask?

Apparently so.

We walk in silence for a while.

Right next to the house is a large building. The school. Slayer Shack Primero. Primiere. Primere. Whichever works best for you, it's just a nickname, anyway. I don't even know what the fuck its actual name is. I don't think I care. It's grandiose, full of fluorescent lighting and hundreds of training equipment as well as just plain Slaying equipment. Plus the classroom projectors and pointers and all the tiny little detailed shit that the Scooby Gang can think of. The Council's fucking loaded.

Yea, I'm thinking about stealing. I'm sure they won't miss some stuff, what with all the money they've got. I'll run away to the ends of the world and bring all the shit with me. I'll be set for life.

"It's been hard without you. If that puts things into perspective." First words she says.

"Sure it does."

I don't want perspective. I want Buffy.

See? At least I'm honest with myself.

"She's a bitch."

"Wasn't she always?"

I'm still being honest. So there, Buffy Summers, take that.

"But it'll be alright? You'll be alright?"

"Sure. Anything's better than Hell."

No it's not. **This** isn't. I bore through Hell with the knowledge that Buffy loved me. And here I am, back out of Hell, feeling like I just walked into another one and wishing I could go back to when I knew she loved me. When I **thought** she loved me.

But whatever. I can deal. I stopped crying four centuries ago. I'm pretty sure my tear ducts are defective. At least my tongue isn't. I thought I would never be able to talk properly again. When Willow brought me forth, I was so far gone I couldn't talk. I mumbled random words and fuck, who could blame me? I couldn't. Because nothing in my body was working. I couldn't walk, I couldn't move. I couldn't even control my bladder or my bowels. I was reduced to less than an animal. Humiliating, but who fucking cares? I was suffering. Breathing in my waste didn't bother me as much as the pain did. That was there all the time. Just pain, pain, and more pain. The darkness battered at me mentally, faces of people I loved, people I hated. People who betrayed me, and people who I betrayed. There was always Buffy's face at the end. Telling me how worthless I was, how useless I am, how she didn't love me and never would. How I would never match up to anybody else she was with.

I had to force myself to remember that Buffy loved me. That she really truly loved me. Isn't it great that I had to come back to this? Back to this world that's **fucked** me over time and time again, never consistent and always just full of endless mocking and hurting. Where I had nobody and nobody had me. That changed, and now it's back to the way it was. Fuck this. Fuck everything and everyone, cause I don't give a shit anymo-

"God...Faith...!"

I break out of my mental ramble, as Kennedy collapses.

"I've been trying to...get you to...god...that hurts..." She passes out and I know why.

My emotions have been haywire since my return. In Hell I'd lost all control, like I said, even over my emotions. Normally, emotions only affect the person who's having them. Mine attack the people around me. Red had a mental breakdown while I was sleeping. My dreams are pretty fucked up, too. She's been helping a lot, but sometimes I go a little crazy. Things in my head just aren't right. They never were and now they never will be.

I pick her up bodily and turn back the way we came from.

* * *

"Oh, Kennedy!"

"She's not hurt, Red. It was another emotion-breakdown thing."

She looks at me with concern.

"Was it bad?"

"Intense."

"Oh I'm so sorry, Faith!"

"No, I'm sorry. I should've...kept it under control. Still working on it."

In a few minutes Kennedy's back up, rubbing her head and groaning like she's got the worst migraine in her life. Think about how I feel.

"Wow...that was...fucked up."

"Sorry, Ken."

"Don't be...it kind of shows me where you've been." She pauses for a moment and looks at me with the same concern that Willow had.

"It was bad, wasn't it? What I felt...wasn't even a fourth of it. I know it." She looks so upset, I kneel down on the floor next to the couch she's on and hold her hand.

"Hey...it's alright." I can't think of anything else to say, so sue me.

"It hurt so much, and it wasn't even me, I was just standing next to you..."

Don't get hysterical on me, Ken. Not now.

And she doesn't. She never lets me down. One of the only people in the world who've never let me down.

I didn't realize how much I missed the girl until now.


	8. Chapter 8

**Whooop! Here's the chapter we've been waiting for.**

**It's nice and long. However shall you thank me? By reviewing, of course! I expect a bunch. **

**Enjoy and review. (Have you noticed that I say this almost every time?)**

* * *

When she's feeling better we head towards the school. They want to give me a feel of it, and plus, why not greet good old Giles?

He almost had a heart attack. **That's** why not.

"Good heavens! Faith, is that really you?" Hand on his heart. How classic.

"In the flesh, G-man."

He breaks into a very large smile. Aw. I guess he missed me after all.

"As much as I spent on those tickets to L.A., it really is diminished by the sight of seeing you alive and...healing well, I can only presume."

"Thanks Giles. It's good to be back."

What a fucking lie. But I can't let the man down. He even gave me a hug and offered me a cup of tea.

We see the rest of the gang hanging around the lobby, as well as a couple of the newbie Slayers. I recognize some of them.

And I get _**mauled**_.

"FAITH!"

Well shit. These munchikins really do love me. Ha.

There's crying, and hugging, and more crying, and awkward patting...not that the hugs weren't awkward. Not big on hugs, but it's been years, so who cares? I don't.

It's a lot more dramatic than I'm making it sound, but you know I don't get caught up on silly little details about whose tears and snot ends up on my shoulders. Cause I think just about everyone's facial fluids ended up on Willow's jacket. Thank God. I would've killed them all if I got shit on **my** jacket. Or any of my stuff. Which, by the way, are apparently still somewhere in storage. Sweet, right?

Anyway, so there's introductions to all the rest of them. You know, all fucking hundreds of them. They've all heard the stories, and I can see the awe in their inexperienced little eyeballs. Great. Hero worship? That's always ended well.

But Kennedy told me that most of them aren't so fond of Buffy, and especially not her pompous, self-righteous dick of a fiance.

I didn't say it. She did. I just nodded.

"Everyone's gonna love you. Buffy still hardly knows them by name." Of course she doesn't. She never will if she can help it. I make it a point to know people's names, unless it's some "take-out". But that's been over for a while, yea?

I'm hearing all these little snitchets of conversations, and my head is starting to hurt. Until I hear his voice.

"I'm telling you, that stupid bitch is trouble. I heard what she did to Kenny."

"It wasn't her fault." Buffy.

"It doesn't matter, she's dangerous. You told me yourself that she's unstable. I don't trust her, especially since she was your dykey lover."

I whirl around with an agility that I've never known and my hand grabs him by the neck and slams him against the wall. Several feet above ground. It's a power that I know I didn't even have as a Slayer, and I have a feeling it's got a lot to do with Hell. But I don't care. And I certainly don't care that this is a fucking human I'm using it against. I told Connor once that I am a murderer, and I still believe it. I have no doubt in my mind that if it ever came down to it, I'd kill again. I start to speak, and my voice is nothing less than loud and demonic. I'm gonna humiliate this fucker in front of all these little girlies. Plus, I'm really fucking sick of his obsession with the "dyke" word.

"You know, I've humored enough of you and your shit already, and I hate repeating myself. It's not on my agenda to fuck things up between you and Buffy. If she wants to be with you, that's her fucking choice, and frankly, I don't fucking care. If you want to put this into perspective, James, any of these people come before you **and** Buffy. So if you really love her, you'll watch your fucking mouth else I'll beat the shit out of both of you. I've had about enough of your bullshit. "

He makes as if to say something but my hand only tightens and I slam him against the wall again. I hope none of these people think I'm joking, cause I sure as hell am not.

"If you want to take my sincerity out on a test drive, Jimmy-boy, go ahead and say something."

There's a quiet gurgle in his throat. I continue on.

"I know you don't want me here, and fuck, I wouldn't have it any other way. I'll be up and gone out of your skin soon enough, but if you even think about looking, much less talking to me, I'll crush your head through the wall."

The entirety of me is screaming for me to throw him across the room, but I don't. I just drop him.

"What? You're gonna leave?" Oh no. Dawn.

"Yea. Loving the place, love the people, not so much digging the tension. I'll give Angel a call and see if I can get to L.A. sometime this week."

"But Faith-"

Nope. The pout isn't gonna work.

"No buts, Squirt. I'll write and call."

"Really, Faith, I'm sure we can accommodate your needs here. We would love for you to stay."

Okay. So his fatherly thing might work, but I doubt it. Give it a month. But whoops, I don't have a month.

"Sorry G-man. You guys are doing a great job here, and I think it's awesome, but you don't need me here."

"You can't leave now! Not after seeing everybody, and everybody wants you here because you're you, and you were dead and weren't here, but now here you are, and alive and not dead so I think the best course of action is to stay here, with us, and be merry and we'll continue forth in the festivities that normally wouldn't be here, but now that you are here we can go forth and-"

"Red, breathe."

"...breathing, check!"

She's a sweetheart, she really is.

"Listen, it's just...I don't know." Oh yes, I do. I know why, and so does everyone else. But nobody's gonna say it.

"Let's go with her." What? Oh. Anya.

"An, honey, we can't just-"

"Why not?"

"Because we're needed here."

"No. **You're** needed here."

"So are you, you're a teacher, remember?"

"Easily replaced."

"Well I'm not, An."

She thought about it for a moment, then perkily reaches over for my arm after dropping Xander's. I'm sure my eyebrows shot up. Yep. They did.

"Okay then. You stay, I'll go with Faith."

This girl is a fucking hoot. I love it.

"Anya, please restrain from making this situation more difficult than it is. You are needed to teach here and that's that." Poor Giles and his cleaning of the glasses.

"I don't want to stay here. I'm sick of teaching and we never get a vacation!"

"Oh I'm sorry, I guess we'll call evil and ask them to lay off. Give me a fucking break, Anya!"

Don't talk to my best friend that way, B. I'll fucking beat you down.

"Well excuse me, Miss Superiority. I didn't ask you, and you're one of the main reasons we want to leave anyways." Sigh. That was bound to be said.

"What, for saving your ex-demon behind so many times?" That started it.

The loud, bickering between everybody. I mean **EVERYBODY**. Except me. But I never count myself in 'everybody'.

"Hey! Why doesn't everybody just **chill the fuck out**?" I yell. Loudly.

And hey, what do you know? They shut up.

"I'm leaving, that's final. I'm gonna go give Angel a call now."

I'm going. Walking, far far away from this place. Away from the bickering, away from the blinding lights, away from the people, away from Buff-

"Good riddance."

I freeze.

I turn slowly, with possibly the most frightening smile on my lips. I step casually towards him, and like a mouse in the eyes of a snake, he doesn't move. He can't. I gave him a warning, and now it's time for punishment.

"Faith, stop." Buffy steps in front of me. And I laugh. I can't help it.

"You think you can stop me, B? You think just by your holy fucking presence, it'll stop me from what I'm bound to do? Well it doesn't mean shit now, does it? You standing in the way doesn't make a difference anymore. I can go right through you."

"You have no right to harm him."

"Where were you when I gave him warning, B?"

"You'll have to fight me."

Hahaha! I can almost feel fireballs exploding in my hands or something. I'm itching to knock her out, but I keep it under control.

You know. Something new that I'm trying.

"Fight you, Buffy? Now why would I do that?"

"Scared much, Faith?"

Mm. Not really, why do you ask?

"Figure I could manage to knock you off your pedestal with only words, B."

This throws her off, but hell, she can snap back up. Oh yes, there she is.

"Then let's go."

"Your challenge, you start."

"Fine."

I just stand there, watching her. If she thinks that was a good start, she can think again.

Verbal fighting is what I do, verbal fighting is what I do best.

"We always knew I could beat you in a fist fight."

Um. Okay.

"I'm sure we did."

"Think you could take me now?"

"Who knows?"

"Chicken."

"Whore."

That's right, bitch. I went there. She looks pretty angry. Good.

"Look who's talking."

"Last person I **fucked** was you, B."

Yea, I went there again.

"Wasn't all that good."

Oh ho. Getting dirty, huh?

"Sorry, I guess I couldn't hear the complaints behind the screams."

"I'm sure you were hallucinating."

"And **I'm** sure you can't hallucinate sound. Now I know why someone else had to help you with the planning."

"You're the one who leads people into traps."

You little bitch.

I want to snap her self-righteous little head off. Who the fuck does she think she is, bringing that up?

As if I'm the only one who leads people right into death.

"Too bad I'm the one they like better."

"Wasn't aware that it was a popularity contest."

"It's not, B. It's a personality contest. Apparently, you lost and you're still losing."

"You haven't been here to know."

Is **she** pissed off because** I** was dead?

"Sorry, I've been dead for the last three earthly years."

"Pity you can't go back."

"Thinking about it."

Her brows lift up in surprise. So does everybody else's.

So what? I thought about it. Still am.

Rather be there than here. Anywhere would probably be better than here.

"What, thinking about killing yourself again or rushing into death **pretending** to be a hero?"

"Way the healing's going, I think I'll go whether I like it or not."

"Pulling the pity-poor-me routine, Faith? Typical."

"Learned from the best self-pitying Slayer there is, B."

Oh look, deep frowning. Looks like I hit a soft spot. Yay.

"I **never** pitied myself."

"Of course not, you still do."

Burn.

"I guess you didn't learn anything else."

Well actually...

"But I did, B. Lots of things."

Here we go.

"Oh really? Like what?"

**Hook.**

"Learned about love, B."

Her eyes widen with panic. But her voice doesn't sound it.

"Seems like it didn't stick."

**Line.**

"No, it didn't. Because you see, B, I was told that love in itself is a beautiful thing. Something that keeps you going when everything else is lost. I was told love is unconditional."

Silence.

"But see, that was what I was **told**. I didn't really believe it until I felt it. And I did. I acted it on it twice. The first time, I ended up in a coma. Second time, I tried it a little different, and I ended up in hell. Either way, it **ended** badly on my part, but damn if the one I loved had it pretty good afterwards each fucking time."

Silence.

"I let it all 'stick' for one **hell** of a long time. But then I realized something, B."

All this time, I was nearing her. Closer and closer still. Now I'm so close our lips could touch in ease.

"Love isn't unconditional at all. It's the most conditional of all emotions in life. And I guess I really am kind of idealistic, cause it took me an eternity in hell and a trip back to Earth to see how conditional it is."

Pause.

"Or maybe, B, maybe it isn't. Let's just say love really **is** unconditional." I pause again, waiting for what I know is coming.

"It is." She whispers hoarsely. I can feel her breath on my lips.

_**Sinker.**_

"Your love isn't."

I turn and walk away.


	9. Chapter 9

**Aw. Two things. One: apparently my fics were a recommended read on and two: I got such lovely reviews. Such wonderous reviews. It makes a writer happy. Really. **

**So. Here's um...this chapter? Enjoy and review. **

* * *

Narrative

Everybody stood stock still, almost afraid to even breathe.

Then they jumped as soon as they heard the door slam.

"And again, Faith's cruel yet deserved wit has rendered Miss Golden Girl speechless." Kennedy's words slithered from her mouth like a snake.

"Why, we ask? Because everything she managed to say with her seemingly undeveloped yet concise words was abso-fucking-lutely true." She started walking towards the direction Faith was headed in - out the back door of the school lobby.

But before she reached the door, she turned and faced Buffy with a sarcastic smile.

"And you used to tell Faith that **she** left the worst mess?" Shaking her head, she stepped out the door.

"Well that was interesting." James stated calmly.

"Nobody gives a shit about your input." Xander spoke through grit teeth, fists clenched. Anya agreed in her head, but did the best 'girlfriend thing' and patted his back softly.

"Look, I'm not here to cause trouble-"

"Then why don't you just stop talking?"

Everyone glanced at Xander, slightly surprised at his obvious anger and disdain. They were more surprised when James did as he was told and shut his mouth. But they snapped out of it as they rushed off the Slayers in Training to their dorms, shooing and shushing them while doing so. The questions started off rather simple and of basic knowledge, and Willow always had a heart for teaching.

Yes, Faith will be fine, she always is. No, I don't know what's going to happen to them.

Yes, things are very complicated. No, Buffy probably won't back out of her engagement.

Yes, Faith is single. No, I will **not** ask for you!

Et-cetera, et-cetera.

Basically it was just a bunch of girls asking about another girl's business. Typical, right? Right.

Eventually the Slayer School administration managed to get back downstairs and gather. Apparently Kennedy and Faith were still outside, so they just stood there, feeling a bit awkward. They murmured, they discussed tomorrow's school events, amongst other things that they didn't particularly care about at the moment. To leave everything so blank was rather dangerous for everyone, especially people of their powers and abilities. Willow was left to cheer a brooding Dawn, Anya and Xander were left softly quarreling about something or the other, Giles to busily plan in his leather planner, James to stand there like an idiot...

And it left Buffy to her thoughts.

* * *

Buffy POV

I can't help but think of all the times I've watched her walk away. Always knowing exactly what to say before leaving me to feel like shit. It's so damn frustrating, because I never know what to say after that. She leaves me utterly speechless, and what's worse is that she has it down pat.

"You know, babe, I could've handled that on my own." He sounds slightly offended. I sigh.

"Sure, what with the manly show of choke and tell." Xander rebuts angrily.

"I recall that we had to tell you that 'manly' wasn't your thing, either, Xander." I feel the obligation to defend my beau, as much as I'd like to hit him right now.

"At least I have the balls to admit it."

"And he's not an asshole, like James is."

"An, honey-"

"What?! That was hardly inappropriate. The truth is the truth."

"I know. I was gonna thank you."

Anya beams.

"Oh good! I can say more, you know. Like, Buffy, although your choice of wardrobe wasn't all that magnificent before, it was much more appealing than looking like a slut. Oh and you're really not on top of your game lately; the vampires have been kicking your ass around more often than they were before. Not to mention the fact that we can hear you two having sex from **anywhere** in the house. I can't seem to get **any** sleep at all! I mean, God, must you be so insensitive to our-"

"Anya, please. Might the rest of us keep the privilege of holding our food down?"

"Well I won't apologize for it, Giles." She huffs.

"I thought it was pretty accurate. Go on, Anya." Dawn walks closer, eyes flashing angrily.

"Dawn-"

"Why not, Buffy? Nobody else will bother to tell you the truth. All of them trying to spare you from what we're all thinking. Now that it's out in the open, you're too chicken to listen? I bet I could keep on talking-"

"Dawn-"

"-and it wouldn't even register into your head. You always think the pressure's all on you and you only, when everybody-"

"Dawn."

"-has to deal with it **and** your bullshit at the same time. Well here's some more pressure for you. What the **fuck**-"

"Dawn!"

"-is your problem?! I'm so fucking sick of your shit and we are all tired of your jackass of a boyfriend and his inability to be civil and I-mmgfth!"

"Hey Squirt. Let's keep the angry at a down low. Don't wanna wake the newbies." Faith held onto Dawn's mouth as her ranting was muffled behind it. Kennedy stepped around from behind her.

* * *

Once Dawn's tirade ends, we all shuffle around nervously. It's late and we're all tired.

"Angel's coming tomorrow, Faith." Willow says suddenly. Faith's eyebrows shoot up in surprise, but she just nods.

"I guess I'm staying for a bit longer, then."

Dawn makes a slight squealing noise and flashes Faith a 100 watt smile. One I haven't seen flashed towards my way in a while. I can't say I blame her.

"Ah yes, well. I suppose we should all get some sleep, then. Faith, if you wouldn't mind acting as a guest instructor tomorrow?" Giles asks politely.

"No problem, G-man. Point me where you want me."

"We'll gather the assembly and you...I, er...well..."

I know what's coming, so I do him a favor.

"We'll be pit together in a sparring match for the girls to watch and learn from." I finish for him. She hardly looks at me but nods again.

"Sounds like a plan."

"Wonderful! Tomorrow, then." He looks ecstatic. Understandably. Watching us spar is like Christmas come early for any Watcher, whether they've seen it before or not.

She steps to turn away, but Xander grabs hold of her arm. Lightly.

"Hey, um, I'm really not sure this is such a good idea-"

"Are you crazy? Of course it's not!" We all stare at Anya, who looks extremely...unhappy.

"Anya-"

"Giles! Have you absolutely lost your tweedy English mind?! Have you even seen **these**?!" She pulls the jacket off before Faith can react, and as much as I want to close my eyes, I just can't stop looking.

Deep gashes, some that look as though they're slowly, painstakingly, healing, and others that refused to heal. They're red and angry, snaking up her arms like outer veins, and I notice more crawling up from her neckline. They must be all over her body. Everywhere. Bruises. Hand prints, foot prints, leaving trails on her skin like it's a maze. I know I mentioned the few on her face, but in comparison, her face has been left alone for the most part. She's been horribly beaten, cruelly wounded and it's enough to make** me** sick, and God knows I've seen a lot of crazy things. A lot of horrifying, mind-numbing things. But this...It's bad. Very bad.

I vaguely wonder why they haven't healed yet. Then I realize I don't even know how she got here, or even for how long she's been here.

"Oh...dear..." Giles' face falls in guilt. Faith quickly grabs for her jacket, but hisses in surprise when one of her wounds reopens and violently spurts blood.

"Fuck." She places her other hand over it, as if it will keep the blood from gushing forth.

Kennedy rushes quickly to her side, and Xander dashes for the first-aid kit. It's passed along to reach her, but even the gauze isn't working. Soon, there's no more gauze left, and Faith's looking deathly pale. Or, paler than she was before.

"Red, I think I'm gonna hurl."

Willow hurries out of the room in search of a paper bag, while Anya returns with some more gauze and equipment for stitching.

"Looks like you're not leaving again anytime soon." Kennedy breathes out in relief at the sight of the needle and stitching thread. Faith laughs weakly.

"Ah, you know how the Powers love to fuck with my life, Ken. I wouldn't be surprised if I had a fatal heart attack the second my arm gets stitched up." She laughs again at the somber looks on our faces.

"Lighten up, guys."

We can't.

"So, who's doing the job?" She subtly falls into a slump; she's having a harder time maintaining control over her body. She's lost too much blood, and she's lost enough weight as it is.

"Red? X-man? Who's it gonna be?" She asks again, small smile gracing her features and a hint of desperation in her voice.

"Tables, cabinets, dangerous, ancient and cursed shindigs? Yes. Wounded and also dangerous Slayer? Not so much."

"I pro-probably sh-shouldn't..." Willow's holding the bag out, hand shaking, and we all glance at her in surprise. Her stutter is back. But then again, she **is** nervous.

Faith shakes her head incredulously, before turning to Giles.

"Giles?"

He jumps to attention.

"Ah yes, of course." He pulls at the thread and needle, and, hands **not** shaking, he grabs hold of her bleeding arm.

"Willow, the bowl if I may."

Willow thrusts a bowl full of water and a clean rag. He begins to stitch her up, flesh to flesh, the sight seemingly more intense than we expected.

I lean in to touch her shoulder. She doesn't even look at me.

"B, I'd really appreciate it if you didn't touch me."

I pull my hand back.

"Thanks."

I turn away, tears burning my eyes, because I don't know what to do. I'm angry at her, at myself, at everyone. This isn't their faults, but damnit, it isn't mine, either. Right?

Right.


	10. Chapter 10

**Too tired for pre-chapter commentary. Although I know you love it. **

**Enjoy and review.**

* * *

Narrative

"Finished." Giles wiped his forehead with the backside of his arm.

Faith, after having swallowed down her body's consistent urges to throw up, smiled a little before testing her arm out. It had weakened her considerably, but it wasn't anything new. Not to Faith, and not anymore. She was definitely used to the feeling.

"Should be healed enough for sparring tomorrow, Giles. No worries." She lied through her teeth, knowing that they wouldn't believe a word she was saying. She tried anyway, for the sake of being Faith.

"Absolutely not, Faith. From what Willow has told me, you've been here for two weeks and these...these **abrasions** haven't healed in the least bit. I'm dreadfully sorry for not taking notice beforehand."

How could he have known? She wore the jacket like a second skin, and the bruises on her face were so light, everybody thought she'd just been summoned the night before, maybe even in the morning. Even Willow trusted that Faith's healing had kicked in, denying what was obvious to her and ignoring the fact that those 'light' bruises were still **there**.

"I said no worries, G-man. I can spar." She already despised the fact that they'd seen her arms in such a condition. She definitely didn't want their pity, too.

"Faith. Please." Willow stepped towards her, blinking away that little something in her eyes.

"Red, I can do thi-"

"I **saw** you. I **saw** your body, the cuts, the bruises, everything. You've hidden them from me, and you said they were healing and that they were gone. From what I've seen, they're still the way they were as when I brought you back." The Wiccan feared for the other girl's health. For her life.

"They're fine." Faith grit her teeth. She hated to be exposed and vulnerable. That was one feeling she could never get used to.

"Let her spar. Better dead than alive." James interjected. His jealousy and humiliation overwhelmed him. And something inside of him feared her.

"That might be the only intelligent thing I've heard you say, asshat." She smirked.

"I'll...**We'll** take it easy." Buffy said assuringly to Giles.

"No, you won't."

"Faith-" They all start.

"I should spar, I can spar, and I _**will**_ spar. Good **night**!" She briskly left, this time heading out the front doors towards the house.

"Where did you keep her all this time anyways?" Kennedy asked her girlfriend, wondering how none of them had noticed Faith at all.

"She stayed in our room for the few days you were all gone on that trip. Then she said she'd sleep in the basement until we surprised you guys. But she's been asking about that empty room at the end of the upstairs hall; she wanted to take that room after the finding out."

"Well, yea. I mean it's pretty much empty anyway." Dawn said in agreement.

Empty? Sort of. Buffy felt her knees weaken. Willow knew. She moved to follow Faith and paused by Buffy, leaning closer to her ear.

"I'll get her."

Buffy nodded slightly.

* * *

Faith's POV

I'm pissed off. But I think everybody can tell already.

"Fucking...fine...don't need...fucking...go easy? Hell no...stupid...bitch...fucking...can spar..." I'm muttering little nothings to myself out of frustration, and if I wasn't so mad, I'd find it pretty funny.

I'm like a torpedo on warpath; I zoom straight in for the house, slamming doors and stomping around with some boots that Willow found that look and feel exactly like the pair I had when I was still alive. Not that I'm not alive now, just - oh you know what I mean. My hands fly up in anger and I'm pacing the hallway upstairs like a crazy person.

I don't need this kind of bullshit on my head right now.

Isn't it enough that I see my body every day, wondering when it'll go away? So that maybe I can just forget that all of it happened? So that I can pretend it all away and go on without waking up in the middle of the night, feeling the same pain over and over again all over?

And now it's not just the physical pain that hits me like a bomb anymore. We've got Miss Buffy Summers, love of my former life (and even now, though I hate to admit it), who's living her life as though I never existed, and engaged to some fucking asshole who doesn't deserve her. When Willow told me about him I almost took the whole house down. It took a year and a half to get over me. The love of her fucking life, and it was **that** easy? And she forgot. She forgot about my death. About me. God knows if it was the other way around, I might've killed myself just so I could be with her.

But then again, I suppose I shouldn't be so surprised. Buffy always had a knack for picking up someone new very quickly after breaking up with her last item. Angel, Scott, Angel (again), Parker, Riley, Spike. The intervals between the five probably make **up** a fucking year and a half. So maybe I should be flattered. But I'm not. I guess I just thought we were different. That our relationship was more mature, more developed. More...something. Sophisticated? I don't know.

More **real**. That's the word.

I guess I was hoping for too much, huh? Besides, I did want her to be happy, even while I was rotting in Hell. I just wanted her to be alright. To be healthy and carefree and well. But God be damned, she doesn't look happy. That dumbfuck hasn't changed her for the better, he's changed her for the worse. She dresses like a cheap fuck. I **know** what that looks like. I've **been** the cheap fuck, and later on I've fucked a couple of them, too. And that's not Buffy. Buffy's not white trash. She's fucking beautiful, and those clothes make her look like shit. She lets him nudge her around like he's the boss. The Buffy Summers I died for, **never** would've taken any shit from anyone. Especially not from someone like him. So who the fuck is this girl, and what the hell did she do with my Buffy?

Yea, I said it.

**My** Buffy.

Damn it all, she's got me ranting to myself, in my head, wishing I could just smack her across the face and tell her to wake up. That I'm back, that I love her, that I want her...Ha. That would go well. We're both too stubborn to do anything anyway. The little bit of pride I have left won't let me fall apart and confront her first, and she's too full of herself to admit the fact that she wants me, too. The problem is, me and Buffy are the types that have to be together, or it'll be like lighting a match near a kerosene leak. In laymen's terms, we're like a nuclear missile and an atom bomb put together. Like I said, we just don't do well together when we're not **together** together.

Fuck her motherfucking dumbass shit...fuck!

I hate this bullshit.

And furthermore, I refuse to sleep in that dank basement anymore. Okay, so it's not really dank, but just let me do my ranting, alright? I'd rent myself a hotel room if I had any cash, but I don't, so I guess the empty room at the end of the hall will work. I walk on over with a little bit of my shit that Willow had gotten for me, and put my hand on the doorknob. Something tingles and I can't help but feel a little worried. What the hell...?

I open the forbidding door and there is me. Me all over the place. In little frames, in big frames. My eyes are everywhere. My favorite stake, my twin daggers, my...my knife; they're mounted on the wall. My bed, my bag, my clothes, my stereo, my books, my videos, my sheets, my pens, pencils and paper, my journals, my xmas cards, my soap, even my perfume...

My room.

What in the fuck...

"She cried, you know." Willow's voice startles me. She leans against the doorway and I realize I'd fallen to my knees in the middle of the floor in surprise. I have to admit, it's a bit much to be taking in.

"Every night. I could hear her in this room. Sobbing." Her voice lows to a whisper.

No. I can't hear this. Not now. I gotta go. I gotta leave. I want to leave. I **need** to leave.

"So this is where you meant by 'storage'?" I respond softly, trying to make it all funny. Make this fucked up situation into something to laugh at.

I'm smiling, you little fucks. I'm fucking happy. Right? Damn fucking right.

"She loves you. She does."

You gotta be shitting me.

"Sure has a funny way of showing it. Really."

"It's all just a surprise. A shock."

More excuses? Damnit, Red. She's always making excuses, always for Buffy, and I don't know why anymore. The girl's done the damage. There's no need to make excuses for it anymore.

"...for all of us. I mean, it doesn't give Buffy a reason to have done any of those things, but you know how it is."

Oh. I guess she wasn't done speaking. And what she just said makes sense.

"Makes sense."

"Listen, maybe...maybe we could go clubbing? There's a club downtown we could all go to. Take care of some of your H&H?"

Clubbing.

**Willow** just asked me if I wanted to go clubbing. I really must look like shit.

"Clubbing sounds...great. But I'll pass on the H&H for now."

"Should we alert the newspapers? You're not hungry or...horny? Where did you hide the real Faith?" She laughs. I laugh.

We laugh.

"Just tired of life, Red." There's more than just that.

"And besides...I couldn't...I couldn't do that to..." I try to say it. I try to tell her why, but I can't. It's okay though.

I think she already knows.


	11. Chapter 11

**This chapter was a little hard to write, just because I wasn't sure how to portray what exactly happened when...okay well you'll find out when you read. Just give me feedback; I hope it's satisfactory.**

** Enjoy and review.**

* * *

Narrative

"I couldn't...I couldn't do that to..."

To Buffy.

To be honest, Willow didn't quite believe that the Buffy they loved was here anymore. The only piece of Buffy left was her physical appearance. The best part of Buffy, she thought, went with Faith when she died. Willow desperately hoped that now, with Faith back, it would bring Buffy back, too.

"Well. Goodnight, then."

"Faith..."

"Yea?" Faith knew what Willow was going to say. She wondered if she should fear it.

She didn't.

"Why did you hide it?"

"..."

"I feel kind of humiliated, Faith. Not even having a clue as to how bad-"

"Oh come on, Red. You saw how bad they were, how bad they **still** are!" She jumped up angrily.

"I worry every night that these will never go away, that it'll just always be a reminder of Hell so much that I'd vomit every single time someone touches me. **You** remember."

Willow did, indeed.

* * *

**Flashback (2 weeks ago)**

It took 2 hours hiding from the light of day (and electricity) in a dark corner, flinching violently whenever Willow made even the gentlest of moves.

Two hours for her to even be able to say a word without Faith hiding her face into the comfort of her knees.

"Faith." She crept a little closer. Faith's face was full of terror, and she shook like a broken soul.

It wasn't too far from the truth.

Willow sighed and decided to go get some food. It was near 2 AM and nobody was home, but she tip toed around, grabbing at the leftover ribs and heating up some pizza. The girl needed food. Faith looked more than emaciated. Her flesh sagged against the bones because of the lack of fat; she was a living skeleton with skin and hair. One that took a hell of a beating.

When she returned, she almost gagged at the stench. Something like disgust washed over her, watching the whimpering girl in the corner, just sitting in her own shit and urine. It was quickly replaced with an extreme sorrow that kicked at her gut. Goddess, what had happened to her? She held her tears as she laid the tray on her bed, leaving and returning with gloves, a plastic bag, and stain remover. She eased Faith up and sat the girl in her bathtub and told her gently to stay put. As if she could understand her.

Maybe she did.

Willow spent he next hour cleaning up the waste and 15 more minutes to clear the air in the room. She shut the doors but opened the bedroom windows and the turned on the fans, spraying some air freshener into the atmosphere as an added touch. Funny thing was, she could've used magic. It may have been faster. Easier. But sometimes you just had to do things on your own. It made her feel human sometimes. Assured her that she wouldn't fall into the darkness again. Like she had before. Being human somehow made her feel safe. She supposed that was the irony of it all.

She sighed as she took the tray back downstairs and threw it away, cleaning her hands with extreme thoroughness. She made some new food and took it upstairs. She hesitated before stepping into her bathroom. Did she want Faith eating in there? Or out here?

_In there._

She walked in with a false smile. Faith seemed to shrink - if she could - smaller into herself in the very corner of the bathtub. Willow wondered briefly what it was with terrified creatures and corners. Setting the tray down, Willow sat down on the floor right outside the tub. She spoke with a fake cheerfulness, hoping to persuade Faith into eating. She wondered what kind of food they ate in Hell. She wondered if they ate at all. Her question would be answered later.

"It's food time, Faith! Yay, food!" She smiled brightly and handed the girl a rib. Faith stared at it like a foreign object.

"It's a rib, Faith. Your favorite..." Willow tried again, helplessly.

Then she had an idea. She took it and made a big show of eating the meat off the bones.

"Mm! Yummy ribs!"

Faith stared, then grabbed at one of the ribs on the plate and stuffed it in her mouth ravenously.

Too ravenously.

Where Willow had first watched in pleasure she soon watched in horror as Faith's teeth crunched at the bone itself and the shards cut her gums and her precious lips. Willow made a squealing noise and quickly pulled the remains from Faith's hands, forcing the girl to spit out the pieces of bone from her mouth. It was starvation that did it. Several lifetimes in Hell with no food and she couldn't die; now that she was back on Earth, her body craved food. Needed it, just like any other human being. And even more so, just like any other Slayer.

"Maybe pizza, then." Willow muttered, holding out the boneless pizza.

Faith's hand, still covered in some blood, received it less hungrily, and more cautiously. She ate with no winces or cringes or flinches; clearly she either couldn't feel pain, or the cuts were hardly enough to blip on her pain radar. Willow immediately assumed the latter.

It was disgusting for her to have to see this. And the thought that Faith had to bear through all the cuts and bruises and whatever else the inflictions were...it was terrifying. Horrific. It made the resident redhead extremely angry. And likewise, it made no sense whatsoever. Because Faith, well; Faith was a hero. She died a hero, saving the world and whatnot, and more importantly, saving them. Their happy little family of sorts. It just didn't add up correctly at all. Why would the Powers send one of their heroes down to Hell? And she was pretty sure it was Hell, because Faith wouldn't have gotten those injuries in Heaven. Buffy didn't return with those. Nope. Not at all. Buffy returned with no feelings at all. And Faith...

Faith was all about feeling. Always was, and it seemed she always would be.

Even after coming back from the dead, she was feeling. Unfortunately it was fear. Terror. Absolute, bloodcurdling, mind-numbing fear that shocked Willow. Faith never showed anything like that. Faith didn't show anything at all. Ever. It was always the sexual innuendoes, the winks, the sexy eyebrow waggling, etc. Rage, mostly, if they got to see anything at all. But here, it was all open for her to see. And it hurt. She didn't get why, but it hurt. Willow could feel every single emotionally raw-ended pain that Faith felt whenever she walked into her view during the first few hours.

Faith just hid her face in her hands and did a subtle rocking that Willow could identify as fucking insane. But it wasn't really insanity. Just protection. And that hurt, too. Faith was afraid of her. Was trying to protect herself from her. But why? Willow could make a couple guesses, but she figured she'd do some research. Problem was, all she got were myths and legends. Nothing real. Faith seemed to be the only living proof, and the most she got out of Faith was the wave of emotions **she** was hit with whenever Faith did some hard reflecting. Or when she was sleeping.

If you could call it that.

Nightmares, they said. They both agreed upon it. Just nightmares. They'll be gone eventually. It's just the shock of being back. But Willow couldn't handle being near Faith whenever she was sleeping anymore. She remembered the first night, when she stayed with Faith to make sure she would be alright. Faith had whimpered and cringed and was afraid, but Willow eventually got her to trust her enough to get her washed, clothed, and into bed. Immediately Faith curled up into a fetal position and trembled until she fell asleep.

A luxury she couldn't afford in Hell.

She just watched with sorrowful eyes, stroking the hair, dabbing at the sweat beads that formed on her face with a damp towel. Just ready to doze off in the chair when it happened. It was some sort of gut-wrenching impact to her mind. Faith began to thrash and scream, and Willow - if she could think at the moment - might've thanked the gods for thinking of that soundproofing spell before she put the girl to sleep. Willow was paralyzed in a state of absolute terror, and of an emotional dread that she hadn't felt since the moment before performing the Slayer activation spell. And even that was less dreadful.

This - oh Goddess - was unbearable. She could feel herself collapsing further and further into herself, hands gripping at the sides of her temples, everything inside of her begging for whatever it was to stop. To cease. She could feel her heart breaking all over again, she could feel the fear of the idea of coming out to her friends and family, she could feel the disgusting power of evil spreading inside of her body, she could feel the gloom and doom of every single apocalypse resting on her shoulders, she could feel every last one of the most horrid moments and fears playing and toying with all of her emotions at once, and there was nothing she could do about it.

That was, until one of her hands struck out and hit Faith right in the jaw. Not hard enough to leave a mark, but hard enough to wake her up.

And end the feelings.

Willow was sweating profusely, and feeling the need to dab herself off, though the towel had somehow found itself flung across the room. She thanked the heavens again for bringing whatever it was to a close, and for the fact that the others were out on that trip. And again for the soundproofing spell; it would do no good for any of the neighbors to have heard that, and it would come into use when the others returned. She wiped away her tears and looked at Faith, who had no tears, but was shivering and murmuring nothings into the air.

"Goddess, Faith...what was that?" Willow had to ask, even if she knew she wasn't going to get an answer.

Faith actually glanced over at her and something deep inside sparked recognition in her eyes other than terror and fear; something that felt good for a change, and the dark-haired Slayer tried desperately to speak the word.

"R...red?"

The almighty Wiccan couldn't believe her ears. Eyes widening, she leaned in a little.

"Faith? Did you just...did you just call me-"

"R...r...ed." Faith whispered hoarsely.

And with it - Willow could've sworn it - there was a very small smile. In that smile, Willow could see that part of Faith she remembered in the old days. The Faith who still knew how to keep the party going. The Faith that enjoyed fulfilling the h&h. The Faith who died a hero. The Faith that loved their Buffy.

Tears fell unchecked and happily, while Willow smiled very widely, wanting to shake the girl in her joy.

Faith finally tapped into that reserve inside her mind that knew this grinning fool in front of her. That knew the redhead and all her silly friends. Both their friends. And for the first time since she was back, she felt a little bit of peace. A little of the turmoil lifted from her already burdened shoulders, and serenity seemed to be plausibly in reach.

Within the next two hours, they were managing a conversation. It had been difficult, since Faith continued to speak like what Willow imagined a caveman would communicate like, but it paid off. Grunts became syllables and syllables became words.

"...and I know that it's completely and utterly not of the cool, but you know how she can be without a love-mate and stuff. But now that you're back, that's gonna be totally over, I mean, why wouldn't it be over? Because it's just absolutely disgusting to see and watch and be a witness of the whole thing, and you'll see, it'll be wonderful! With the balloons and party and celebrating...and cake! Yes, lots and lots of cake! Gotta love cake, yessir. I love cake. Mm with the cake and maybe the cupcakes, too! You know, lots gets done quick, with the sugar rush and everything-"

"Red."

Willow flushed in embarrassment.

"Sorry. I get a little overboard on the babbling when I'm nervous. You know, cause I get overexcited and enthused and it's just all crazy all at once and most of the time it doesn't even make any sense at all! Because I start repeating myself and getting all exclaim-y with the exclamation points and everything and all of it just because I get-"

"Nervous. I...know. Think we...got...covered." It still was difficult for her to get the sentences out in whole, so she had to pause every once in a while to get the words straight.

"Right." Willow smiled brightly, still feeling celebratory with joy.

"Buffy...with someone." The tone in the girl's voice was so quiet, so pained, Willow's smile immediately dropped into a worrying frown.

"Yea, but...but it's gonna be over as soon as you step back. We'll work on the talking, the walking and with your Slayer healing, you'll be back to new! And everything will be dandy."

"Three years. Been gone...only three...years." Faith sounded a little taken aback. Surprised.

"That's a long time for someone to be gone, Faith. And you know how Buffy is. He's just temporary. Kind of like Scott, you remember him, right?"

"What's his name?"

Willow noted that the girl didn't have to hesitate as much.

"James. James McKinley."

"How long?"

"About a year and a half." Willow couldn't help but feel nervous when answering the question. Faith clamped her eyes shut, brows furrowing, etched in obvious pain.

There was a bit of silence before Faith opened her eyes again and asked a question that sounded somewhat accusatory, and Willow had to admit it made her feel somewhat guilty.

"And you guys...didn't stop her?"

Willow didn't know how to answer that. How do you answer that kind of a question? She knew what Faith was asking. She'd told her about how James was a complete asshole, a moocher, a sleaze, just overall no good. She commented on how everybody other than Buffy saw past his smooth-talking and wanted to smack him upside the head every time he showed his face around. They all disapproved. So the million dollar question?

Why did they let her?

The truth was, they tried to talk to her, tried to tell her, but in the end, she was adamant. Buffy just let him stay, and there was nothing they could do about it.

"We tried to." Willow whispered, deep in thought.

"But nobody tells Buffy what to do. She's a grown woman, we figured it was just a phase. A really stupid one, but a phase nonetheless. I know she still wants you, though. There's no doubt about it. Nobody talks about you in front of her, cause we know she'll just break down. I'm half afraid she's just been blocking everything away."

"It's alright. You're...right. Buffy is...big girl...**a** big girl. She can make...her own...choices...yea?" Faith flashed her a slight grin to indicate that she wasn't angry at her. Willow returned it with an apologetic smile.

"Don't worry. It'll be fine. Everything will be fine." She still couldn't believe **she** was comforting **Faith**.

Didn't realize she was going to have to for a bit longer than just two weeks.


	12. Chapter 12

**Lalala. Okay, so this one was fun to write. Relish it's narrative/story-like qualities. And just to promote myself, I have a new one-shot up: 'Pride'. Check it out and review it. I'm gonna have a new one-shot up soon, and possibly a new story, but that's then.  
**

**Enjoy and review.**

* * *

**Present Day (next morning)**

Faith wasn't always a morning riser. She was normally a night girl.

But the lack of sleep she received in Hell and the previous night's mayhem allowed her no particular need to sleep. Only a couple hours if just to satisfy the needs of her body. The need to recover and rest. Even if her scars seemed to stay intact. She gave herself the once over again, hoping that some scars may have healed, but to no avail. It disgusted her to see them; the claw marks, the bites, the bruises from the hands and feet that beat her, the lashes from the whips, everything. The demons in Hell had no qualms and all across her front, her sides, her back, her legs, her arms...wait!

Her eyebrows shot up in surprise and her lips parted slightly to take in a breath. Shaking fingers trailing a healing wound. The one that Giles had stitched up just last night. Lighter in tone, and seeming to smooth out against the rest of her skin. It was healing.

_What the fuck?_

She wasn't sure how it made sense. Did she have to rip open every wound and restitch them just to have them heal? What? What did she have to do? She didn't quite understand it. Perhaps Willow or Giles could think of something. Perhaps even Angel.

_Angel._

Her heart warmed at the thought. Her fucking hero. She was extremely glad he would be coming; she needed some extra strength to help her throughout the day. Some guidance. A voice of reason. A guardian Angel, so to speak. She wondered at his situation. If he was doing alright. What about the rest of the team? Willow said Angel was coming...Faith hoped that meant Cordelia or Wes would be tagging along as well. It would be a pleasant surprise, but she'd learned not to hold her breath.

After throwing on some old clothes - none of which fit her as tightly anymore - she did her morning stretches gingerly. Sure, she hadn't done them since she'd been dead, but that didn't mean she couldn't pick it back up. She did them every morning when she was alive, and didn't plan to cut them out now that she was back. Standing up, she cracked her knuckles and shook herself out carefully, cautious not to re-open anything at this ungodly hour. It wouldn't do to have half-awake Scoobies hastily sticking needles and thread through her body. She'd be a regular raggedy ann.

She took one last glance over the room. Her room. She wondered vaguely if Buffy ever visited anymore, and if she didn't, who did? Because the room was kept clean and dusted, no sign of mold or fungus sprouting in the corners, and the smell was positively radiant. Of course, it was Faith's typical smell: a mixture of her perfume, cigarettes, and a hint of sex. It was nice to revisit that smell. She could smell it on her clothes, the sheets, everywhere in the room. It was really fucking nice. Took her back to the times when she wasn't so held down by the fact that she'd been dead for three years and the love of her life was currently shacking up with some dumbass from Dickville. And no, that's not really a place.

Closing the door behind her, Faith quietly walked down the steps towards the kitchen. She knew her way around, thanks to the few days when nobody else was home and Willow gave her a short tour. And what a nostalgic house it was. Lovely, as it was, but so completely designed to parallel the Summers' old house. It had spooked her out at first, and Willow had to reassure her that she wasn't in some Hell dream or an alternate universe. Xander had it made, constructed, with several extra features. Extra rooms, more space, sturdier material, weapons cabinet in each room according to who bunked there, and much stronger locks on the front door. There was an exit route out, in case it was needed. It was nice. She planned to congratulate Xander on the piece of architecture later.

As she turned into the kitchen area, she froze. The person at the table with a mug of coffee in her small hands froze as well.

Buffy.

Forcing all thoughts down, Faith took it into stride and walked past the table to the coffee machine and poured herself a cup of black coffee. There were several packets of sugar still out, so she helped herself to them. She prolonged the time she was turned away from Buffy by slowly stirring the sugar into the hot liquid. Stirring and staring, deep into the black, hoping maybe it'd react like an 8 ball and give her some yes-or-no answers to her many questions. It really was a pity that it wasn't working quite as well as Faith was hoping. Not that she expected anything to show up in her cup, though she's experienced stranger things.

Finally she turned around, avoiding Buffy's eyes, though it was clear that the blonde was avoiding hers, too. She held her chin up high and leaned against the counter, sipping at her coffee quietly. When their gazes finally crossed paths unexpectedly, Faith just gave her a smile. That little half smile that Buffy always went crazy over. Faith didn't know why, it was sort of a habit she had when she was alive. Buffy's eyes widened very slightly, before she returned it with a weary close-lipped smile. Then she lifted the cup to her lips and swallowed the rest of her coffee, feeling Faith's gaze on her throat as the drink passed through her esophagus. She didn't say a thing, but her skin tingled where Faith's eyes traveled, simply observing the beauty that embraced Buffy. She blushed a little when she realized Faith met her eyes again and gave her a knowing and approving smile.

"You always look so nice in the morning, B."

Buffy flushed again, feeling like a schoolgirl with a crush. She looked down to hide her embarrassed smile before glancing up again.

"Thanks."

"No problem."

Then the situation switched as Faith tilted her head back to gulp down the last of her drink. Buffy's eyes followed from the graceful neck further lower where the skin touched the fabric of the t-shirt. Internally Buffy wished she had x-ray vision. Something she'd continuously wished for way back when she was still with Faith. She was still staring in the direction of Faith's lovely breasts when the dark Slayer's voice cut through her daze.

"They're nice, aren't they?"

"Yea...real nice." Buffy answered without thinking, then slapped a hand over her mouth.

Faith grinned fully down at her, enjoying the feel of embarrassing Buffy as if it was the most natural thing in the world. Which it was. She'd missed this plain and simple banter that was so without tension. So without the pain and hurt of being rejected again.

"S-sorry. I meant...well..."

"I know what you meant, B. I'm pretty pleased, too. God must've given me a package deal." She winked at the blonde Slayer, who turned red for the fourth time.

As she placed the cup inside the sink she spoke again.

"Listen, Buffy-"

"I'm sorry!" Buffy blurted. Faith turned around with a somewhat bemused expression on her face.

"What?"

"I...I'm sorry about yesterday, I know I said some horrible things, I don't even know why I said them. I really need to learn to think before I speak. And I...well it's..." She gave Faith an apologetic smile.

"It's really good to see you again. To have you back. We've missed you."

Faith nodded in thanks, and turned back around to wash out the cup. She'd cringed inwardly, wishing Buffy had told her that she - **individually** - had missed her. Not just 'we'. But baby steps, right?

Buffy, still sitting at the table, whacked herself mentally for the comment.

_We? Good going, Buffy. She already knows they missed her._

"I'm sorry, too. Couldn't help it. Your boyfriend's a dick." It wasn't in Faith's blood to be nice about it. She was honest and blunt and it's what made her who she was.

"He just..." Buffy was trying to think of a defense. When she caught Faith's disbelieving look, she sighed.

"Okay, fine. He's a dick."

Faith chuckled.

"Finally, you admit it."

"So she did. I'm impressed, Faith. She's never, **ever** said anything against her babycakes." Willow stepped into view with a grin on her face and Kennedy linked to her arm.

Kennedy looked a little bit disgruntled about the time, and plopped herself into a chair.

"She practically worships the ground that disgusting piece of shit walks on. With the drool and everything." She shot Buffy a glare, which was returned with the same amount of dislike.

"I do not." Buffy retorted. Then she turned to Faith.

"I do not." She repeated.

Faith just shrugged, and Willow scoffed.

"You do, Buffy. It's really all kinds of sad." The redhead shook her head sadly. Looking at Faith with a little twinkle in her eyes. Faith grinned.

In came a messy-haired Xander and an even more messy-headed Anya. The ex-vengeance demon made a loud sigh as she also pulled up a chair to the table.

"This early morning rising better not be a habit. I need my beauty sleep." She eyed them all threateningly before she demanded,

"Honey, my coffee."

Xander grinned boyishly and reached over for a clean mug. Faith gave him a playful nudge.

"Whipped much, Xan?"

Before he could reply, Anya interrupted.

"Of course he is. I wouldn't have married him if he wasn't."

There was a round of laughter as Xander handed Anya her coffee (exactly the way she liked it) with a blush.

"Thanks An, I live to be humiliated another day."

As they laughed again, everybody inwardly rejoiced at the fact that Buffy was sitting at the table with them, and without the presence of James tainting their conversation.

"You have **got** to be **shitting** me. Do you **psychos** realize what **time** it **is**?!" Dawn stormed in, the last word reaching a high octave that made everyone ears ring.

Faith reached over and brought the girl into a bear hug, lifting her off her feet before letting her down. She draped an arm over the younger Summers' shoulder and grinned at her.

"Not a morning person, Squirt?"

Dawn grumbled something about crazy people and feeding them to vampires but jumped up to sit on the counter.

Willow, who was still leaning against the entrance way, felt a feeling of satisfaction wash over her, watching as Faith and Buffy periodically stole glances at each other when the other wasn't looking. She couldn't believe the old Buffy was back. It just blew her mind. Just the night before, she was still acting like the new Buffy. The one they all couldn't trust or rely on. And here was the real Buffy, the one who still loved her friends and was willing to give up her life to save them. Who had already given her life two times to do so.

What a pleasant surprise to have neared the kitchen to hear Faith and Buffy speaking to each other in a simple and plain manner. She had turned to Kennedy with wide eyes, and Kennedy lifted her eyebrows and grinned widely.

"Looks like our girls are back!" She whispered excitedly. Willow bit her lip and hoped.

They weren't disappointed. The way the two were gazing at each other, it was like old times. It was nice. More than nice. Really fantastic.

"So Red tells me you're the go-to guy for some building and fixing. How's that working for ya?" Faith was asking Xander, who smiled proudly and began to explain the wonders of his job.

"Well Giles asked me to lead the construction for the place, and since we had the money, we had the means. I set up the blueprints to fit the standards of holding up to maybe two hundred Slayers, four to each room."

Faith whistled.

"50 rooms just for dorming them? That's pretty ambitious, even for us."

Everybody stared at her. Faith calculated a math problem, and used the word 'ambitious'. It didn't matter that 200 divided by 4 was a simple problem, or that everybody else in the room knew what 'ambitious' meant. It was the fact that Faith knew.

"What? I'm not a complete idiot. Geez." She made a face at them.

"I thought you dropped out of high school. And you've never used big words before." Dawn said matter-of-factly.

"Well I don't go out of my way to. Just get things out simply, no need to make it all complex. I just thought ambitious was the right word." Faith replied, shrugging nonchalantly in her defense.

She didn't mind; she knew everybody already thought she was somewhat academically challenged anyways. She wasn't, but who cared if they'd previously thought so? There was no doubt that she was still the number one in mental wit. And now everybody realized that she wasn't a scholastic retard, but pretty damn sharp for someone with a minimal high school education.

Xander continued.

"So then there were classrooms, the training room, the gym, auditorium, the lobby, faculty offices, meeting room, and the bathrooms. It would've taken a while, but we had some magical help." He winked at Willow, who nodded.

"It would've taken a year or more just to get this done without magic, so we requested assistance from the Coven, who made it all go faster, and we also cloaked it with protection spells and etc."

"And G-man?"

"He's got his own little living area on the first floor, in case any of the girls need his assistance and he's got a nifty little button that he can press to set off alarms throughout the school and the house. There's a loudspeaker and communication's wired to each dorm room, so the girls can connect to him immediately through a simple speaker on the wall of their rooms."

"Damn." Faith shook her head, clearly impressed.

"Too bad we never had that, huh, B?" She smiled at Buffy, who had been joining in their conversation so far rather well, all with smiles and jokes.

But when she looked now, something was changed. Maybe it was the eyes, and maybe the way the lips were drawn into a slight frown, but Faith was guessing it was the fact that James had walked in with a snarky grin on his face. She wanted to punch his face in, erase that grin off his face and give the idiot something to cry about, but she didn't. She didn't do anything at all.

"Sure, really too bad." Buffy replied dismissively, standing up to greet James with a peck to his cheek.

Everybody froze, and there was an immediate tension that smothered the good nature of their mood.

"Morning, gang." His voice drawled unpleasantly. He stood with his arm around Buffy's waist, in a white bathrobe and nightshades around his neck, both monogrammed with his initials.

"Ugh." Dawn jumped off the counter almost immediately and walked out without another word. Making it clear how much she despised his presence.

"Wow. I think she's managed to say everything in one 'ugh'." Willow commented curtly, eyes following Dawn out of the kitchen, then back onto America's worst couple.

"Dawnie's always been good at judging a man and his character." Xander noted, his friendly tone dropped into a more irritated one.

"Apparently that ability skips over siblings." Anya muttered, rolling her eyes at Buffy's domesticated act of making James a new pot of coffee.

"Well Dawn's always been the smarter one." Kennedy remarked in a brusque tone, eyes boring into Buffy's, revealing how much she was disgusted at her petty show of playing housewife.

Buffy's hand slammed down onto the table, making the mugs already on the table jump.

"Listen, Kennedy. I don't like your attitude. So back off." Voice deepening into a growl.

Kennedy leaned forward, meeting the growl with a snarl of her own.

"Well I fucking **hate** your fiance, but I don't see you throwing him out just to please me."

The tension was at a full time high, and was likely to fall into an all out brawl when Faith interrupted the glaring match.

"Come on, guys. What happened to the calm morning thing?" Faith knew, but she was trying to play nice. At least for now. No matter how much it hurt to see Buffy fall into that stupid American girlfriend mode.

"Oh stop acting like that doesn't bother you, Faith!"

"I dunno what you're talking 'bout, Ken."

Trying so hard to play it off, just to let it go. But Kennedy could see past that.

"I can't believe you're just gonna let that go!"

It wasn't going to take much to make Faith snap, considering she's been under a lot of stress anyway, so she snapped. Jerking her head up, jaw clenched, fists clenched tighter, eyes flashing with anger, jealousy, and a hint of betrayal.

"Yea, it bothers me, Ken. I've been here for two weeks, and like Anya said, you can hear them having sex anywhere inside the damn house. But I'm not gonna hold onto the past and get upset, cause Miss American Dream here really isn't worth getting bothered over!"

Kennedy decided to stop there, and got up to give her an apologetic touch to the shoulder. Faith just smiled back, accepting the apology. She yawned and stretched her arms above her head, and headed out.

"Well, I'm gonna go get ready for that sparring match. Catchya there, B." She cast a meaningful glance towards Buffy, who couldn't quite catch all the meaning behind the look.

The other four followed the dark Slayer out, without so much as a word to Buffy or James, not particularly caring if it hurt Buffy's feelings or not. Because she had hurt them all badly, by ignoring them, ignoring her friendships with all of them, and because of her rather shitty choice in boyfriends.

Leaving Buffy behind physically just like Buffy had left them emotionally.


	13. Chapter 13

**So this one's mainly based on Kennedy. I know she's a bit aggressive, but obviously, she's pissed because Buffy's way of dealing isn't so hot. The actual sparring match is the next chapter.  
**

**Enjoy and review!**

* * *

Kennedy's POV

"Fucking prick." I mutter under my breath. Willow hears me and gives me a look.

Not a bad one.

"I'm gonna take a guess at who you're talking about and agree heartily." She says, sighing as she sits on the bed with a frown on her face.

So adorable. And extremely hot, in that Wiccan, magical, Willow-y way.

And she's all mine, too. Lucky me, right?

"I mean, she was acting like the old Buffy, the Buffy of the old, and there was smiling and joking and laughter was involved somewhere in there..."

"Then in comes the big bad wolf and he eats little red riding hood and spits out the grandmother."

She gives me an amused look but holds in that cute little giggle. Because it's 'wrong' to laugh at our friends. Yea, right. Buffy of the new? Not so much our friend.

"Oh! It's almost time for class! Gotta shower!" Jumping up, she gives me a peck - which I attempt to deepen, but to no avail - and trods happily into the bathroom.

I guess I better get ready, too, since there's nothing I look forward to more than teaching a bunch of snot-nosed brats how to do what they're gonna do for the rest of their lives.

Yippee. Jumping for joy. Really. Probably how Buffy felt about me and the other Potentials but I'm not gonna try to even put us at a similar plane right now. Way too pissed off.

I change clothes and reach for a sword. Guess what I teach?

_Knock knock knock._

"It's open!" I yell, as I wipe some crusty blood off the edges.

The door opens - I said it would - and there stands Faith. She's still wearing the same clothes, which makes sense since she was the only one not wearing pajamas this morning, and there's a look on her face that I haven't seen in three fucking years. The look that screams, 'help me, because I'm too fucking proud to ask'.

"Hey." I say. I know I have to approach this cautiously.

"Hey back."

Smartass.

I grin at her. She returns it, not quite fully, but at least she returns it.

"So what's bothering our resident big bad Slayer?"

She looks surprised before rolling her eyes and sighing as she steps in and closes the door.

"Don't tell me, I've got that 'help me, I'm pitiful' look on my face." Leaning back against the closed door.

"Okay, I won't tell you."

"Smartass."

Hey! Great minds think alike. I swear we're sisters.

"So. Buffy?"

"Is it that obvious?"

She knows it is.

A blind, deaf, **and** mute man could realize how obvious it is.

"A blind, deaf, **and** mute man could realize how obvious it is, Faith. Seriously. Big with the obvious."

We stay in silence for a little bit.

"I don't get it, Ken. I thought she loved me."

I feel the emotions bubbling, radiating towards me, hitting me with the impact of a two ton Mack truck. Engulfing me with every feeling of rejection and dejection, pain and regret, jealousy and betrayal. It's drowning me, suffocating me, and I hold my hands up quickly, trying to regain my breath. Trying to shed myself of this horrible moment, because it's just too much for one person to handle.

But she did it and a hundred times worse. She still does it.

Now it's falling away from me quickly as she regains her composure, pulling everything behind that stoic mask that says to the world that nothing is wrong. I wish I could allow her to let it all go, but nobody can deal with that kind of pain. Unless you've been to Hell and back. My mind flits toward Angel. I'm really glad he's coming; she needs the support.

"She did." I try to soothe her. She gives me a pained look.

"Yea. **Did**. Past fucking tense."

Oh. I can see how that would burst her bubble.

"Listen, somewhere inside of that thick skull of hers, she still does. Everybody can see it. No matter how much she pretends she's in love with James, she knows...**everybody** knows, that her heart beats for you." I say firmly.

And isn't it the truth?

I know it is. There's nobody else in the world who could've brought the old Buffy out other than Faith.

Nobody.

"Just don't let it bother you. And even when it does, keep up that strong pretense, cause she's gonna figure out sooner or later that she's not the center of the universe, and that you **can** move on without her."

She sighs deeply.

"That's the thing. I **can't** move on without her. That's like asking you to move on while Red takes a shot at stick again."

Ooh. Good fucking point. I'd probably go out and do something way destructive. Like kill myself, for example.

But I'm not gonna share that with Faith. Very bad idea.

"Which isn't going to happen, no sir!" And here comes my beautiful redhead. She's shaking her head to the prospect of being with a guy.

"Good point, nonetheless." I reply, giving Willow a kiss on the cheek before continuing.

"I'd be pretty devastated."

"Yea. Devastated." The hurt in her voice makes me look up at her, but she's already turning to leave.

"Faith." Willow calls out.

Faith doesn't turn back around but she hesitates and lets her head pivot a little towards us, though I can't quite make out her face behind her hair.

"She'll come around. I know she will."

She doesn't say a word but raises a hand in a gestural goodbye before closing the door.

* * *

Narrative

"Tell me why she's doing this, Willow. Just tell me why the **fuck** she insists on hurting her like that!" Kennedy was training. Willow was watching.

They were early for the sparring match, and Kennedy felt the need to let loose on the punching bag before she broke something valuable. The tension had been mounting throughout the day, the shortened classes filled with small talk and gossip amongst the Slayers in Training (SiTs) and the sparks that seemed to fly whenever Faith and Buffy passed each other. Faith had hardly given Buffy a look. Nothing at all. Kennedy internally congratulated her for it. There was one moment where Buffy, however, had hesitated, as if wanting to say something, but Faith brushed by her before she could even blink.

Cold. Hard. Distant.

Everything that Buffy deserved. Everything that she earned, because what happened in the morning was wrong. Everybody knew it.

"I think I know, and the reasons are undeniably Buffy-like." Willow sighed, clearly upset. Kennedy gave the bag a good hook kick before turning to face her girlfriend. Waiting for more.

"She wants a normal life. She's wanted a normal life since forever and half ago. And James? Well, he's about as related to un-normal as we are to normal. He plays the big man in the house, which ew, is just wrong, and she plays the little woman. Does that make sense?"

Kennedy rolled her eyes as she unwrapped her knuckles.

"So Buffy's doing her bipolar bit because she desperately wants to play Betty Crocker?"

Willow shrugged and gave a slight nod.

"That's so stupid. And so typically Buffy." Kennedy muttered.

"You called?" Buffy's voice rang out. The two turned to face her.

There was something about her that was a little off, a little different than the usual. A stronger gaze, a surer step, a resolve upon her face that screamed of the old

_Buffy?_

Willow thought. What she said in response was a little different.

"Hey Buffy."

"Hi Wills. Kennedy." Buffy gave a curt nod towards the younger Slayer, who smirked and replied to the question they'd been greeted with.

"Yea, I called. I would've asked for Faith, but she's not much into playing the bitch role lately." She remarked airily, eyes challenging her to take the bait.

Buffy's eyes narrowed.

"I already told you to back off, Kennedy." Her voice a little less demanding, more reserved. It might've thrown Kennedy off, if she wasn't so pissed.

"I don't listen well to authority that don't deserve my respect." Kennedy spat angrily, not particularly caring that Buffy could hand her her ass on a silver plate. Willing to try and fight in honor of her friend.

Who was hurting inside but pretending she wasn't.

"And I don't need your respect, just for you to follow orders." Buffy spoke without thinking, again, and immediately regretted her words. She didn't quite mean it like that. It was just that Kennedy always managed to piss her the fuck off.

Even so, Buffy knew better than to say something like that. Unfortunately for her reputation, she couldn't just apologize and eat her words. Oh no, Buffy was too proud for that.

Kennedy laughed and shook her head in disbelief.

"Wow, baby. It looks like Buffy decided to play Hitler on us. And with her look, I guess she'd be able to pull it off, too." She paused, pretending to think hard for a moment before continuing.

"Oh wait, that wouldn't do, because that's not **normal** and that wouldn't sit well with Miss USA here, would it? Well let me tell you something, Your Highness." Her voice lowered into a menacing growl. Meeting Buffy's gaze with an intensity that spoke volumes about her anger.

"You're not fucking normal, and you never will be. And the way things are going, the second you realize how not normal you are, you're gonna have nobody, and nobody's gonna have you. Not even Faith, because none of us will let her near you. Why? Because even the best friends you fucked off know you don't deserve her love. Not after you throw it all away to fall to shit for some dickwad of a human. You keep hoping the world will revolve around you, and sooner or later it will, but only in **your** head. Nobody else is gonna wait for you to get it, Buffy. You were a fucking hero; even I know that, and as much as I disliked you then, I still respected you. Now you're the one way below me and I'm not gonna let Faith fuck up her third shot at rebuilding her life like you did."

And Kennedy meant it. She knew enough about Faith's life to know that Buffy's present day bullshit was just another way of the Powers to show that they were a bunch of assholes trying to fuck with Faith's life all over again. Faith was alive for the second time. But emotionally, spiritually, mentally; this was her third time around. Faith died the moment she begged Angel to kill her. Faith knew it. Angel knew it. Kennedy knew it once she heard the story. Faith gave up and died and was reborn into being someone new.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Buffy asked wearily, defensive and feeling the wall of righteousness around her crumple down below. She half wished to thank Kennedy for it, though only she knew why.

Kennedy was ready to strike the final blow.

"You heard me, Summers. I'm not gonna let Faith fuck this up by smothering herself into a messed up relationship with someone who's only going to use her, fuck her, drain her emotionally, then fuck with her mind and spitting her back out. She's already gone through enough **shit** by the people who were supposed to love her...I won't let you add anymore pain to that than you already have."

As soon as she spoke the last word, the bell rang, and over the loudspeaker you could hear Giles' voice.

"All students and faculty, please report to the sparring ring for a special demonstration in ten minutes."

Students bustled in and so did faculty. Plus one 'guest instructor', who meandered lazily towards the two squared off and angry Slayers, cracking her knuckles along the way.

"So. You ready to rumble?"


	14. Chapter 14

**The long awaited chapter that contains the sparring match. I desperately hope it doesn't disappoint. Enjoy and review, you fantastic people.**

* * *

**Flashback (After breakfast)**

Buffy kissed James on the cheek again before saying,

"I'm gonna go get ready for class."

"Thought you were doing that spar thing with your ex." James wiped some coffee off of his lips onto his sleeve.

Buffy could feel her irritation rising.

"Will you stop relating her as my ex? She has a name, you know." She snapped. He glanced at her in surprise, before leaning over to kiss her on the neck.

"Of course, I'm sorry, baby."

She could feel his breath on her neck, his rough lips, and the coarse stubble that scraped against her skin. On most days, it excited her, the roughness. But for some reason, today, it felt wrong. And as he held her to him and fondled at her body, her eyes closed and her thoughts focused on one thing. On one person.

One woman.

_Faith..._

Her eyes shot open and she pulled herself away from him, making up some stupid excuse that she didn't want to be late, though her body begged for some sort of relief. A release. As her body begged and pleaded for the release she knew she hadn't had the chance to experience in three miserable years. And now, that chance was living with her. Staring at her in the fucking face, because her body knew what it wanted. Who it wanted. And it was not the silly man she left behind in the kitchen. He was an illusion of normality that she'd been searching for all her Slayer life. A normal man, a normal life, a normal marriage, a normal future. Something she believed she'd always wanted. That her mother always wanted.

Somehow she knew that if her mother was looking down at her from Heaven, Joyce Summers would not be pleased with her recent choices.

Buffy opened her closet, eyes dully looking over the clothes she'd accumulated over the years. All of her clothes of the old being thrust into boxes and stacked way in the back, while less proper clothes were hanging along the bar. She knew it didn't make sense. She wanted normal? Those outfits weren't normal. They were trashy and cheap and inappropriate. But James had made it sound normal. Made it look normal. The asshole made everything he wanted from her look and sound and feel normal.

And she knew he was an asshole. How could she not know?

"Idiot." She muttered to herself, picking out a more sensible training outfit. It wasn't particularly teacher material, but she figured it was better than what she had out to wear.

_Idiot._

She repeats in her head, knowing that was exactly what she was. An idiot. For turning the other cheek when James was being rude, for pushing her friends away when they were trying to help, for allowing him to take everything good left in her and turning it into exactly what she was.

An absolute idiot.

And who could she blame but herself for that change? It was already clear that her friends and family were drifting away from her because of it. That they were affected and hurt and didn't want any part of it. She knew she was fueling it this morning, but she was so built into that habit that she couldn't change it. It was too hard, and this new Buffy was much more of a complainer than when she was still only 16 years old and a newborn Slayer. Trying so hard to push all of her responsibilities and the achievements she made as far away from her as possible. And why?

Just to forget.

Who?

We all know the answer to that.

She sat herself down on the floor against the bed, bringing her knees up against her body. Wrapping her arms around her legs, she bowed her head down to hide from the world her tears. She cried because she knew she'd made one of the worst decisions of her life, she cried because she knew she'd hurt and was still hurting all the important people in her life, and she cried because she knew that with every breath she took, she was spending time away from the one person that mattered the most. The one person that was still waiting, still there, after all the pain and devastation.

She cried because she was guilty and ashamed and so lost.

She cried because she just did not know how to make it all better again.

And she cried everything out of her system until what was left was a girl - a woman - with a new resolve. Her face set and jaw clenched with determination. Her heart pumping the blood that refused to take this ridiculousness lying down. The Slayer inside of her rejoicing at the return of its true face. Of its true purpose. Her mind finally focused and ready.

To try.

Perhaps her first encounters wouldn't be successful, but she could still try. Not just could. She **would** still try.

Because the Slayer line was worth it. Because the goodness in the world was worth it. Because her friends, her loving family, were absolutely worth it. Because everything she had fought for, and everything she used to stand for, was worth it. Because the Buffy she'd neglected for so long was worth it. And most importantly:

Because Faith was worth it.

* * *

**Present **

They circled each other warily, the silence in the air thick and and getting thicker still.

Everybody in their seats, on the edge, eyes wide, feeling the tension settle heavily the way humidity settles on the canopy of a tropical rainforest.

Waiting impatiently for the first move.

Faith requested a meeting afterwards, just for the faculty plus Angel when he came, but that was pushed far from their focus. Everything other than the fight before them was pushed way back and away from their attention. Because **the** Slayers were in the ring, and that was all that seemed to matter.

"Gonna make a move, Faith? Or are you ready to surrender now?" Buffy's voice asked jokingly. Faith internally rejoiced at the twinkle in Buffy's eyes. There she was, the old girl.

"Just waiting to exploit your weaknesses, B. Don't get your panties in a twist." She smirked in response, still circling.

Buffy quickly flinched towards her left and aimed for a right hook, which made contact only so that Faith could use Buffy's follow-through as leverage when she dropped and swept the blonde from under her feet. Buffy hit the floor with a thud but quickly leapt back up, her Slayer metabolism kicking in stronger now. Faith, too, felt the pain in her jaw send sparks through her body that begged for more.

"Didn't hurt you already, did I?" She asked, lightness in her tone.

"I hate to disappoint you, but nope!" Buffy replied, quickly bringing her leg up to snap a roundhouse.

Faith perceived the move and blocked it with her left arm and followed it up with a lightning-fast right cross to Buffy's jaw. Buffy moved to dodge it but miscalculated the timing and was hit squarely on the shoulder, dislocating it from the socket.

"Shit." She muttered, grabbing at the offending spot.

"Need help?" Faith asked cockily, fists still up. She had a tendency to have her guard up at all times.

"Already got all the help I need from you, thanks." Buffy rolled her eyes, still grunting with the pain. She was still moving in a circular motion with Faith, attempting to pull her shoulder back into place while on the defensive.

Buffy didn't feel the jerk and snap of her shoulder returning to its proper spot until after it happened. She looked up in shock, and she could hear the growing murmurs of surprise in the audience. Faith had somehow gotten past her defenses, gripped her shoulder and pulled it into place, and returned to her spot in the ring in a single fluid motion. All without Buffy being able to react accordingly.

"Okay. How did you do that?" She was curious more than cautious, the relief of having her shoulder regained making her less hostile.

But Faith couldn't answer a question she didn't know the answer to. She looked just as confused, but held her confident posture, still unwilling to let down her fists.

"Beats me, B. Just happened."

Buffy tested her shoulder gingerly, rolling it gently.

"Huh. Well, thanks. It feels much better when it's where it's supposed to be." She said jovially. Faith quirked an eyebrow.

"I'm sure a lot of things would feel better if they were where they're supposed to be." She ducked a swing and caught Buffy in a headlock.

"Especially for the people who're with the one they're supposed to be with." She whispered hotly into her captive's ears. Buffy, who had been struggling to get out of the grip, stiffened at the words.

"But you probably don't remember how that feels, do ya, Twinkie? It's been, what, three years?" Faith's voice kept drawling, seeping past all the defenses of Buffy's final walls and resting solidly inside her assumably tiny brain.

Buffy's head snapped back, cutting Faith's beautiful lips in the process, as well as releasing the strong hold the other girl had on her. She quickly turned back around to face Faith, who was wiping at her bottom lip, a grin pasted well across her face. Holding her hands up, she flicked her fingers inward in the universal 'come here' motion. Feeling the blood boil beneath her skin, Buffy charged forth with a simple but strong spin kick, which was blocked deftly and returned with a swift palm strike onto her solar plexus. She doubled over and knew the result would be one of the worst bruises she'd ever encounter in her life. Gasping for breath, Buffy pulled an elbow strike blindly, which hit Faith on her left leg, a little above her thigh.

With a yelp of shock and pain, Faith stumbled down. Buffy shot up and expected Faith to do the same, but was surprised to see that the dark Slayer was still down, being held up by only her two hands and one knee. The other leg was limp and useless. Faith was taking in deep ragged breaths, eyes wide and arms shaking.

"Faith?" Buffy was cautious, but was taken aback. The force of her elbow strike wasn't all that hard; it shouldn't have hurt Faith so badly.

_Unless..._

"Oh, fuck me." Faith groaned, finally having to roll over onto her back, sweat beading on her forehead.

"Willow, Giles! Get over here, now!" Buffy called out, rushing over to Faith's side.

"What's wrong, are you alright?" She asked, concern and worry overwhelming her.

"Your bony bitch of an elbow got me on one of the bruises." Faith gave her a shaky grin, pretending she wasn't about to turn to her side and retch.

Faith was in sweat pants, and Buffy knew rolling up the legs wouldn't do any good. She'd have to pull them off. As she teetered on the decision, the spasm in the leg and the pained moan coming from Faith's throat made the choice.

"Faith, I'm gonna have to take off your pants, okay?" She said in all seriousness, as Willow and Giles reached them with a first aid kit - magic and nonmagic.

Dimples appeared seductively on the girl's face, as she grinned up at all of them. She winked at Willow.

"Guess you were right, Red. She wants me bad."

Willow smiled as Buffy grumbled noisily and took off Faith's pants. Then Willow stopped smiling and felt sick.

More cuts, more lashes, more bruises, burns, etc. But the offending bruise that rested right above her left knee cap was hideous. Although Buffy's hit was mild, it was enough to make it hurt bad. Willow remembered the bruise when Faith first arrived. It was in the shape of a foot. As if someone had stomp-kicked her there continuously until the bruise was permanently a part of her flesh. Purplish yellow. Now it was darkened and looked as though it was throbbing against the skin. She brought out a healing ointment and muttered a healing spell as she rubbed it on soothingly. It hadn't worked before, but she hoped it would work now.

Faith continued to wince and make small noises in the back of her throat for the next couple minutes, then visibly relaxed as the numbing of the ointment settled in. She sat up quickly and grabbed at her pants.

"Thanks guys. Don't know what I'd do without ya." Pulling up her pants, she turned to Buffy.

"You still in?"

Buffy stared in shock for a moment, before crossing her arms and glaring.

"Faith, you are not going to continue sparring."

"Who the fuck made you my mom?" Still teasing, eyes glinting with mischief, fists up and ready to fight. Bouncing on the balls of her feet.

"I'm not trying to be a prick. You're hurt, and it wouldn't be fair for me to have an advantag-oomph!" Buffy's breath was taken away by a quick jab to her solar plexus again. Yep. Definitely a bruise.

Faith grinned.

"See? I'm hurt, you're hurt, no advantage. We're all evened out and shit here."

Catching her breath, and hands on her knees, Buffy glanced up quickly, body giving way to the feel of being Slayer. To the fight.

The world seemed to stop and just watch the two fight, the beauty of their movements intensified by the speed and fluid motions of their hits. Even their misses were graceful and followed through with something else, adding to the symphony of their song. As if each move was an equal and opposite reaction to the other, meeting each other at a level field, everybody else realizing and seeing the balance that arises in the way they react to one another. In some cliche way, they were made for each other, to be doing this dance and belting this song out together because nobody else in the world could harmonize in such perfect unity. And they both knew it, in their hearts, always reaching and hoping and fascinating the idea. Not only to spar and fight and talk and dance and look. But to touch and feel and fuck and love and relish in the act of being together.

Buffy landed on her back and before she could move, Faith was on top of her, honing in for the kill. Hands gripped her wrists and slammed them down, body against body, waiting for Giles to call the pin. One listening for the count of 10, while the other listened to the husky voice breathing hot air into her ear. It had all felt right up until that moment.

Something had changed, and something was very wrong.

"So tell me, does this answer your question?" Knowing somehow that Buffy would understand.

_"Think you could take me now?"_

Buffy struggled some more, trying to get out at the 4th count. But in a sudden movement Faith grabbed her by the head and slammed it against the mat to dizzy her.

"Still think I'm a fucking chicken, B?" Suddenly it sounded like a snarl.

"Faith..." Buffy started weakly. Faith's eyes flashed with a strange venom.

"Don't 'Faith' me, Buffy. You fucking bitch." Her hand coming down at an angle to strike Buffy across the face. Leaving a slight spew of blood on the dark blue.

"Ten...And the winner is Faith!" Giles' voice felt like an echo.

**Was** an echo, way back in the back of their minds. Oblivious to the world.

Buffy felt the hands on her shirt and felt herself being lifted slightly off the mat, staring deep into the eyes of Faith, pupils shrunk so small it looked like a pinpoint. And Buffy was then completely certain that something was not quite right.

"Faith, the count is done. Let me go." She tried to be firm, ignoring the taste of her blood in her mouth.

Ignoring the fear that threatened to exude from her pores.

"Answer the question first, Buffy. Am I or am I not a chicken?"

"You're not a chicken, Faith. Now let me go."

The world around them seemed to have gone silent, though Buffy could vaguely see the rest of them wondering what in the world they were talking about. Wondering why neither of them were up.

An eye twitched.

"Do you still love me, B?" Voice grating, as if about to break apart into a million pieces.

Buffy could feel her heart crack.

"Faith...I..."

_Love you..._

Wanting so much to say it, but cut off by the sound of the assembly doors opening. Faith scrambled up quickly, reaching down to help Buffy, eyes avoiding her gaze. They could hear Xander, Dawn, Anya and Kennedy murmur a soft greeting, and in response there was a loud voice that resonated throughout the room, that made Faith's head snap up in surprise.

"It's great to see you and all, but where's Faith?"

"Over there." Xander responded mildly.

"Faith, you psycho slutbomb! Where the hell are you?"

Faith stepped out of the ring, and neared the double doors, trying to make out the two new figures at the end. One came as no surprise. The other...

"Cordy?!"


	15. Chapter 15

**This one's the longest one yet. Sorry I've been MIA for what...2 days? Haha. Been a little busy with some parties and whatnot. **

**And just as a sidenote, you guys are pretty observant. Fantastical. If it was a word.  
**

**Anyways, enjoy and review.**

* * *

"Jesus, it looks you've gone a run through the mill." Cordelia Chase threw out flippantly, trying to cover up her tears with a sarcastic remark. She eyed Faith carefully, turning her around in front of her, taking in every single detail.

Faith just flashed her a classic grin and pulled her in for a spin in the air. Designer clothes and all.

"Com'ere, you!"

Cordelia shrieked, one arm hanging on for dear life and the other attempting to attack Faith with her Gucci handbag.

"Let me go, you barbarian!"

Faith let her down, eventually, and when she did, Cordelia was laughing and gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Cordelia Chase was more than ecstatic at Faith's return. Though they weren't the best of friends, they had their moments and she had to admit that Faith could keep up a witty banter up longer than anybody else she knew. Plus, the girl was hot and had a sense of style. Sure, it was slutty and extremely bad-girl type, but Faith had a way of making it hers and making it incredibly easy on the eyes. They always had fun with the shopping bit. Faith kept it on the down low, but she's a girl, and clothes shopping? Especially for a girl like Faith? It's a fun experience, finding more clothes that'll make other peoples' eyes fall out of their heads and their jaws drop to the floor.

Hot chicks with superpowers, right?

Perhaps except Buffy. Cordelia grudgingly admitted that Buffy was rather attractive, but the pastels? Not so much. And from what she's seen and heard in the last three years Faith was gone?

Fuck no.

She looked up at Angel, who was staring with teary eyes at the girl in front of them. She knew how much he'd hurt when Faith was gone and out of their lives. She remembered his astonished and incredibly boyish reaction to Willow's phone call. He literally jumped onto the airplane then and there.

"Faith..."

The name hardly left his mouth before the girl threw herself onto him, embracing the vampire she called her hero. Ignoring the fact that parts of her were bleeding, ignoring the sweat beading on her forehead, ignoring everything and everyone, just hugging and rocking a little back and forth to emphasize just how much she missed him.

"Hey Soulboy...hey...hey..." Her voice cracked a little as she held on for dear life, arms tight around his waist.

He felt a tear fall from his eyes as his wrapped his own arms around her, stroking at her sweaty hair, not really giving a shit, just unbelievably happy that she was back. That she was alive. When she'd died, he felt a part of him die. In a strange way, they were connected and nobody could quite understand each other as well as they could. He was protective of her, he considered her his own ward, his Slayer. She was his hope, if only because she was the one he helped guide through the darkness. If only because he believed in her and she believed in him and they both had fed off of the hope and redemption they longed for.

She sniffled when she pulled back, but no tears were running. She threw him a playful punch and smiled.

"Getting old, Fang. Are those wrinkles?" She made a show of poking at the skin beneath his eyes. He grunted. Sort of.

"Can't believe I missed this abuse."

"Ah you know you missed all of me. Fuck. I sure as hell missed you guys." She grinned up at him like a kid with no remorse for his/her behavior.

"I missed you, too, Faith. All of us did." He said softly. Truthfully.

Faith ignored the sad little feelings inside and changed the topic a little. Something she'd always been exceptionally good at.

"How's the L.A. scene, Angel? Hope ya guys haven't slacked off without me there to help things out."

He returned it with a small smile of his own.

"It's been pretty dull, actually. Which is why we're planning on staying here until we figure out what's wrong with you."

Faith glanced up in surprise.

"Willow filled me in. And that meeting is in 3 minutes and 38 seconds." He said, barely looking at the clock on the wall that informed him of the time.

"Ah, yes. Students, please either head back to your dormitories or you may train in the gymnasium. Do not venture in other areas of the school, else you **will **lose several privileges." Giles spoke up loudly, trying to speak over the busily talkative SiTs.

"And a body part!" Xander shouted in addition. Just for the hell of it, right? Anya shook her head and Cordelia shot him an amused look that clearly said, 'You haven't changed a bit'.

He didn't mind. And really, neither did anybody else. They wouldn't have Xander any other way.

There was hustle, there was bustle, then there was the faculty meeting room.

* * *

Faith held out her arm.

The two newest members winced at the mess of wounds, but the others gasped in surprise. Possibly also in relief.

"It's healing. Almost gone. And if nobody minds..." She didn't wait for an answer before stepping right out of her sweatpants and allowing them to see the bruise that Buffy had hit earlier.

It was less livid and shrinking.

"Again. Healing." Faith said firmly before re-pantsing herself.

"Fascinating. I do recall reading about something similar of the sort..." Giles nearly jumped up and out of his seat, disappearing into the library, which was conveniently placed next door.

"So anything you got in Hell, which is where I assume you were, won't heal here unless it's re-opened or re-hit?" Cordelia asked, almost disbelievingly. Faith could only shrug. She only knew so much.

"Basically?"

"What I don't get is why you were sent there in the first place. You died saving not only the world but the heroes, too. You saved all of us." Angel stated, speaking the minds of all the others.

"Which is why I brought her back." Willow began, and everybody turned to her.

"I couldn't be completely sure, but there was something wrong with the way Faith died. There was this feeling that just kept insisting there was something wrong."

Giles returned, having heard the rest of the conversation, with a dusty old book in his hands.

"Were the Powers attempting to reach you, Willow?"

"I don't know."

Cordelia looked a little peeved at the statement. And perhaps confused as well.

"Okay, so I was under the impression that that was my job."

Then Angel's brows furrowed in thought.

"Your visions have been slowly diminishing in time, and less clear. Which could indicate that-"

"There's something prohibiting the Powers in their work of good." Giles finished. His finger placed firmly against a page of the opened book.

"Do all of you recall when Lorne mentioned the source?"

They all nodded in response. Except for Faith, who internally cringed. She remembered alright. They all believed it was Angel they were after, and that Faith's heroic gestures stopped them from getting Angel. But she knew the truth. The tall thin man had told her exclusively that **she** was the chosen creature for the source. For what, she wasn't completely sure, but she wasn't planning on dying, either. But she did. And she went to Hell. Faith being who she was, she didn't expect to be first in line to Heaven, but she certainly didn't expect to be thrown into a part of Hell like the one she was put in.

"I thought that was old news. I thought Angel was the source, and that it was stopped thanks to Faith." Xander threw in his two cents, thumb unconsciously running over Anya's hand.

"The immediate threat was contained, yes, but if what this says is true - which I believe is very accurate - then it's possible that-"

"I'm the source." Faith spoke, looking a little dazed and feeling incredibly guilty.

Everybody stared at her for a moment, nobody knowing exactly what to say.

"Shit." Cordelia muttered.

"But you're back now, so doesn't that mean whatever they were doing **can't** be done anymore?" Kennedy asked.

"According to this passage, all they needed from Faith in death should have been taken within the first few days. Your life, your blood, the-"

"The screams of my broken soul, my tears, my body..." Faith murmured. She could recall the words being laughed in her face the very first moment she was thrown in.

"Exactly. I don't understand why they wouldn't have already...oh." Giles stopped his finger somewhere in the book and his eyes flitted up to meet hers in apology.

"My broken heart." She whispered, closing her eyes in pain.

Fuck.

"They've been fucking with me for hundreds of thousands of years, because they were missing one thing. One **fucking **thing!" She screamed as she swung around and smashed a hole in the wall.

The tension rose. She wasn't supposed to be able to do that. That wasn't supposed to happen. The walls; the whole building was meant to be Slayer-proof. Which allowed any of the girls to beat against the walls without Xander having to fix it every five seconds of the day. But here, just now, Faith simply and easily broke through. With a single punch.

Which meant what, exactly?

"Damn you! You fucking pieces of shit! Damn you!" She continued to scream towards the ceiling, fists clenched and oblivious to the rest of the world. Only focused on the two things she knew best.

Rage. Pain.

It hit them all in a wave, something like a heat stroke minus the heat and add the pain. The emotional train wreck that made them dread their feelings. Twisting everything in their hearts the way Faith's was twisting. Bombarding them with an intensity that they were afraid of. Then it was gone again, and only Willow and Kennedy understood what was happening. She was reeling in the emotions again. Slipping on that cover of control.

Turning to face the others. Eyes wild, heart pounding. Searching for the pair that used to be able to make it pound all the harder, or still it. Searching, and finding. Heart deciding not to still, but to pound harder.

"Every fucking moment in time, telling me that you never loved me, that you could never love me. That even if you did, you don't love me anymore. But it didn't work. I held on, B, and when finally I get to see the real thing again, everything's fucked." Then she whirls around to Giles.

"They're after me, Giles. I can feel them. They did something to me, put something inside me, and I don't know what it is. But I can feel it."

"It's meant to bring out your evil, Faith. That's the last thing they need. They didn't need just your broken heart, but they also need your guilt, your darkness, to act as a spark. Here: 'And with the sacrifice of the source's darkness, He shall arise and come forth again to reign upon the world in vast terror, and the source will be drained of all; its only purpose then to be thrown into the Pit and be gone forever.' The reason your wounds refuse to heal is because you were on a different plane. A different dimension. They cannot heal unless they occurred here."

"That doesn't make sense. That's never happened before." Willow said knowingly. This was completely new.

"Yes, well, those were meant to drain her of her energy, to make it easier for them to coax the darkness to take over her. In a rather strange sense, it can be paralleled to the way a vampire with a soul is constructed. Only in this case, they cannot pull her soul out, otherwise there would be nothing. Within a human, they must destroy the good and leave the bad. And where Faith was sent, those wounds were left for a different purpose than to hurt her. They were meant to prevent recuperation." Giles closed the book with a thud and pinched the bridge of his nose delicately, wanting badly for a hot cup of tea.

"Fuck this." Faith growled and stomped out before they could stop her.

Angel exchanged looks with Cordelia, who gave him a brief nod and followed her out. The vampire then scooted forward in the chair and rested his elbows professionally on the gathering table. Ready to get down to business.

"How do we stop this, Giles? Anything you know of out the top of your head?"

"It seems that it's already bringing forth her 'bad' side effectively, and under the assumption that her heart is already broken-" He shot a stern glance at Buffy, who visibly wilted.

"All they need now is to take her and perform an incantation to fuel this so-called evil into coming forth. Then she will be thrown into the Pit, and 'gone forever'." He sighed and sat down himself, pulling off his glasses to be cleaned once again.

"Stopping it is a matter of healing her, and to destroy the creature of evil itself. It will still be in a weakened state, not fully resurrected. They need Faith to complete it. We will need to research some more. We must find the magics needed to counteract the wounds, and we must keep an eye on Faith; we may even need to find a way to contain her, for they've placed something demonic within her that allows her darkness to break through with incredible power." He sighed again, closing his eyes and rubbing on his temples.

"Goodness, what will they think of next? Torture her to keep her goodness weak, give her demonic strength to power up her evil. Rather oxymoronic, isn't it?"

"Sounds like your typical demons." Anya stated as-a-matter-of-factly. She would know.

Consequently, she was disgusted by it.

"I shall contact the Council, Willow, you would see fit to contact the Coven."

Willow nodded and immediately stood to do so.

"I'll start on weapons." Xander spoke up, releasing Anya's hand to push himself out of his chair as well. Anya remained sitting. Contemplating.

"I guess I can ask around the demon network. God knows they'll have **some** information."

"I'll let the other girls know." Kennedy said before she moved out the door. Always in a hurry, and always ready for a fight.

"I'm placing a call back to L.A. See if they know anything at all." Angel also left, his cloak slightly billowing out behind him.

"Very well. Buffy-" Giles stared long and hard at his Slayer.

He was going to say that she would do well to fixate her issues immediately before the world went to gloom and doom, but he saw the sorrow plainly written across her face. And Giles being the fatherly figure as he was, he had to make certain.

"Are you alright?"

She flashed him a slight smile of gratitude for not pushing aggressively. With a sigh the smile disappeared and so did her face as she placed her hands over it. Willow, Xander, and Anya were still there, watching her carefully. Waiting for her face to reappear, which it did.

"I'm sorry." She said.

"You're sorry?" Willow echoed. Buffy's eyes pleaded.

"I know it sounds so stupid now, Wills, but I am. I really-"

_Knock._

Just one knock and in entered James.

"Hey babe, is the meeting over?"

Buffy saw the openness of her friends' eyes turn cold and angry as they waited for her next move.

"No James, it's not over. Will you please close the door behind you?" She asked politely, hardly giving him a glance.

"Sure, I just wanted to ask if you-"

"Not now, James." She interrupted him, now giving him a glare that could chip paint of the walls. He opened his mouth to say something in return, but thought better of it. He just shut the door and they heard his footsteps walk away.

She turned back to her friends, who seemed rather pleased at the turn of events.

"I know I've been slacking with everything. I just wanted to apologize to the faculty for that. Especially to you, Giles, it wasn't fair of me."

Oh. They were hoping for more of a personal apology, but they figured an apology was an apology. This was Buffy, it wasn't like they could refuse to accept her sorry.

Well, Anya would, but Xander had already given her a look that said, 'don't say a word'. Normally she wouldn't oblige, but right now they were focused on Faith's recovery.

"Apology accepted, Buffy. Now I suggest you figure out some way to assist in our endeavors?" Giles asked, completely snapping back into business.

"Yep. Ready to assist. I'll um...go see Faith." Buffy said, standing up.

"Are you sure that's a good idea, Buff? She's already kind of not happy with you." Xander stated, forgetting to mention that the whole school was rather unhappy with her. Or just choosing not to mention.

"That's a rather large understatement." Anya said flippantly. She couldn't resist.

"Cordelia's gonna need all the help she can get if we want to contain her. Faith might have an upperhand now, but I've been doing this longer." She replied confidently.

Buffy inwardly wasn't sure she could, but it didn't quite matter. She mainly just wanted to see Faith.

Needed to see her.


	16. Chapter 16

**You guys give the best reviews. Oh and in response to Mac, I understand. Several people have mentioned the fact that Buffy seems to be almost antagonistic in this particular series. I try to not to make too intense, but it just seems to turn out that way. This is also because the story is more Faith-based than anything, and in her case, Buffy usually makes the issue; her obstacle, so to speak. Thank you for the review, and I hope you continue to enjoy my story. **

**That goes for the rest of you wonderous reviewers. You guys keep me motivated. I accept your cookies and fruitbaskets with a big smile on my face. And hugs. For all of you. **

**Enjoy and review.**

* * *

Cordelia's POV

Honestly. The girl walks faster than I can run.

"Faith!" I call out.

And of course, she ignores me. What the hell is it with her and brooding? Angel does it too, and God knows that's enough for a lifetime.

"Faith! I have my good shoes on!" I snap.

Cause I do. These are **one** of my fancy pairs; I wear it for special occasions, and I thought today - seeing a friend who came back to life - would be a good time to bring them out. They're black, slim, sexy high heels. Strappy, of course. I wouldn't be caught dead in closed-toes until the season was right. Besides-oomph!

Oh. She stopped.

"Geez, Cor. Clumsy much?" She smirks.

I in turn, roll my beautifully mascara-ed eyes.

"Sorry, I was busy worrying about my shoes."

She looks down and back up, giving me a wink of approval.

"They're sexy. I guess it's not closed-toe season yet."

You have to hand it to her. The girl knows me.

I shake my head and laugh, reaching to hook arms with her. Then we walk. To wherever we're walking. I have no idea where we are. Somewhere in the hallway.

"Gonna head to the training room. I gotta blow off some of this steam." She says, stepping surely beside me, guiding me around.

I've missed her, I won't lie. She's a hell of a lot of fun to be around, and - surprisingly enough - a great friend. Has a bit of a mood swing problem, but I'm a girl. I can certainly handle those. Angel can tell you I have enough of them. Not that he should complain. Like I said, the brooding? Ha. He definitely can **not** be complaining.

"So. Other than the whole source-of-evil and Buffy making horrid choices, how are you?"

She gives me a bemused look. Well, I had to ask.

"There isn't much other than that." She shrugs.

"Well do you want to talk about it?" I know what she's gonna say. She's gonna say,

"Nothing to talk about."

Puh-lease. I'm a master face-reader, and she's more troubled than a mother with a missing child. Under the circumstance that the mother cares.

"Oh come off it, Faith. The whole 'I'm-too-cool-to-care' thing doesn't work on me, remember?"

"Yea, I know."

That's it? No extra tidbits for me to work with? This girl is impossible.

"You're impossible."

"Yea, I know."

"Do you know where you're going?"

"Yea, I know."

What, is she stuck on repeat?

"Is there some sort of broken record conspiracy here? Angel was doing the same thing on the plane ride." I stop, cross my arms and give her what I consider my stern gaze.

She just returns it with a half grin and keeps walking.

"Gym's right over here."

Slayers. Absolutely impossible.

We make it to the training room, and there are a lot of other girls here, including Faith's little protege. Kennedy, I think her name is. We haven't spoken much to each other, but I suppose she's alright. Fashion disaster, but that seems to run in the Slayer line.

"Sit tight, Queen C. I'm gonna show these wannabes how a real Slayer trains." She winks and saunters over to a punching bag.

I find it rather funny that she looks like a walking punching bag herself, and yet still manages to walk and talk. While being sexy. Not as amazingly as I can, but she's still very good at keeping up appearances. A couple hundred scars and open wounds or not.

I pull up a folding chair and watch her work out. All the students stop and do the same, some sitting down on the mats or just leaning against the walls. Faith is completing a combination of kicks when I feel a hand on my shoulder. I look up, and it's that girl, Kennedy. She nods her head towards the doors. I quirk an eyebrow, but I follow her out anyway. I can always watch Faith through the big glass windows.

"Listen, I'm really glad you're here. Faith needs all the friends she can get." And she starts pacing.

"I do what I can." Because I do. Angel thought the same thing, and I insisted that I came.

"I know you're all filled in about Faith's Hell situation, but do you know about what happened with Buffy?" She asks, peering into my eyes, as if trying to read me.

I don't think so, darling.

"No. Care to fill me in?" All I know is that Buffy has horrible tastes in human men. I mean, yes, Angel and Spike had some sort of physical merit.

They just so happen to be vampires, is all.

Way to go, Buffy.

I heard about Riley. I was even shown a couple pictures. I remember asking blatantly if his diet was made up of beef and steroids.

And now this James character. I met him some time ago, when we all worked together for some nasty little demon about 6-7 months ago. I thought he had potential with looks. I was half impressed with Buffy. That was until he opened his mouth to talk.

Unbearable was one word for it.

Really fucking dead was the phrase for it. I was half afraid and half hopeful that Gunn or Connor was going to snap his head into two. Angel might've, but he wasn't present much. Busy on the field than inside the building. I was just waiting for the bloodshed to start.

It didn't, obviously, seeing that James is still alive and a cause of Faith's pain. Which means Angel **will** probably end up killing him this time. I know Angel. I've been working with him for years. I've known him a little longer. He has such a huge soft spot for Faith. I mean, he had it bad for Buffy, and we all know about that tragic romance bullshit. But with Faith, it's like...he really gets her, and she really gets him. There's an understanding there that just can't be compared to anybody else's connection. And not even Buffy can get in the way of that.

I'd feel a little bad for her, if she wasn't such a brat.

"Yea, well. I wouldn't feel bad for her at all." Kennedy says.

Oops. I must've said that out loud.

"So basically she's been a jerk. To Faith." Yes, I'd been listening. And thinking other thoughts at the same time.

I can do that. One of my many talents is to multi-task.

"In short, yes."

"Fan-fucking-tastic, Buffy. Make a bad situation worse, why don't you." I mutter under my breath, watching Faith train vigorously.

She looks amazing. If there was one smart choice Buffy made in her love life, it was allowing herself to love Faith. Because nobody could have ever loved her like Faith loved her. And still, nobody can love her like Faith does. I know she does. You can see it in everything they do. Even back in the meeting room, Faith was so angry, so enraged - we know because all of us felt it - but there was still so much love. I'm almost jealous. And like I said, Faith looks good. No matter if she's sweating and a walking cat-scratch. She won't listen to people when they tell her no. She's all, 'I can do what I want, bitches'. So of course nobody can stop her. Nobody would dare to. Not even Angel.

Thing about Faith is, she puts her whole self into this Slaying business. Buffy has a confidence and passion in her Slaying, even I know that, and from what I hear about Kendra, she was more precise and cold. Faith, well...she's almost got too much feeling. She throws herself into it, as if it's the very last battle she's going to fight. Everything is graceful but has a hint of desperation behind it, as if she needs something and can't find it. I wonder what it is that she's looking for. Somehow, I don't even think she knows.

"Wow." I hear a whisper.

I thought it was Kennedy, but she stiffens in my peripheral so I turn and there's,

"Oh. It's you."

Buffy gives me an irritated look.

Whatever, sweetheart. I'm the irritated one.

"Yes, Cordy. It **is** me, thank you for noting it."

Excuse me?

"You're lucky I didn't note your terrible choice in outfit. Wait. I just did."

"Ha ha. What, are we nine all of a sudden?"

"No, that would be you." I say before turning back to watch Faith give some of the younger girls some tips.

She's good with them, surprisingly enough.

"Listen, Cordelia. Kennedy. I know you're both angry with me, but I just wanted to say that I'm sorry."

Even I'm cringing in my head. Is she just not on the top of her game? Saying sorry to me and Kennedy? Bad idea.

If it was Angel and I, that'd be a different story. You have one willing listener, which would be Angel, and one who's just going to pretend like she doesn't exist, which would clearly be me.

But if I've got Kennedy down right, then now, Buffy has one protective and angry Slayer and one incredibly sarcastic - and well groomed - me.

I guess I'll give her the benefit of the doubt and just not turn around.

Kennedy won't be doing the same.

"Sorry. You're sorry." Kennedy has a disbelieving quality in her voice that can't be ignored.

"Yes. I'm sorry." Buffy says firmly. Confidently.

That's the best way, sometimes.

Before Kennedy can say anything I turn back around to face her. I hope she's getting the unamused look in my eyes.

"Don't apologize to us, Buffy, and expect forgiveness until you've gotten it from Faith."

"I-"

"Is that what you were going in there for? To apologize to her? Or just to make it clearer that you're not hers anymore? Which is it, Buffy? Because neither of us are letting you in if it's only meant to hurt her."

Yes, I can be pretty damn frightening when I want to be. And not just to Xander Harris and Willow Rosenberg.

I can make threats at Buffy Summers, too.

"I need to talk to her, Cordy." She says softly.

"I wouldn't want to hurt her any more than she's already hurting. Slayer's honor."

I don't know if that's good enough, but I'll give it a try. Faith might need it.

Kennedy doesn't want to budge, but I give her a nod. We step aside and let her in.

Buffy, don't you dare disappoint us all now.

* * *

Faith's POV

I see the figure walking towards me as I relate a few of my battle stories to the awed girls before me. Girls as young as 9 years old to girls as old as 20. It's a little strange, but I guess there have been stranger things that have happened to me.

So I continue to speak, because I don't want my eyes to dart towards that figure. Don't want to know that it exists. Because as far as I'm concerned, it shouldn't. Everything that makes you feel pain? You gotta destroy it, or just pretend it doesn't exist. Otherwise it'll drive you crazy.

I figure I've already tried one of those options. It didn't end up so well. So I'm trying the other.

"Faith?"

Damn it, Buffy. I'm doing my best to ignore you here.

"What up, B?"

"We need to talk."

I brush a sweaty strand of hair from my eyes.

"Well it's a good thing we're talking, then, huh?"

A laugh ripples through the crowd of girls, most of them looking surprised that I was defying **the** Buffy Summers.

Get used to it, kiddies. The world is mine to defy.

"Faith, can we not do this in front of the girls?" She's giving me her stern look.

I just cross my arms and grin.

"Why, you afraid there's gonna be some anarchy in Slayer Camp? Hell, I wanna sign up!"

Another round of giggles.

"It's not anarchy I'm worried about. I just don't want to spread our personal business out in public."

"What personal business, B? You've made it clear there's nothing personal about us." I'm bitter. Cold. Harsh.

"Faith, please." She does that pouty thing she does when she doesn't get what she wants.

Fuck me, I still fall for it.

I roll my eyes and throw up my hands in exasperation and walk towards an empty room adjacent to the gym.

Weak and pathetic. That's me.

Faith: 0, The Buffy Pout: 23482950810.

Give or take a couple thousand.

She closes the door behind her and I lean against the wall with my arms crossed again.

"So what can I do ya for, B?"

"I wanted to apologize, Faith."

"For what?"

"For...hurting you."

What, she can't just say it? Fine. I'll say it for her.

"You mean, for breaking my surprisingly human heart?"

She looks a little surprised that I admitted it.

Listen, Twinks. Everybody already fucking knows. No use pretending you didn't.

"I...yea."

I just give her a nice fake smile and use that tone of cheeriness I know she knows is unreal.

"S'alright, B. Dating you...I was pretty much asking for it, huh?"

There's a wave of hurt that goes across her face. Before she gets angry.

"Faith, I'm just trying to do the right thing here."

"The right thing for who? **You**? Cause telling me sorry for breaking my heart doesn't feel right."

She doesn't say anything. What's she gonna say, that I'm wrong?

"You think coming in here, saying sorry, then just walking right out is gonna leave everything dandy, Buffy? You wanna make things right, you either tell me you want me, too, or you just leave me the fuck alone so that I can forget you fucking exist."

"Ignoring the problem doesn't make it go away, Faith."

"Yea, well you know all about that, don't you?"

She flushes with anger and turns to leave but my next statement stops her.

"You never answered my question."

She turns back.

"What-"

"**Do** you still love me, Buffy?"

Her eyes are glistening with tears.

"I don't know what to say...What am I supposed to say to that?" She whispers hoarsely.

I step closer and cup her face with my hands. I want to kiss her so badly.

God, I love her.

So much that it hurts.

"Just tell me the truth."

Her eyes close and squeeze out those tears.

I think my heart stops.

"Please...I need to know." I beg softly.

**I need to know. **

Because if she doesn't, then I need to start moving on. I need to start working on forgetting so that I don't feel this hurt all the fucking time.

And if she does...

Then I know I still have her. Then I can start mending this hurt. Mending it properly.

"Faith..."

I wait for her answer.


	17. Chapter 17

**Again, loving your guys' reviews. Keep them coming. They're helpful, to say the least. So. I know I have this bad habit of leaving you guys with cliffhangers...**

**Enjoy and review. Muahaha.**

* * *

Buffy's POV (of the encounter in the room)

"So what can I do ya for, B?" Her arms are crossed and she's leaned against the wall.

Looking beautiful, as always.

Bad Buffy, don't think about it. Focus on the task before you.

"I wanted to apologize, Faith."

"For what?"

For breaking your heart. For being such a dumbass about everything.

For everything.

"For...hurting you." I say instead.

I don't know why, I just can't bring myself to be specific about it. She knows what I mean, though.

"You mean, for breaking my surprisingly human heart?"

Yes, that.

"I...yea."

She gives me a fake smile, and I can hear behind that false cheery tone.

"S'alright, B. Dating you...I was pretty much asking for it, huh?"

Oh. That hurts me a lot, but I suppose I can't help but channel that into anger.

Because it's true, isn't it? Everyone I date, I end up hurting. Why is it that I end up the biggest heartbreaker in the history of love?

"Faith, I'm just trying to do the right thing here."

"The right thing for who? **You**? Cause telling me sorry for breaking my heart doesn't feel right."

I can't say anything in response to that.

I can't tell her that she's wrong, because she's being honest. And because again, she's right.

I thought apologizing to her would make things alright again.

As if the word "sorry" has a way of fixing everything, when you know that it doesn't fix a damn thing.

"You think coming in here, saying sorry, then just walking right out is gonna leave everything dandy, Buffy? You wanna make things right, you either tell me you want me, too, or you just leave me the fuck alone so that I can forget you fucking exist."

"Ignoring the problem doesn't make it go away, Faith." I tell her.

"Yea, well you know all about that, don't you?"

I can feel myself redden, and I have to leave.

I turn away.

"You never answered my question."

I don't know why, but that makes me turn around.

"What-"

"**Do** you still love me, Buffy?"

Oh God. Faith...

Don't ask me that.

But it's too late, isn't it? She's already asked me, and I don't know what the hell I'm supposed to say.

What I even **want** to say.

It's too dangerous.

"I don't know what to say...What am I supposed to say to that?" I whisper hoarsely.

She steps closer to me, and I feel her hands around my face.

So soft, so firm. I want to lean into them; entrust my whole into them, because I know they're true.

They've been true. To me. To me and her. To **us.**

Unlike me.

I look into her eyes and I see all that love is still there.

God, I love her.

I never stopped loving her.

"Just tell me the truth."

I close my eyes and let the tears fall.

How did this happen?

"Please...I need to know." She pleads.

I can feel my heart crumble and lay open the answer.

Revealing to me what I already know. What I always knew.

"Faith..." I pause.

Then I let myself go into the love that has always been for her.

A Faithful love.

* * *

Narrative

Faith felt the lips on hers before she could register it into her mind.

The hands in her hair, the face cupped in her hands, the scent of Buffy entering her senses...

Her own hands roamed from face to neck to waist, pulling the body closer. Needing it to be closer.

Faith pushed forward until Buffy's back hit the door, and Faith pressed against her with fiery passion, lips caressing Buffy's. Then traveling to her cheeks, her jaw, her neck, stopping at the soft spot between the jaw and the ear, the warm air from her breaths sending shivers down Buffy's spine. Buffy's body reveling in the act, sending messages to Buffy's brain that screamed, 'YES!' That this was it. This is what it had been waiting for all these years. Waiting for Faith, and Faith only, because who else is needed?

Certainly not James.

Suddenly the tables were turned as Faith was slammed into the door, and Buffy was all over her neck. Faith moaned. This felt so right. Forget everything and everyone else. This was all that mattered. All the hurt being eased by the lips of the blonde Slayer she was so in love with. The pain inflicting hands suddenly healing her as they traveled along her sides like they were meant to. Making her feel more alive than she ever felt since she was brought back from the Hell she thought she would never leave.

Buffy pulled back with pants.

Before those shining eyes and smiling lips gazed up at Faith.

"Does...does that answer your question?" She asked breathlessly.

"Very much so." Faith replied, trying to catch her own breath. She could hardly believe it.

"Wow." She said.

"That pretty much covers it." Buffy said, with a nervous giggle.

She felt giddy. Was that wrong of her? It hardly felt wrong at all. It mostly felt right. It felt perfect. It **was** perfect.

"You're engaged." Faith spoke suddenly, the dazed tone dropping quickly into a more serious tone. She moved away from the wall, stuffing her hands into her pockets, looking a little awkward.

"I'm not gonna get in the middle of that. Not until there's nothing to get in the middle of, B."

Because as much as she hated James and wanted him gone, she knew she couldn't do that. To anyone. There was a time in her life when that wouldn't have been an issue, when she would've gotten in between a couple just to spite the fact that they could love and that she couldn't, but it was different after she reformed. She knew how to love better. Without the violence. A sudden awakening of the morals she had beaten out of her as a child. Perhaps a reawakening. Either way, she refused to do that.

Especially because she had doubts. She wanted Buffy to be sure that she wanted to be with Faith, otherwise the engagement could be ruined and Buffy would end up blaming Faith for messing up her life...again.

Although Buffy would never do such a thing, Faith didn't know that. At least, she wasn't sure of it. Only if because of her insecurities. And those were never going to fade, no matter how many times Angel, Kennedy, Cordelia, Willow, etc. ever tried to explain that she was good. That she was not a fuck-up. All her insecurities had been sown early, and were inculcated to last. Watered and raised and harvested by the very people that were supposed to love her. Fueled by the people she met along the way, and even by most of the people she cared for now. Even Buffy.

Especially Buffy.

"There was never anything you could've gotten in the middle of."

"Well that's reassuring, but-"

"I know." Buffy said softly. She gave Faith a small smile.

"And you're right."

"I am?"

They laughed.

"Yes, you are. It's just...three years, and it's been so hard. **So** fucking hard."

Faith's lips quirked a little at the curse and Buffy's face turned slightly red.

"Hard without the good fucking, you mean?"

"Smartass." Buffy replied indignantly.

Faith patted her behind lovingly.

"It's **your** smart ass, B. Don't be hating." She grinned.

Buffy had to return it with a lovely smile. Nearing Faith, she wrapped her arms around Faith's waist and held her close, head resting against her shoulder, facing inwards toward her neck. Her hot breath made Faith's skin tingle and she responded by embracing the blonde with her own two arms, one hand playing absentmindedly with her soft hair. Buffy lifted her head a little bit, and leaned up with her lips slightly parted.

"I missed you." Buffy murmured into her ear.

Faith's heart nearly exploded from her chest. She closed her eyes a little and allowed herself a satisfied smile.

"Feels like I've been waiting my whole life for you to say that, B."

Buffy smiled against Faith's neck.

"It feels like I've wasted my whole life just to tell you so, Faith."

"Well isn't that cute?"

Buffy felt herself being dragged away from Faith's embrace, whose eyes jerked open in surprise. Then they narrowed.

"Thought you weren't interested in getting in between me and my fiancee here, you bitch." James stood, gripping Buffy's arm in one hand, and a strange looking contraption in the other.

It almost looked like...

A gun.

_Shit._

"Whoa. Dude, just calm down."

"I'll calm down once you're gone." He said, gun jerking a little in the air.

Faith quickly scanned the area outside the window with her peripheral. Strangely enough, nobody was there. She wondered just exactly how long her and Buffy had been in the room.

"James, what are you doing?!" Buffy finally allowed the images to register and pulled her arm from his grasp.

He didn't turn to look at her, his face only turned more livid, gun shaking in his hand.

"Funny that there's nobody out there, huh? I had to pull a few strings to make it happen. Strings that were happy to oblige. I **am** making the extra-special delivery."

Faith met his gaze evenly, her eyes boring into his, finding the answer she was looking for. She moved with incredible speed to knock the gun from his hand, but he'd already pulled the trigger. Slayer speed, as fast as it could be, was still no match for the speed of a bullet.

If that was what it was.

She heard a scream, saw a flash, and no more.


	18. Chapter 18

**Haha. Your responses to that particular cliffhanger were...fantabulous. Kind of. Anyways, there's not much of a cliffhanger here, but I think this chapter's gonna frustrate you. But you know...we'll see. **

**Enjoy and review, my sweets. Things are about to get hopping!  
**

* * *

"She's gone!"

"...blood, everywhere!"

"What do you mean, she's gone?"

"Oh my God! Help!"

"Sound the alarms, quickly!"

"Where is she?!"

* * *

**Flashback**

He assumed it was going to happen. He just had a hunch.

_"Jealous, mortal?" _

It was the voice again, the voice that made his skin crawl.

_"I can make her yours forever."_

It hissed, somewhere in the very depths of his mind.

"How?" He responded, without even realizing he did. As if something made him speak.

_"Bring me the other one, and the rest will fall into place." _

He nodded without question, and moved himself step by step to the closet, where in the very back there was a stack of old shoeboxes. He was searching for only one. The one on the bottom left; gray with the white tag peeling off the front. He lifted the lid off and reached for the heavy handle of the gun. His fingers felt cold and unfamiliar as he loaded it, bullet by bullet. At long last, he felt himself move from his room to the next, down the stairs, out the door, into the school, to the gym, all with a small smirk on his face.

"You can't come in here." Kennedy spoke with a glare.

"There's an emergency down in the lobby, Giles needs you guys pronto." He lied easily, gun stuffed in the back of his jeans.

They gave him a strange look. Kennedy buzzed on the intercom to Giles' office, but there was no answer. She glanced at Cordelia nervously, who shrugged. After instructing the girls to head to their dorms, they briskly marched off towards the lobby. He pretended to walk off, but doubled back around and pushed his way into the gym. Trekking his way to one of the rooms. The one that had his girl in the arms of another.

_"Shoot her, and take her out back."_

What about Buffy? He wondered.

_"We'll take care of it."_

"Okay." He muttered.

"Okay."

He pulled the gun from the back of his pants and stepped in.

"Well isn't that cute?"

* * *

**Present**

"What do you mean, you don't remember?!"

Buffy cringed at the accusation in Cordelia's voice.

"I don't...I don't know, I just can't remember." She massaged her temples with her fingers, trying her best to recall what happened.

"You walked in to talk to Faith, after you said your whole 'I-won't-hurt-Faith', Slayer's honor thing! Nobody even saw you come out! And you're saying you **woke** up in bed not-" Cordelia glanced at her hand-made watch designed and imported directly from Sweden.

"Ten minutes ago?!"

"Well...yes." Buffy couldn't give a less satisfying answer.

But to her defense, she honestly couldn't give any more of a satisfying answer, either. The blonde just didn't remember what happened. There was something important, but nothing was popping up. The last thing she remembered somewhat clearly was asking Faith to talk. Needing to apologize. But after that...it was all a haze. A big fat fucking blur in her memory that wasn't playing out correctly, and the next thing she recalled was waking up beside an equally confused James and hearing the alarms blaring in the hallways.

Faith was gone. And she was injured. That was all they had.

And they were lucky to even know that.

Cordelia and Kennedy had run into Giles on their way down to the lobby, and after finding out that they hadn't been needed at all, something rang uneasily in their minds. They rushed back to the gym, where the lights were all shut down, with the exception of one flickering near the room they'd seen Buffy and Faith walk into. What they couldn't see from the outside of the gym, they finally saw once they walked in closer. The flickering light revealed a splatter on the wall and a trail on the floor that contrasted the colors greatly. Cordelia had stumbled and leaned against the wall for support, Kennedy immediately dropped to her knees, eyes closed in agony, and Giles, who had come in a few minutes later, could only stutter in shock.

Blood. Everywhere.

"You told us there was a meeting. You **fucking** liar!" Kennedy leapt at James, clutching at his throat with an animalistic fury.

He gurgled as she held him against the wall, teeth grit and fingers clenching tighter as the seconds ticked by. By her books (and by many others), he deserved to die. She felt herself being pulled away.

"Kennedy! Leave him alone!" Buffy flung her off, placing herself between them and her fiance, who rubbed at his sore neck in absolute confusion.

"What the hell was that for?" He asked. Rather stupidly.

"You lied, you motherfucker. You told me and Cordy that there was a meeting with Giles pronto. What the fuck did you do to her?!" Kennedy cried out the last part in desperation, the terror at not knowing what was happening to her best friend killing her.

"I don't know what you're talking about." He replied, eyes clouded with dumbness.

Willow saw it. So did Giles.

She held her girlfriend tightly, trying to soothe her, while he spoke in order to contain any chaos.

"It seems, Kennedy, that James doesn't recall any of this. Therefore-"

"I don't care if he doesn't remember, Giles. He was a part of it, whether he knows it or not." Kennedy spat angrily.

Cordelia had to agree. She stepped forward, beautifully manicured finger pointing just as bitterly.

"If Faith dies, I will have no regrets whatsoever in killing your complacently idiotic fiance, Buffy."

Anya found the time to step up beside her. Although they were rather wary of each other, they had made their peace and assured themselves to be friendly acquaintances.

"And I'll be lending her my torture devices." She stated frankly, arms crossed defiantly.

"Whoa whoa. Let's not jump to conclusions, here." James said, holding up his hands.

"Where's the jumping? There's no jumping here. We're merely stating the fact that your point of view must've upped and ran off into the distance, cause nobody's seeing it." Xander replied coldly, any humor in his statement lost beneath his concern for Faith and her well-being.

"Well the last time that happened, Xander, a whole bunch of our girls were ambushed and in danger of dying! Or am I the only one who remembers that?" Buffy wasn't saying this in order to belittle Faith.

The outburst had nothing to do with Faith at all. She was only upset that they would doubt her words. Hadn't she apologized earlier? She was being completely serious about working harder, going back to the Slayer she used to be. Besides, Buffy was worried for Faith, too. A lot more worried than they thought. Than any of them even knew. Than she even thought she knew.

"Wake up, Buffy! You are not a child anymore!" Angel's voice reverberated through the hallway, and surprised everybody around them in the process.

Angel was known for his calm. For his peace and ability to be the voice of reason in every situation. But right now he was not in the mood. Why? Because it had everything to do with Faith. He'd lost Faith once, and he did not find it in his unbeating heart to handle losing her again.

"Stop acting like the spoilt brat I left in Sunnydale all those years ago and grow back up, because we don't need bratty Buffy, we need the Slayer Buffy."

James shoved Angel clumsily, as if trying to make some sort of stand.

"Don't talk to my girl that way."

Angel's eyes flashed and his face contorted into his vampiric features; something that only happened when he was angry or in dire situations. With a single hand he lifted James up by the collar and threw him across the room. A deed that Faith would've slapped his back (in laughter) for.

If she was here.

"Keep your fucking dog under a leash, before I bring mercy upon this world and rid it of his miserable existence." He growled deeply, and his threat made everyone's blood freeze.

This wasn't Angelus. They knew it wasn't Angelus, because Angelus was too much of a dick to get particularly angry about James' idiotic move. He would've killed him then and there. But that was Angelus. This was Angel. They knew it was Angel, because that voice wasn't Angelus' joking tones or his smooth-talking jibes. It was Angel, with the soul, raw and extremely tense. And ridiculously angry. Willing to take risks that had small percentage of working if it meant finding Faith.

Saving her.


	19. Chapter 19

**I can feel the intensity of your reviews through the computer screen. So...recap: Faith is gone, Buffy and the crew have no flipping idea where the hell she is or how she went missing. And now...**

**Enjoy and review!**

* * *

**Somewhere**

He pitied her.

He was under the guise as only a simple slave now, someone to do the bidding of the higher power. But he was allowed to feel. As long as he kept it to himself.

And he pitied her.

He turned away when they brought her in, because his own vampire senses begged to drink the blood that was spilt and staining her clothes and the bedding they dragged her in by.

He cast his eyes downwards when he was forced to strap her in tight, into the metal casings that were made to bind her upright to the damned contraption. He couldn't bear looking at her beautiful face, in fear he'd break.

Because he knew he'd soon see it scarred.

And burned.

And bloodied.

And destroyed.

He wanted nothing more than to break her free and to whisk her away to a place where she would be safe again.

But he knew he had to wait.

He had to wait until the time was right, otherwise the whole purpose of his being would be ruined.

He served, if only to delay her second - irreversable - death.

If only to gather enough information to take it to those who could save her.

Oh yes, he pitied her.

If only because in her state, she cried out a single name that sent shivers down his undead back.

"Buffy..."

* * *

**The next night**

"How is that memory spell working, Willow?" Giles asked as he walked in from the library, bringing in another stack of books to add to the pile that the others were picking from.

"Not so successfully. I mean, if I had the time, which I don't..." The redhead sighed in response, hands dropping into her lap in frustration.

"And no luck from the L.A. crew?" Xander questioned hopefully towards Angel, who returned from his nightly search for information with the demon populace.

His face was cold and hard, colder than the rain that dripped from his hair and from his clothes. He shook his head slightly, jaw clenched visibly. His fist was itching to slam into something. He supposed the gym would help, but they could hardly scrub all the blood off the walls. Her blood. God, he knew the scent. Almost too well, and he had never wanted to see her blood ever again, but it was there. Staining the clean white walls and the blue mats on the floor. Staining as best as Faith could ever stain anything. She always thought of herself as one. It was rather fitting that it was her blood that stained this place.

He moved to sit, propping his elbows on his knees, face in his hands.

"It's only been one day. Just remember that." Xander said, trying to up the mood a little in that way that he did. Trying to be positive.

"Let's not forget that someone can be killed in less than one second." Was Anya's gloomy response, her eyes already drooping from the amount of books she'd forced herself to read.

"She's not dead." A voice murmured softly, and they saw Buffy standing in the doorway.

She'd been helping with the research, but away from the group, if only to keep the awkwardness from growing. To keep the tension from mounting higher.

"I'd know if she was." She finishes.

"Well that's the best news I've heard all day." Willow smiled a little, letting her best friend know that there were no completely hard feelings.

From her, at least. Xander's eyes told her the same. Buffy appreciated them greatly, and felt guilt for her past and recent choices. But now was not the time to break down. She knew that.

"Perhaps the best thing we can do now is to retire. We've been researching all day and now we are in need of rest. We shall reconvene tomorrow morning promptly and reassess our situation."

"Uh, English, Giles? Maybe you'd like to try it sometime?"

"Isn't that what he was speaking, Xander? Or are you going deaf, too?"

"No, I just...never mind, An. Let's go."

Xander and Anya left, squabbling a little between themselves. Cordelia also took her leave, hardly giving any of them a single glance as she stepped out. Giles nodded briefly towards them, and locked up the library as he headed towards his room in the school. Kennedy looked to Willow, who flashed her a cute smile and mouthed, 'Later'. She returned the smile and left with Dawn accordingly. Angel, who got up quickly, just grunted a,

"I'm going out for more information."

And left only Willow and Buffy.

Two best friends with a rather pressed friendship.

"I...I guess I better go, too. Night, Will." Buffy turned to depart, when she felt the gentle hand on her arm.

"Buffy, do you want to talk?"

When Buffy hesitantly turned around, she saw the warmth and care in Willow's eyes that she hadn't seen for a long time, and all Buffy could do was begin to cry.

"Oh, Buffy!" Willow said comfortingly, bringing her blonde best friend into her arms, hugging her tight.

"You know, we should have a sleepover tonight, Buff. We haven't had one of those in a while, huh?" She stated cheerily, however false, in order to perk up the mood.

Willow wasn't dumb. She had seen the worry and the complete shock in Buffy's eyes when she was told that Faith was missing. She had seen the horror and fear that struck her best friend when they all had gone to check out the room in the gym. Buffy had excused herself hurrily, and Willow followed in concern. When she walked into the restroom, she could hear Buffy throwing up and sobbing in one of the stalls. She backed out immediately, knowing that the Slayer would need her space. She knew that as much as Buffy hesitated to admit it, she needed Faith.

Hell, they all did.

Buffy nodded tearfully, wiping her face on her sleeves. Pastel, and covering. It had made Willow's heart leap for joy earlier that day.

"God, I'm all snotty and nasty." Buffy said, looking a little embarrassed.

"Don't be silly. We wouldn't have you any other way."

Buffy snorted.

"Lies."

Willow giggled a bit before leading her out and back towards the house. Kennedy had gotten the look and left to go spend the night hanging out with Dawn, calm her down and such, since Dawn had been a little less than a ball of hysteria once she found out about Faith's disappearance. She handed Buffy a towel and a change of clothes.

"You can take the first shower. I'll go get us some nightly munchies." She flashed her a very Willow smile and headed downstairs to prepare some popcorn and some soda. She grabbed a bag of chips and some bottles of water, just in case.

When she walked back into her room, she set the tray down and tried to wipe the flashbacks from her mind. She remembered when she last brought up the tray, to Faith, who was absolutely terrified of everything that moved. It was darker then, no lights were on, and no noises whatsoever. Just dark and silent and looming tension. Willow shuddered a little, recalling the look on Faith's face. All the different looks. For the longest time, Willow only knew two of Faith's looks: the sexy I-don't-give-a-shit look, and the one that was full of rage. But now she knew better. There was so much more to it all.

If only she'd known that before. Things might've gone a little differently.

Willow sighed, fingering the edge of her blanket absentmindedly.

Buffy finally walked out, squeaky clean and more in control of her emotions. Willow walked into the bathroom, holding her bundle of clothes and a new towel. She sighed again, as she stepped inside the tub, turning on the warm water. It met her head on, cascading down her skin smoothly. She scrubbed and cleansed and wiped and splashed, continuing on with routine, even when everything felt so out of place. Everywhere she went held memories of Faith. Her friend. The girl she bonded with over the two weeks they'd been alone together.

The tub, for one, she bathed Faith in this tub. Fed her, too, in this tub. Cleansed the wounds as best as she could in this tub. Watched her fall asleep in this miserable fucking tub.

The mirror. She helped Faith dress in front of the mirror. Helped her practice her movements in front of that mirror. Applied her make up for her in front of that fucking mirror.

As she turned the water off and stepped out of the tub and reached for the towel, she noticed the finger-like dents in the doorknob. The one where if Faith placed her hand over it, it would fit the grooves perfectly.

Goddess.

Even the fucking doorknob held memories of Faith. It was the first thing Faith learned how to re-use. How to open doors. She had gotten a bit frustrated with the one in the bathroom, and before Willow could blink, it crushed a little inwards. Slayer strength had its cons.

She sighed again as she was drying her hair, walking out of the bathroom.

"That's three sighs in a row, Will." Buffy said.

She was sitting cross-legged on the bed, blankly crunching at a chip, ignoring the fact that it wasn't particularly 'good' for her health. She'd done worse, she figured.

"Yea. Just feeling all kindsa reasons to sigh, you know?" Willow replied, throwing herself on the bed, lying behind Buffy's sitting form.

"You're really worried about her, aren't you?" Buffy asked softly.

Willow sat up, reaching for a soda and popping the tab.

"She's important to all of us, Buffy." She responded with a little heat, feeling somewhat offended that Buffy would suggest that she didn't feel the same.

Buffy's eyes widened as she shook her head.

"No! No, I didn't mean to make it sound like I wasn't worried, either, Will. It's just surprises me..." She stopped, wrinkling her nose.

"God. That sounds so bad, doesn't it?"

Willow quirked an eyebrow and took a sip of her soda.

"A little. You're gonna have to work on that little speech, Buff."

This time Buffy sighed.

"Willow, there was something we were talking about. Something I really needed her to hear, and I don't..." Her voice broke a bit, and tears began to fall.

"I don't know if I got to tell her." She whispered.

Buffy couldn't stand it anymore. It hurt so much, because whether she liked it or not, she was in love, and it was not with James. She had always been in love. There was just always something in the way. whether it was a relationship, her insecurities, insanity, fear, incredible pride, prison, whatever. There was always something. But just yesterday there was nothing in the way. Sure, an engagement, but one she could've easily ended right then and there. Something simple, something so easy. And she had been too fucking proud, or too fucking fearful, to let it end and go with the flow. So what did she have to show for it today? Only one day from yesterday?

Nothing.

Why?

Because Faith was gone, and suddenly that easy obstacle became larger and harder and tougher to pass.

"I think she already knew, Buffy." Willow replied soothingly, eyes meeting hers reassuringly. Even if her reassurance wasn't what Buffy was looking for her.

"It's not enough, Will." Buffy sighed, turning away.

"It'll never be enough."

_...for me._


	20. Chapter 20

**Gotta say, some of you are just so smart. Ooh, who's excited for that new TV show that Whedon's putting out with Dushku? Dollhouse? Mmmm. She's so...  
**

**Anyways, if you haven't already, check out the trailers and whatnot. It looks pretty interesting. We'll see, though. The only characters she's managed to really excel in for me is Faith and Missy Pantone. **

**But that's just cause I love that badass in her. ;)  
**

**Enjoy and review.**

* * *

**Somewhere (next morning 9:34 AM)**

He snuck past the rest of them, dodging in and out between the beams of sunlight shining through the cracks in the building.

"Oh fuck." He muttered as his foot barely grazed a shine of light.

Nothing.

He let out a sigh of relief and reached the door that held the moaning and groaning prisoner. He slipped in carefully without a sound. He pulled the damp cloth from the inside of his jacket and wiped gently at the wounds on her face with a grimace. She looked bad. Her shirt was tattered and torn, barely any of it left and stained with her blood. Even her sweats were ripped and might as well not have been there. She wasn't wearing a jacket for once, which only told him that she had been training or working out before they'd taken her in.

He almost jumped a mile in the air when her eyes shot open.

"Yo-mmph!" The surprised proclamation was shut off by his hand over her mouth.

Rolling his eyes, he shook his head.

"Gotta hush up, love. There's a crockload of bloodsucking mates out there who want you for supper, if you know what I mean." He grinned a little, if only to make the situation seem lighter than it really was.

He'd seen the bullet wound, he grit his teeth in anger when the warlocks had made it so that none of the injuries would heal. Just to keep her weak. But he had several tricks up his sleeve, too. His little mate had hooked him up and given him a good potion to counteract it. Hence the damp towel.

"What happened?" She whispered now, words coming out in pants because something was causing her a lot of fucking pain.

"Some asshole shot you in the lung, that's what happened. They froze the damn thing to keep you from healing, but so that it won't kill you." He replied matter-of-factly, now wiping at the bite marks on her neck.

"James." She said.

"Buffy's new boy, isn't he?" He asked nonchalantly, with a bit of a smirk on his face.

"Wipe it off your face, before I find a way to smash it off." She glared at him, a spark of something in her eyes that told him that the demons had one up on them all.

He clenched his jaw, angry, but he couldn't do anything about it. He didn't have that kind of power. The best he could do now was try to help her wounds heal. But eventually he'd have to go find the others and bring them to where she was, and that was the only chance they had.

"No need to get your panties in a twist, love." He tried to keep it light, stuffing the now stained cloth back into his jacket pocket.

"I need to get back." She said suddenly, looking a bit panicked, the fierce something in her eyes gone. She began to struggle against the chains violently, despite the fact that her wounds were in danger of reopening.

"That fucker's got Buffy! I have to-"

The door opened and in rushed a bunch of other vampires, who all looked a bit miffed at being woken up during the day. He groaned internally but thanked the Powers that the cloth was back inside his jacket. He reached back and slapped her across the face. Hard enough to make it look like it hurt.

"Shut the fuck up, pet. Nobody wants to hear it." He turned and nodded at the others.

"Just keeping the girl in shape for the boss."

They gave him a funny look, and the lead of them stepped forward suspiciously.

"There's something about you that's just not right, buddy."

"Must be because of my dash and charm, eh?"

The other vampire's eyes narrowed. He wasn't as stupid as the other ones. Rather smart, actually, which made him a much tougher opponent to fool.

"Funny that we haven't initiated you yet, newbie."

"Well I'm here to be initiated." He hoped his confidence would pull him through. He couldn't fail now.

"Alright then. Boys?" The leader gave him an evil grin, as two of his followers went straight towards the girl and tore away what was left of her shirt, leaving her abdomen open other than her plain black bra.

Her eyes widened as she continued to struggle and curse.

His eyes widened at the sight.

Puncture marks trailed all across her body where there weren't any other wounds. Some were pink and healing and others were still oozing with blood. He couldn't help but notice the one particular wound that lie on her stomach, a little low towards the left side, vertical and raised. Pink and old. He felt the big one grab him by the scuff of his jacket and thrust his face near her skin.

"Drink up."

He could smell her blood, and it made him shudder. The vampire inside of him begging for a taste. And he knew the only way he could protect himself and her at the same time was to do as they asked. His eyes trailed up to meet hers in apology. She was shaking, with anger or hurt, he wasn't sure. He closed his eyes shut tight and felt his face change and his mouth opened to reveal his sharp fangs.

He bit.

She let out a strangled cry.

He hid the tears.

So did she.

He drank, the beast inside of him taking more and more, sucking in the life that she had to offer, the sweetness of her blood tasting like heaven to his hellish tongue. He could hardly stop himself, and he could feel her go limp in her restraints. He pulled back in horror, though he could vaguely hear the laughter of the other vampires and their claps of approval on his back.

"That's some power, new one. Good job." The big one, Alphonse, patted his back fondly.

"Yea. Thanks." He muttered, wiping her blood from his lips.

"She should be weak enough to release the darkness. The Master will be pleased."

"When's this all happening, anyway?" He had to ask, not only out of curiosity, but in order to gain the information.

Alphonse grunted, while the rest slinked out of the room.

"Tonight, probably." He shrugged and walked out, leaving him all alone in the room with her.

He felt his blood freeze.

If that was possible.

Tonight, it was going to be tonight. God be damned, he had no more time. He glanced quickly at her, whose breath was raspy, eyes glazed over but a little focused on him. He neared her and brushed her hair from her face.

"I'm gonna get the rest of them, pet. Don't worry, we'll break you out of here." He turned to leave, then he stopped.

Turning back around, he pulled out the cloth to wipe at the bite mark he knew was his, tears threatening to spill from his hardened eyes.

"Damnit. I'll make them pay for this, love. I never wanted to do this, you know that, right?" He shook his head, shoving it back into his pocket. He reached for her hand, which was still trapped within a steel cuff, and gave it a squeeze.

"I promise I'll be back. You best stay alive, Slayer. I have...**faith** in you."

With that he ran out of the cell and pulled out his own personal cellphone, punching in a memorized number.

'Hello?'

"It's me. Listen, I'm gonna have to bust out of here. Find me a bloody car that'll take me to the others and quick."

'Already? Is she alright? Should I call Mr. Giles? What should I-'

"Listen, you sod. Just do as I say and I'll call you back." He hung up.

Humans. Honestly.

* * *

**4:52 PM **

Nothing. They had nothing.

Angel slammed a fist into the wall for the fourth time in an hour and a half. It wasn't doing much to help, but it made him feel a little better.

Kennedy preferred her occasional throwing of objects at the same wall. Why not? It didn't have any feelings.

Cordelia was burning holes into the pages she was reading, mostly because none of what she was reading came to any use in their search.

Xander was making tears in his lip, tiny spots of blood appearing and disappearing every time he licked his lips nervously.

Willow split her time comforting both Kennedy and Buffy, as well as clicking away at her computer screen, which left little time for her to do any brooding of her own.

Anya was counting and recounting the amount of weaponry and ammunition they had. It was her 26th time already.

Dawn was subconsciously picking at her nails as she read, nothing useful, nothing popping out, just nothing.

Giles paced, making hmm-ha noises as he gnawed on the end of his pen, taking notes on the margins of the articles that Willow had printed out for him.

Buffy read as well, though most of the time she was only twitching and jumping at every loud noise that happened to occur. She was feeling skittish.

_Blip blip blip._

Giles fumbled with the phone for a moment before managing to handle it correctly.

"Hello?"

"Hi Mr. Giles!" The voice echoed in the room, making Giles jump; he must've set it to speakerphone.

"Bollocks." He held it away from his ear, staring at the infernal contraption with utter disgust.

"Yes, Andrew?"

"How are you doing?"

"This isn't the time for cordiality, Andrew. Is there a reason you called?"

"No need to get huffy, Mr. Giles. I was trying to be polite."

"Andrew! I haven't the **time** for polite!" Giles was turning beet red.

"Well, I just thought it would be better of me, as a person, to let you all know that we're-"

The doors opened and in stepped two figures.

"Here." Andrew smiled brightly as he shut his flip phone and stuffed it back into his pocket.

His companion, who had been covered in a large black blanket, threw it off and cricked his neck.

"Bloody hell, I didn't think it could get this hot in Cleveland."

The phone in Giles' hand dropped to the floor and broke.

Not that anybody noticed.

"Spike?!"


	21. Chapter 21

**Now I hear that some of you aren't Spike fans. I'm not jumping up and down screaming like a little girl for him, either, but he's a good guy. Definitely is in my fic. The only time when I don't like him is with Buffy. Spuffy's so out, and Bangel's just cliche. And don't get me started on Riley. But the point is, Angel and Spike are good vampires. Yay them. **

**Enjoy and review. I think you'll like this one. I enjoyed writing it for Buffy's sake.  
**

* * *

**6:27 PM**

"So Angel's team performed some wickedy-doo-da spell with no Spike in sight, so they thought it was bust, when really, you poofed back into existence somewhere in Italy and ran into Andrew?"

Xander Harris was trying to figure this all out.

"Well, yea."

"I was out eating at my favorite pizzeria when I saw him, it was really something! I thought, 'it couldn't be' but it was! And so I-"

"Oh shut up. This isn't the time." Spike cut him off with a wave of his hand.

He glanced about at the weary group.

"We'll figure out the particulars later. Right now, we need to retrieve Faith."

They all jumped up at once. Except Giles, who only glanced up in a shocked manner. It was more dignified.

"Faith? As in **our** Faith? Of course you mean our Faith. What other Faith is there that we know? You know where she is? How did you, and where did...Is she alright? Should we take the car? What's going to happen to her? Does she remember-" Willow's intense questionnaire-babble was shut down by Kennedy's hand over her mouth.

The hot-headed Slayer nodded at Spike to continue.

"She's chained up in an abandoned warehouse not too far from here, considering it's better to be near the Hellmouth during the ritual. I've been tracking the guy for months; he's tough, and he's smart, which makes for a bad combination for us. In any case, he's been waiting a long time for Faith to be broken in and he was bloody well pissed into oblivion when you brought her back, Willow. Unfortunately, a bit of that situation came to his advantage and the past two and half weeks he's just been waiting for the perfect moment to snag her. And...he did." He paused a moment to let it sink in.

"As for how she's doing..." He shook his head with disgust before meeting their gazes very seriously.

"She's hurt. Bad. He's used magic to freeze her wounds, keep them from healing at all, but it won't let her die, either. **That's** for tonight, after they bring out her full-fledged darkness. It's the bullet wound that's done her in the worst. Christ, I was gonna try and work on it, but they caught me and I had to pretend I was just beating on her like they were-"

"Bullet wound?" Buffy spoke up, feeling something inside her twitch.

Spike stared at her with surprise.

"Yea...you mean you don't know about that?"

They shook their heads. He jumped up in a burst of frustration. Anger that justice hasn't been brought down upon the criminal's head.

"He shot her! That sodding human shot her and dragged her to the Master! I don't even know if it was for thirty pieces of silver, but that's one fucking Judas, is what he is."

Angel stiffened.

"What...human?" His voice was nowhere near friendly, but Spike knew it wasn't out of their rivalry.

It was out of concern. Something he shared with Angel, ironically enough. A Slayer caused them to be enemies, and now it was another Slayer that brought them together. Figures the two Slayers were polar fucking opposites.

"Buffy's new one."

"James? Buffy's fiance?" Anya clarified. In a questioning tone.

This time it was Spike who stiffened before laughing incredulously. At Buffy.

"You're kidding me, right? Fiance?" He shook his head again.

"Yea, James. That's the one. I figured you lot would've known. Faith was worried that he had Buffy, she was trying hard to get out..."

Angel was already on the move. So was Kennedy.

They were back in less than 3 minutes, dragging in a sputtering James in his bathrobe.

Angel threw him to the floor, and Kennedy was on him immediately, picking him back up by the collar and slamming him into the wall. Not really caring if there just happened to be a door handle in the way or not. The sound of bone crunching made Xander and Dawn cringe, but neither of them felt any pity. She was in the business of slaying evil, and since she'd sworn to do the best that she could possibly do, she was holding up to that oath. And this pathetic fool quavering in front of her? Definitely being tossed under the speeding bus with the label 'evil' across the front. Her job?

To exterminate.

"What? What did I do? I-agh! S-stop! Please...Buffy!" But there was something in Buffy's eyes that told him there was no help coming his way.

In fact...

Buffy easily pushed Kennedy aside and took place of aggressor as she dug her fingernails into his skin as she slammed him again in the walls. He whimpered, but he knew better than to say a word.

"You shot her."

"Wh-what? I didn't-"

Without any straining on her part, she just flung him across the room. He met the bookcase head-on, falling to the floor in a crumpled mess. As he moaned and shifted, she moved quickly without breaking a sweat to pick him up again, but Spike grabbed her by the arm.

"Buffy-"

He nearly lost his undead life for what he felt was the millionth time in his...undead life.

She had somehow - by reflex - twisted his arm around and pushed him up against the wall, her favorite stake dangerously up close and personal to his chest. She had been fiddling with it before all of this had occurred, it usually made her feel very calm. And right now? Well...not so much. The look in her eyes was beyond frightening. Possibly because past the crazed look of hate and anger and revenge, there was guilt and sorrow and so much pain that came with being Buffy Summers. She was feeling it down to the core, and he had just stopped her from letting it loose upon one of the factors of that pain.

"Listen, Slayer-" He lost his un-needed breath for a moment as she pulled him forward and slammed him against the wall again.

"What more do I need to listen to, Spike? Give me one good reason not to beat you to death for stopping me."

He smirked. He couldn't help it.

"Well for one, I'm already dead. Second of all, I'm the only one who knows how to get to her."

Andrew jumped in excitedly.

"Actually, I know how to-"

"Will you **shut** up?! Are you **trying **to get me bloody killed?" Spike gave him an exasperated look. Andrew flushed and did as he was asked.

Buffy's eyes returned to normal as she released him. He brushed himself off and straightened out his clothes before continuing.

"They must've wiped you both, so he doesn't remember anymore than you do. The Master's-"

"The Master? I thought we already-"

"Different guy, same name. Barmy assholes can't find it in themselves to be original. In any case, his warlocks are powerful. Just lock the pig up and we'll get back to him later. Right now, we have to worry about Faith."

Buffy wanted desperately to protest, but she knew he was right. She had to focus on finding Faith now. She nodded sternly and motioned for everybody to get ready to leave as soon as possible. As they all scurried to positions, Buffy dragged James into one of the interrogation rooms. Before she locked it, she turned around and glared at him with one of the most frightening looks he'd ever seen in his life. It was the look that the Slayer gave before she caused an intense amount of damage. It was one you did not ever want to cross.

"If she dies, James, I'm going to watch you burn, and I'm going to enjoy every single minute of it."

With that, she slammed the door shut.

* * *

**9:02 PM**

The leaders stood, gathered in the center of the lobby, the final strategic plan being laid out.

"The ritual will be at midnight, precisely. As unoriginal as you can get, really, but it's the ancients." Spike had said.

"My team goes on the offensive, up front. Kennedy's will bring up the rear. Xander, you're in charge of blueprints and guiding us around. Anya's team will manage weapons and ammo. Willow and her group will be working on the magic. Angel, I want your group to work from roof down. We're gonna try to cover all sides as much as possible. Giles, will you be able to translate that spell by then?"

"Yes, I do believe so, Buffy."

"Good. Remember, our headsets will be linked to each other. Keep in touch."

"I suppose I'll be going with you then?" The bleach blond vampire raised his eyebrows towards Buffy, who nodded in affirmative.

"Xander's gonna work mostly with the others, so I'll need you to guide us, since you know your way around the place."

"Right." He didn't find the need to blurt out some sarcastic comment. It just wasn't the time for it.

Over the past few hours, they had all seen a part of Buffy that they hadn't seen in a long time. Most of them expected a bit of a fanfare or perhaps a explosion with streamers flying all over the place. All for the return of the Slayer. Not just any Slayer. **The **Slayer. Buffy Summers, who had been MIA for so long, was back. And ready to kick some ass. It was a triumphant moment for them all, especially for the ones who had stuck it out with her for the longest time, waiting ever so patiently for her return, wishing and praying for it. So by the miracle of God, the Powers That Be, or most probably - Faith - she was back.

And now it was time for Buffy to return the favor.

They didn't know much about the ritual, just what they've already heard and gathered from the last meeting with Faith and Spike's input. Apparently Faith was weakened enough now to contribute everything to the resurrection. The warlocks would cast a spell and draw out her dark, demonic side and at the very end, that essence, as well as the essence of her broken heart would be thrown into the mixing pot and poof here comes the Master.

Okay, so perhaps the mixing pot and poofing wasn't exactly the way it was going to occur, but that was the gist of it. The whole thing was under a lot of hush hush, so none of the vampires knew a single thing about it, which didn't help Spike out much, but at least he knew location. That was usually all the Scoobs ever needed. After that, they most often winged the damn thing. So far it'd turned out alright.

"Alright, let's go."

They hoped tonight wouldn't be a turnabout of luck.


	22. Chapter 22

**Yay for you, lots to read today/night. **

**This chapter's show the relationship between Faith and Spike. And no, not like that. That would be...weird. I mean, I can see it happening, considering it's Spike. And Faith. But no. Not like that. **

**Enjoy and review. Seriously. Updating everyday isn't all that easy. ;P**

* * *

**10:47 PM**

"You never explained why it took you so long to get to the school when it only takes like, two hours to get here." Dawn whispered.

She was staying behind with Xander, but since all teams were standing down until Xander had his equipment set up, she decided on some small talk with Spike. They'd always been close, and she'd missed him oh so very much.

Spike snorted, waving his hand around in some nonsensical gesture in an attempt to look suave.

Needless to say, it worked.

"Well I've never been there, so I had to figure out where the hell I was going. Then that idiot of a partner botched up the directions, which was hard enough to follow when you have a big old blanket over yourself. So give or take a couple hours and there's the answer."

Buffy couldn't help but smile along with the scattered laughter at his explanation. It was nice to have him back. Certainly shocking, but good. Spike, despite his flawed past, was a good man. Vampire. Souled demon...man. Whatever the hell he was, he was a good being, and he would do anything for her and her crew. She knew that. They might've been on tense terms, but they'd managed to work past the differences up until the end, and everybody saw him as a hero. Their champion.

**Buffy's** champion.

One of many, actually, but that wasn't really the point.

The point was that he was a hero. It didn't matter if he was a vampire. Or that he made some horrible choices and have done some terrible things in the past. He'd plowed through it, and made it to that point, where he gave up his life for the sake of the world. Well, mostly for the beautiful blonde Slayer by the name of Buffy, but for the world, too. And now, he was all up and about the heroic deeds again, only this time, he was planning on sticking around some more. Plus, he was champing for the other Chosen Slayer this time.

He and Faith had gotten rather close during that last battle in Sunnydale. Sure, they had their squabble that one night, when things just got a bit out of hand, but they'd managed to patch that up, and they realized their similarities over a beloved bottle of vodka. Or two each. He nudged her jokingly, she clapped his back with a sorrowful laugh, all because they were both head over heels for Buffy Anne Summers, and both knew neither of them would ever get her to love them back. They'd sat together in the basement, late that night, starting off with Spike retreating for a few winks before the actual battle. He'd been surprised to find Faith down there, too, already having smoked through a pack and a half of Camels.

"It's a wonder you keep that body in shape." He remarked airily as he squatted down beside her.

She hardly looked at him, a scowl passing over her features.

"Isn't there somewhere you should be? Someone you should be doing?" She responded, clearly not in the mood.

The comment stung, and he knew which 'someone' she was referring to, but he just smiled in that irritating way that he did.

"If you want to get technical, Slayer, **this** is where I sleep."

"What's the point of getting technical, when nothing works out anyway?" She muttered, absentmindedly handing him the pack that held the remaining 3 cigarettes.

He took it, equally absentmindedly.

It was out of bumming habit.

He sighed as he stretched his legs out in front of him to actually sit himself down on the ground, leaning his head back against the wall.

"I suppose that's one way to look at it." He said as he lit the cigarette in between his lips.

"Yea. Not so much in the cheery mood now, sorry." Obviously, she wasn't all that sorry.

"So you don't think it'll work, then?"

She laughed a little, without actually laughing.

"Oh it'll work. Haven't seen Buffy do a single thing yet that didn't follow through right." She took a drag, then blew out a puff of smoke, along with a comment that Spike barely heard.

"Other than killing me."

He could've sworn that's what he heard, but he didn't say anything. He knew better than to.

"She's quite a girl, isn't she?"

"I guess you'd know better than the rest of us."

Something about her tone of voice made him look at her sharply, and in the way her face hardened he found the answer he was looking for. His own expression softened a bit, and with a disbelieving chuckle he stood himself up and walked over to a small cabinet near the cot. Reaching in, he pulled out two bottles of liquor and threw her one. She caught it quickly, before shaking her head with her own little chuckle.

"You're not so bad, for a vamp."

"That makes, let's see, three votes. Whoopee." He made a small circle in the air with a finger, as he sat back down. Against his bed, this time, so he was sitting level and across from her.

"It's a lot better than I could do, so I guess you should be throwing a party." She threw her head back, taking a deep swig of the liquid, letting it burn in her throat and hit her stomach in that way alcohol did.

He lifted his in a toast-like fashion before doing the same.

"I guess this is my party, then."

She stubbed her filter out before taking out another one. She stared at it for a moment, before putting it back into the pack and deciding on just the alcohol. She stared up at the ceiling as her hair pressed up funny against the wall.

"We are sad, **sad**, creatures. You know that?"

"Speak for yourself, love."

She went on, as if she didn't hear what he said.

"Vampire with a soul, Slayer with a rep for murder. That's pretty fucking pitiful, as far as 'proper place' goes."

"Ah. Proper place is pretty overrated, don't you think?"

"Says the vamp in love with **the **Slayer. Not really original material there, Spikey."

"Just in case you didn't realize, you're a Slayer, too."

"Sure, if piss-poor and second-string is any example of description."

"Well-"

"Point is, it's been done before."

He huffed in indignance.

"I have a much more interesting relationship with Buffy than Angel ever had. Bloody ponce."

"Yea. I guess the whole romantic tragedy doesn't play into the whole thing now, huh? No curse on your soul. Still, B must have some sort of vampire fetish."

There was a bit of silence before Spike risked saying what he said next.

"Funny that you're here to witness this one, too."

Faith hesitated a bit.

"Well, a lot of people have seen both. Not that big of a deal."

"Is for you, though."

She suddenly became angry, and her response was heated.

"Just what the fuck are you getting at?"

"You love her, don't you?"

Silence.

"Oh come on, now. I see all the signs. I've been there. Hell, I'm still there."

Silence.

"The way we unlucky bastards look at her, like she's all you can see. The unconscious way you find yourself drawing towards her, when she's talking, or even when she's just standing there-"

"Hey, not here to listen to you mope on about her, okay? I've got enough shit on my plate. Don't need you making up some crap about...nothing."

He sat up, tossing his bottle to the side.

"If you want, pet. Guess it doesn't matter, since we both know the truth."

"Whatever." She finished the rest of her vodka with a single gulp. He reached over and tossed her another one.

There was a stretch of silence again, and neither of them could really tell afterwards exactly how much time had gone by. Eventually both of them were too wrapped up in their alcohol to care. The amount of liquor they had didn't affect them enough, but just enough to loosen each other up. In a sense.

She spoke first, softly.

"At least she loves you back."

He was startled, but he heard her. The way she said it stirred some sympathy inside of him. And a feeling of kinship.

"It's not love."

"Of course it is, you fucking bastard." She said this with a laugh, throwing the cap of her bottle at him. He ducked his head, holding his hand up to 'block' it, grinning like a fool

"Trust me, Slayer. It's love, but not the love that I'm looking for."

She gave him a funny look, and what she said next made him feel a little stupid.

"You better take what you can get without complaining. Buffy would never throw me a second glance in hate, much less in any form of love."

It was his turn for silence.

"I'd give the world for her to look at me the way she looks at you, man. The whole-" She made a round gesture in the air in front of her.

"World." Her hands dropped into her lap.

He finished off his second bottle and sighed.

"I guess I never really saw it like that."

She did the same, and smiled at him wistfully.

"All in perspective, hm?" She crawled over to sit beside him, and nudged him playfully.

"I suppose."

"I was right, yea?"

"About what?"

"We're fucking pitiful."

He laughed out loud. Bellowed, somewhat. For some reason, it was just really funny to him.

"Yes, we're bloody fucking pitiful. We...fuck!"

That made **her** laugh, this time, as she clapped him on the back sturdily.

"Don't think B would be too happy with me if we did, so how about a rain check?"

He nudged her this time, chuckling still.

"It's bound to happen, sooner or later. You're hot, I'm hot...sodding **bound** to happen, I tell you."

"Not sure what that means, but...sure."

"It's an expression, obviously."

"Yea. And **obviously** not from America. Which is **obviously** where we are."

"Well I'm deep rooted with my country, so piss off."

"Piss off? I don't see 'the loo' anywhere, but seeing as you're B's little lapdog, you just need a corner, huh? Which one should I use?"

"Har har. Very funny. Really, you should be a bloody comedian."

"Where's the funny in being on bloody on stage? You Brits have a weird fucking idea of comedy."

"Oh fucking hell."

"That's **much** better."

"Slayers." Spike muttered.

"Yep."

They just sat beside each other, enjoying each other's company until the light broke above the horizon.

"Uh...Spike? Earth to Spike!"

Spike shook himself out of memory lane, seeing the hand waving in front of his face. Dawn was giving him a strange look, and the others were preparing to leave. He stood up without a word, stretching himself out a bit before nodding his ready to Buffy.

Ready to go and save Faith, who he considered something of friend. Someone he actually could connect with, heart-to-heart, whether they liked it or not. Because as Angel could relate to her haunted emotions and her journey for redemption better than anybody else in the world could, Spike could relate to her love for that darkness inside. He knew even better than Angel what it felt to grasp that power in his **souled** hands. He made a choice. Just like she did. And both of them had enjoyed it. Had loved it and craved it. Both of them eventually learned to balance that dangerous side to work with the good, as hard as it was for them. But it something only they could understand, something only they could see in each other's eyes when they made a kill. It's what made loving Buffy all the more ironic.

But that was over now. With his life, his love for her was concluded. It was already clear that he loved her, but it was different now, just as Angel's love for her was different. It was a fulfilling love, because it was balanced beautifully between them. And he knew in his unbeating heart that if there was one person who deserved Buffy's true love on a silver platter, it was Faith.

Even after death, she was still dreadfully in love with Buffy. Head over heels, twice or thrice over. When it came to Buffy, Faith's love **had** no conclusion. He saw it in her eyes as soon as it opened in front of him in the morning. Even in all her pain, even in the reaches of death, she loved Buffy. If there was no Buffy, there was no purpose. She lived, only for Buffy. And it was so painfully clear to him. Oh there was nobody in the world who deserved Buffy as much as Faith did. Not him, not Angel, not Riley and most definitely not that pig of a human James.

She'd earned it, rightfully, and he'd be damned if she didn't get a chance to live it up fully this time around.

Bloody well damned.


	23. Chapter 23

**This is short, I'm sorry. But everything's for a reason. Besides, I update every day. You should be able to handle it ;) **

**Plus, the next few chapters are gonna be pretty...crazy. I think.  
**

**Enjoy and review. Cause I love reviews. And feedback. Which essentially are the same things, but you know what I mean. **

**Just review.**

* * *

Kennedy's POV

When all systems are go, my team go at it like madmen...women...whatever.

We're slicing and dicing and breaking bones and dusting vamps with every slight movement of our Slayer-skilled bodies. It feels so very nice. We aren't a particularly large group, but it really only takes one Slayer to decently put down three vampires. And that's all we're dealing with here. Vampires. Well-organized, sure, but not as organized as we are.

I stake one, break another's nose, and pull a hook kick on the one behind me, all in one fluid motion. I grunt in satisfaction, as we finish off the rest of these bozos.

'Xander to Kennedy.'

I lift my hand up to hold the earpiece steady.

"Kennedy here."

'Well according to Wills, there's no more in your vicinity to worry about, but there's something not so good going down where Buffy's group should be. She's not answering my buzz; you might need to provide backup.'

'She's not answering?' I hear another voice come in.

'Yea. Angel, is everything covered up on the roof?'

'It's dead up here. I was going to leave my team to guard and head on down to meet Buffy.'

"I'll meet you there, I'll leave Janice or someone here in charge of the back area." I say quickly.

'Okay, but be careful you guys. Ken, you're gonna go straight down the main halls and take the last left. Angel, you-'

'I can find my way. Thanks, Xander.'

"Yea. Thanks."

'No problem. Buzz me if you need me.'

I'm already on the move, leaving two girls in charge of the situation. The 'sitch', as Faith would call it.

I swear on my life that if she dies, these bastards are going to pay. Actually, they're going to pay anyways, so I guess it doesn't really matter. You don't just take one of ours and expect us to just accept it lying down. We'll go after you, and we'll find you, and eventually, we'll **end** you. No matter who you are, where you are, when you decide to do it, or why. You will never see the light of day, or the dark of night ever again, so help me God. It's kind of a motto we have. I mean, sure, you can go with the whole 'help the helpless' thing Angel and his gang's got going on, but we're a little more violent. Gutsy.

I make it down the end of the large hallway without any trouble, and I reach the last doorway on the left. There's a surge of tingles that I get from the amount of vampires, but no movements near me. I suppose I'm clear. There's no fighting, and I can hear Buffy having a verbal go down with the owner of a grating voice, whom I'm going to assume is the Master.

Ugly voice. Ugly face. Most likely.

I sense movement behind me and I whirl around with my stake in hand.

Angel's standing right behind me.

"Jesus!" I hiss at him in the dark.

"You can just call me Angel." He deadpans.

I roll my eyes.

I mean honestly.

"Vampires making smart remarks at Slayers. What is this world coming to?" I mutter as I lean to look beyond the doorframe.

He gives me a bemused glance before crossing over onto the other side of the open entranceway, planning to give me a signal so we can enter in a synchronized fashion.

"Let's check in with Xander." I say before tapping on the earpiece.

"Hey, Ken to Xander."

All I hear is static. I glance up sharply at Angel, who looks just as concerned.

"Xander?" He says quietly.

Just static.

Shit. What's going on?

We don't have to wait long for the answer, because there's a voice that calls out and freezes the blood in both our veins, living and dead.

I can't believe this shit.

"Hey Ken, Fang! You might as well step on out, cause your damsel in distress ain't so much in distress anymore."

Pretty voice. Pretty face. This I know for a fact.

There's a laugh that follows it. One that I had never heard before, and one that Angel's heard plenty of times.

I can tell you that I've never had much of a problem when it comes to tough situations. Throw me a curveball and I can catch it easy. Toss me a flyball and I'll hit it out of the damn park. There have been two times in my life when I've ever panicked.

One was the very first time I fucked a girl. Believe me, you play stick for years then you come face to face...or face to pussy. It's an eye-opening experience.

Second time was when I saw Faith fall three years ago in a blind stupor. I never thought I'd get over the fact that my best friend was at her end. And I was right. I didn't.

Let's add a third one to the list.

Right now:

I'm looking at Angel, and I can see horror in his eyes.


	24. Chapter 24

**You guys are just too great. I love reading your reviews, cause they're hilarious. Just fantabulous. And your reactions are even better. So I know you guys were really concerned about the last chapter, since most of you figured out who it was. But...you'll see ;) **

**Enjoy and review. Lots.  
**

* * *

**11:26 PM**

Narrative

Kennedy and Angel stiffened.

They also hesitated, which was mistake number one.

"You wanna hurry it up a bit there, guys? I'm not sure how long Red's gonna last."

Then they heard a moan of pain.

Kennedy burst through immediately, eyes on fire. Angel stepped more slowly but firmly behind her.

"Mistake numero dos. Taking the bait." The voice drawled huskily, before letting out a laugh.

"Tsk tsk. Getting a little old, huh, Angel?"

They felt the knives at their throats before they could even move. Pushed jerkily, they were thrust into the rounded up and well surrounded group of people on their side, Buffy and Spike up near the front, facing one of the more horrifying looking creatures they have faced, along with several vampires.

But that wasn't what chilled them.

Not even hearing the voice was as bad as seeing the real thing.

Faith - their beautiful Faith - stood before them all, dressed to kill. She wore a red shirt, with ripped sleeves, a denim jacket over that and leather pants to boot. And speaking of boots, she was wearing a spanking new pair of combat boots on her feet. Her makeup was flawless, and no sign of marks, wounds, or injuries otherwise. All of them might've been overjoyed, if there wasn't that teensy problem that was constructed by the fact that she was perfectly, completely, and absolutely evil.

It's just something they could all feel.

If the knife pressing up against Willow's skin wasn't clue enough.

"Bloody hell." Spike murmured.

Faith heard.

She met his gaze with a smirk, letting her blood red lips widen to create the lovely dimples in her cheeks. She dragged the blade delicately across Willow's skin, making her whimper. Willow had been in this state of mind before. One of absolute fear.

"I'd say so, Spikey-boy. Red here looks like she's in for a real bloody hell of a night." She walked around the chair that Willow was tied in, like a predator playing with her prey. When her back was turned, she threw a flippant glance over at the group, along with a wink.

"Not that I haven't done worse."

Kennedy could feel her blood boiling.

"Faith, let her go."

"Is there some kinda problem, Kenny?"

"I said, let her go."

"Alphonse, you better get the lady a seat, I don't think she's enjoying the show enough to stand."

"Faith, I'm warning you."

"I'm shaking in my boots, really. Now shut the hell up before I make your lover scream."

"You b-"

Kennedy's voice died in her throat as a cry of pain erupted from Willow's. She paled visibly, and nodded her head at Faith, who didn't pull the blade away.

"Alright...alright." The younger Slayer's voice was hardly a whisper.

"Alright what?"

"I'll shut up...don't hurt her."

Faith quirked an eyebrow and just dropped the knife, letting it clatter to the floor. Willow shuddered out a breath of relief, something everybody was doing as soon as Faith hauled her up - with no explanation at all - and thrust her towards them. Kennedy caught and pulled her girlfriend into a tight hug, tears close to spilling. The rest of them just watched Faith warily, not quite understanding what her motives were for letting Willow go.

Spike found this moment to be the perfect time to move. No weapon in sight of her, and he was just as quick as she was. He hoped for the best as he leaped for the knife, which was closest to him. Keeping an eye on Faith, in case she tried something funny, since she made it rather clear that this was her moment.

He didn't make it past 2 steps. The splinter of wood impaling through his leg right below his knee kept him from his destination.

One of the couple wooden chairs was suddenly missing a leg.

Buffy moved to help him up.

"Looks like I made the pain worth it, vamp. Love of your life's right by your side again."

"She...isn't...the love of **my** life...shit..." He grunted, as he reached down to pull it out.

"Of course not, you just fucked her in every single way possible. Up the lane, down the street, whoo. I bet it was wicked hot." Faith jeered.

Then her eyes shot to meet Buffy's.

"Bet you loved every minute of it, B. Bet you screamed with delight each and every time you came." She laughed at the way Buffy's eyes flashed, and her hands raised to meet the swell of her breasts, traveling down the road of her abdomen towards her crotch.

Buffy couldn't help but be mesmerized.

Neither could the rest of them.

Faith's hands stopped in between her thighs.

"But it's cool, B. I know I made you scream louder." Her hands were back in the air, clapping and rubbing together in apparent excitement.

"So. What's next, sugar daddy?" She asked cutely, towards the hideous creature who towered over them all by a couple heads.

Whatever it was, it resembled something like a man, with parts of skin that appeared to be disintegrating and a raspy breath that would make the hardest of men cringe. He - assuming it was male - had eyes that shone a crystal blue, almost like a husky; it was the only part of him that could be called beautiful. Above his disfigured flesh grew a scaly, rocky hide that was slowly chipping away. He had no mouth that they could see clearly, but there was a slight groove where his nose and mouth should be, revealing that somewhere under that hardness was a face.

"I wouldn't say that you're getting carried away, Milady, but you're getting a little carried away."

"Aw, is the big bad Faith scaring our Master?" She asked seductively, letting her fingers lightly run over his.

The body seemed to shudder at the touch, and the grating voice began to laugh. His hands grabbed at her wrists as he slammed her against one of the large columns in the building. She continued to grin like she was having the time of her life, and even after he shot her a bone-crushing punch, she spit the blood out and laughed out loud.

He let go, shaking his head almost admiringly. He turned to face them.

"I see I have chosen my Source very well. She is quite fascinating, Slayer. Even I don't see how you ever let her go." His laughter and his words mingled together, striking something inside them all.

But Buffy worst of all.

She stepped forward, eyes ablazing with fury.

"You won't get away with this."

"Oh but I will. Would you like me to tell you why?"

"..."

"No, of course not. It'd be much easier if I just showed you. Faith?"

She was back up, split lip miraculously healed.

"Yea?"

"I think we should introduce them to our very own special guest."

She grinned.

"So we're bringing the bitch out here, huh?"

"**You** are."

Rolling her eyes, she sauntered away into the darkness of the large warehouse.

As soon as she disappeared, all hell broke loose. Immediately the Slayers let go of their inhibitions and attacked, the need to kill bursting out and pouring over onto all the unlucky vampires there were out there. But the problem was that there were too many. Kill one and there were three more to take his spot, and the bad of the situation grew more apparent as steadily the numbers of fully prepared Slayers decreased. They pulled the injured inwards while the stronger ones faced outwards, something you would see on a nature program about herds protecting their young, old and sickly. Buffy fought beautifully, leading the combative battle while Willow and her charges worked diligently on casting spells to heal or destroy.

The Master somehow seemed to stay away from the battle, from any harming spells, everything. He just stood, watching the scene as though he were watching a movie, and it boiled under their bloods even more, making them want to reach his evil ass sooner. Faster. Just so they could kill him and make him suffer the way he'd made them suffer.

Buffy could feel her heart racing, her adrenaline rushing, her lungs pumping air in and out, arms twirling, legs nimble, eyes as sharp as hawk's could ever be. She was in this battle the deepest of them all, excluding Faith, if only **because** of Faith's cruciality. Her heart felt twisted and her mind was in utter anguish when she first saw Faith jump down and appear right in front of their eyes, as dangerous as she was when they'd first met. Indeed, her breath had hitched briefly and she thought time froze for a moment, all because of the beautiful girl in front of them, but it all crashed down to reality.

Like now.

Everything came to a freeze when her voice rang out above all their battle cries.

"We're baaaaaack!"

They all turned towards the speaker, who held in her right hand an arm that was connected to the body of a girl who was bound and gagged and slumping towards the ground. She looked as though she'd been dragged through piles of dirt and puddles - no, **oceans** - of blood. She was soaked in something they all hoped was sweat, and she couldn't stand to save her life. Or theirs.

Faith picked her up bodily and threw her down onto the chair, while the resonating sounds of her groans loomed over the silence that haunted the room.

She leaned down and spoke out loud near the girl's ear, grinning full on.

"Look at all these people, huh? They're all here to see you, you know. For once, you're the star of the fucking show!" She laughed as the girl just tried to move her head away.

Grabbing her by the jaw, Faith jerked it back around to face them.

They who felt everything in their stomachs rising up to meet their throats.

Faith smirked and her lips were right there against her ear.

"Say hello, **Faith**."


	25. Chapter 25

**You guys...just...are so good to me. **

**This is rather short, but it's a pretty sentimental chapter. I hope you don't need assistance in understanding this chapter. **

**But just in case: Italics and Regular fonts are separate. But when it's bold, it's together. And it all flows, when you puzzle piece it together the right way. If you still don't get it, you're-  
**

**I won't say it.  
**

**Enjoy and review. **

* * *

Faith's POV (which one?)

**I'm fighting to keep from vomiting.**

_You disgusting, self-righteous assholes who think you know me, as if..._

God, I don't want you all to see me like this, in any way else because...

**This is all I never (or ever?) wanted to be.**

_I can see the fear your eyes, you shits, I know that fear's always been there waiting for..._

I can think of so many different ways you could've seen me, and I never imagined...

**Me in front of all of you like this, even when it's always been like this inside, and you just never knew.**

_I bet it's easy to condemn me when you're so fucking high above me, I mean, I fell into the habit way early..._

It's not like I ever wanted them to see this deep, I've worked on this wall since forever...

**Thanks to Mom.**

_Pretending you're my friend when you're only around because I can give you something you want..._

All of the people that I love, I hate that all of you just staring at me like this, like a fucking failure...

**Because that's all you ever got from me anyways.**

_I'm not sorry, I'm not ever going to be sorry I hurt you fucking assholes the way..._

I'm so sorry, I should've been paying more attention to my surroundings like...

**You taught me to.**

_And Buffy, you lousy bitch, you shallow fucking poster girl for straightness..._

And Buffy, I don't care who the fuck you're engaged to...

_You made me feel like I didn't deserve a chance, like I was some sort of stray dog..._

I don't care how many stupid assholes I had to watch you date, really...

_Spat on you, B? You fucking __**pissed**__ on me, you heartless bitch..._

Or how many nights that I pretended my conquests were really you...

_You cut me up, tore me up inside and gutted me like fish..._

And all the moments that made me wonder if you knew...

_But you wanna hear the irony of it all? _

Maybe you did and maybe you didn't, but I know you know now...

_You'll keep hurting me every chance you get, in every single way, but..._

That through all of this bullshit, that at the end of the day...

**I'll fucking love you anyway.**


	26. Chapter 26

**Okay, so I have a titch of bad news. I'm leaving after tomorrow for a week to go travel and spend some time with my family. I'm not really sure what the internet capabilities are, but I promise I'll do my best to get the next chapters up. But you know...just...try not to freak out if I don't update as fast as I normally do. **

**Jek - I haven't seen your reviews in a while! I have a funny story to tell you. On some other site, there was someone else with JekyllnHyde as their sn and I had to ask if it was you. Guess it wasn't, but I found it rather interesting. Thanks for your review, and I agree that some are pretty obvious, though most people tend to be surprised. **

**As for you others, thanks again for your reviews, you are all too sweet. And incredibly enthusiastic. Makes this whole deal worthwhile.  
**

**Enjoy and review.**

* * *

**11:41 PM**

Narrative

"Oh God."

A lesser person might've crumpled down to the floor after that, but not Buffy. Never Buffy.

She stood strong, even as her knees were shaking and threatening to buckle beneath her petite cheerleader body.

The others were having a hard time, too.

The Master watched them all with slit eyes, seeming more than pleased with himself at this new development. With a ground-shaking laugh he fell into the cliche of what most villains loved to do. Taunting. Normally that's what brought their downfall, what with the ego boost and adrenaline rush their taunts give to the good guys. But the issue here was that he had the upperhand of '19 minutes left until the world is mine' on his side. And the haunting fact that he had one of **theirs** under his power.

"Well, it seems that seemed to work very well, now doesn't it?"

There was no answer from their side. What could they say, that couldn't be said already by the terror in their eyes. The raw pain that exuded from their hitched breaths, their trembling hands, the tears in their eyes...What more could they say?

Faith tore the gag off her likeness' face, which had left a raw fiber burn on her face due to how tight it had been tied around her.

Or the likeness tore it off Faith's face. That seemed to make more sense to them.

"Come on, don't be fucking rude, now, Faithy. Say hello."

"...hel...lo..." The voice sounded so weak, so confused, her head lolling a little to the side like a drunk.

"That's a good girl."

"Faith!" Dawn couldn't help but call out, wanting to run. But Willow's hand stilled her on one shoulder, as Buffy's did on the other.

Buffy, who was still about protecting everyone. Getting everyone out alive. She knew she had to be smart, and Dawn rushing up? Not smart. She saw what the evil Faith had done to Spike in a blur. It was faster than she had ever been able to be, which was pretty damn fast. Her mind raced. They had gotten everybody - all the leaders - except for Giles. Giles was still out there with his group, all of whom she prayed was safe. Kennedy's group was apparently still out back, while Angel's was still up top. How they were, nobody could know.

"...Squirt?"

_Slap!_

Followed by a whimper.

"Not allowed to talk unless I tell you you can, you little shit."

"S...sorry...Mom..."

They all noticed the livid expression that crossed the likeness' face. The rage and the pain that embodied her fully.

"What did you call me?" She hissed at - literally - herself, sitting there with all the wounds she didn't have.

"Don't get worked up over what our precious toy has to say, Faith." The Master clucked like a mother hen.

But the Rogue didn't heed him. Her eyes were too filled with fury.

"You think apologizing to Mom would've saved us? If she forgave us for the shit we never did? If she forgave us for crying when she hit us across the face with a broken bottle?" She gripped the collar of the tattered shirt closer, tighter, words spitting towards her.

"You really think if we apologized to them, they'd forgive us? Look at them. They **fear** me, which means they fear you." She threw them a heated glare, before turning it back to her original.

"Go ahead, keep up your proclamation of sorry, cause no matter what, they'll never forgive us for being who we are."

With a final punch to the face, Faith was thrown against the back of the chair again, bleeding from her cheek. The likeness straightened herself out, cooling herself with a single moment before nodding at the Master to continue.

The Master grunted in amusement before casting his glance over them with a condescending look. He lifted a hand and twiddle his fingers, and from behind him came three ugly looking old men in hoods, wrinkles galore. The warlocks.

"My warlocks, you see, are powerful. Together, even more powerful than your witch. And by my bidding, they've provided me with what was needed for my true resurrection, and here, my last and final ingredient stands before us all." He stroked Faith's cheek almost lovingly.

Buffy resisted the urge to slice his hand off.

She had to use all the time they had wisely, with a few minutes left over to save Faith. But to do that, they had to figure out what the hell he'd done to her, and any indication of how to fix it. Because Buffy had every single fucking intention to save her girl.

Yes.

**Her** girl.

"You monster." Willow couldn't help but gasp out through her angry tears.

"So I hear." He replied calmly.

"I suppose you've figured it out then, witch, what I've done to your lovely Faith? It would be most commonly known as mystical cloning, taking a part of one's essence and creating, in basic terms, another one of themselves. We took it to a new level, now didn't we, Faith?"

She laughed in response.

"Sure did, Boss."

"We didn't take all her essence. We only took what I needed for tonight, and that was her darkness. The source of all evil inside of her. Of course, we took a few precautions. For example-" He smashed a hand into her nose, breaking it with an audible crack.

They all stepped forward in alarm, then were shocked to see the broken nose mend and the blood disappear.

And reappear, on Faith's face.

The one in the chair, that is.

"Think you could take me, now, B?" The likeness chuckled, shaking her head as she crossed her arms.

"Can't take me, can't break me, can't make me. I'm your little dog no more."

"You, I could always take." Buffy returned coldly, readying herself to push all of this likeness' buttons.

She made subtle movements and eye contacts to confirm what they all essentially knew. They had to take down the warlocks, first and foremost. As soon as Buffy spoke her words, they all pulled out their coldest faces. Knowing that to save Faith, they had to destroy her.

"You think? I don't know, B, you're looking a bit shabby there. Worse for the wear."

"She looks better than you, pet."

"Tough argument there, vamp, though you're looking pretty healthy. Let me guess, did you get a good stiff drink in before the festivities?"

Spike clenched his fists in anger.

"Oh, wait. I guess I already know that answer, don't I? Did you tell them, Spikey?"

Everybody turned to glance at him in surprise, who couldn't answer in his guilt. In his rage.

"Spike?" Dawn voiced.

He just gritted his teeth together.

And her likeness hoisted Faith up by the throat and pulled up the bloody shirt, revealing the wounds that were frozen in time. Out of all the puncture wounds in her abdomen, the likeness pointed out one bite mark that lay bruising against the pale skin.

"Well lookie here, guess Spike left you a parting gift this morning, didn't he, Faith?"

"I had to, you bloody bitch." Spike retorted, keeping his cool.

She was just trying to light a fire under all of them. Starting with him, and he knew it. And as much as it hurt, he planned not to let it burn him to the heart. He had to ignore it, for Faith's sake.

"You drank from her?" Angel's voice was incredulous.

"If you think about it, Soulboy, so did you." She laughed as she dropped Faith back onto the chair, pushing her head sideways to reveal the scar.

Angel set his jaw, eyes flaring. He was catching on, letting his thoughts relax, trying hard to focus on the goal. But it was hard when one of the people you cared about the most was in terrible danger.

"Yea. It helped save me. Can't say the same for you, you're far from what you'd come to be."

"Redemption's not **my** goal, Angel. That's hers." She jerked a thumb towards the girl behind her.

"What is your goal, then? If it's being a worthless psycho scum, you're doing pretty well." Kennedy called out, smirk planted firmly on her face.

There was a flash of anger in the Rogue's eyes before she returned the smirk.

"Why so bitter, Ken? You feeling helpless, like the day your sister died? Feeling outta control cause your best friend is sitting in a pool of her own blood?"

Kennedy immediately stiffened, and her expression changed. Her heart pounded so hard in her head she didn't know what to do. Everything inside of her suddenly screamed to kill her for what she'd said. All the pain and all the regrets came crashing back down into her mind, and she found it ironic that it was Faith who had helped her clean the mess up and now it was Faith - or her dark side - who was tearing it back down. She was at a loss when Willow's hand brought her back to reality. Their eyes met, and Kennedy found that moment of peace in the love Willow sent her, reminding her that she wasn't that weak. That she could take this. With her by her side.

"Helpless? You want to talk about helpless? Helpless is what you were the night you begged me to kill you. The night you cried like a baby, letting all your pathetic defenses fall to the ground." Angel to the rescue, sending a warm look towards Kennedy.

"Yea, this little bitch is pretty pathetic, isn't she?" The provoked Dark Slayer nudged the wounded Faith in the chair, letting her rage show only through the subtle flashes of emotion and the twitching of her fingers waiting to clench up into fists.

"But hell, you didn't do the deed, Fang. Wonder why nobody ever finished the job you all started back in good old SunnyD?" She rubbed a spot on her stomach thoughtfully.

Then her eyes met Buffy's.

Raw and real.

Buffy thought for a moment, that she could see her Faith behind those eyes.

"Wanna know something kinda strange, B? All my scars and wounds went to the original me. But on the both of us, **this** is still there." She lifted up the shirt, revealing the raised pink scar.

Everyone knew.

"Because it was unfinished business." Buffy replied.

"You saying you're here to kill me?"

They both stepped closer, toe to toe, face to face, eye to eye. Nothing but their fists to fight with, the Slayer in them sparking to life within their beautiful eyes, daring each other to go first. This Faith wore the familiar smirk that exuded with overwhelming confidence. Because she knew that she couldn't die. Buffy erased all emotion from her face, swallowing it down and letting the acid in her stomach take care of it, knowing that getting no emotion from her will be the thing that hurts the most.

"I'm saying **you** are already dead to me." She spoke those words with no feeling, while inside she prayed that her baby knew that she loved her.

It was the truth. Buffy loved Faith, deeply so. But this...this creature before her? That wasn't Faith. That was never Faith. Because even when Faith had brought forth the attitude and the walls, plus the intense about of hate and uncaring, the softer, lighter side of Faith was still there. It had been the thing that kept her from truly bringing an end to their group. Faith had many chances to destroy them. But she denied them, every one. Certainly she made choices that created all the distrust and anger between them, but it was that side of Faith that held her back.

And this Faith?

Exactly what Buffy had said.

This Faith was dead to Buffy, and nothing could change that.

The Rogue's fists were now at a full fledged clench, the essence of her very being causing her some emotional damage due to the words that were spoken to her. Behind her, Faith moaned.

"Bring it on."


	27. Chapter 27

**I should be sleeping. I just spent almost 20 hours in a car nonstop. Makes a brain dizzy. But, seeing as I left you with a cliffhanger, I suppose I should update, which is clearly what I am doing now. **

**Anyways, this is Buffy POV, I thought it'd be nice to see from her side of the story. See what she's thinking.  
**

**Enjoy and review. I may or may not be able to update tomorrow, but the day after that, probably.**

* * *

Buffy's POV

Have you ever loved someone so much that it hurt?

I have.

I used to think that was what it was, with Angel. With Spike. That I was hurting so bad because I loved them.

But it wasn't that.

I was hurting because they hurt me.

In a way so that if anybody did that to me, it would hurt, whether or not I was in love with them.

But with Faith...

It hurts.

It hurt when I denied it way back when. It hurt when I made myself stomp on it. It hurt when she threw it away. It hurt to be slapped in the face with her betrayal. It hurt to hate her. It hurt to stab her. It hurt to watch her fall down down down below me. It hurt to see her again. It hurt to believe she hated me. It hurt to **be** her. It hurt when I saw how she was treated. It hurt to watch her run away from me. It hurt to see her break in the arms of another. It hurt not being able to see her. It hurt trying to forget her. It hurt **pretending** I could forget her. It hurt to see her for the third time. It hurt to ignore the fact that she was trying for me. It hurt to argue. It hurt to feel like we had to cut each other down to size each other up.

And then we finally came together. But it still hurt.

It hurt to unwrap my arms around her in the morning. It hurt when she wasn't happy. It hurt when she needed her space. It hurt when I needed mine. It hurt to see her subconscious self-destruction. It hurt to see anything but her smile. It hurt not eating dinner together every night. It hurt hearing her laugh with someone else. It hurt to not see her all the time. It hurt when she cut everyone out. It hurt to fuck her. It hurt to make love to her. It hurt to smell her on the pillow and not really her. It hurt to kiss her, hug her, hold her, lose myself in her.

Then the battle.

It hurt to watch her rush out there. It hurt to not fight beside her. It hurt letting her be the hero. It hurt watching her go down. It hurt cradling her in my arms. It hurt to see her blank eyes. It hurt to feel like I let her down. It hurt to watch her need me so much and I could do nothing. It hurt to feel her die. It hurt to tell her 'I love you' when she couldn't say it back. It hurt even more because I knew she did.

She returned.

It hurt to know I hurt her. It hurt because I pushed it away again. It hurt to try to fill an emptiness with someone who wasn't worth it. It hurt to touch her without really touching her. It hurt to speak with her without truly reaching her. It hurt to look into her eyes without letting her know how much I loved her.

It hurts to love her because I can never get enough.

But if I have her, then it doesn't matter, because we can complete each other.

I let her go too many times to count, and I won't let her go again.

She's hurt enough, without my help.

And now, I have to hurt her some more, if only so that I can save her. Isn't it funny that whenever it comes to Faith and me, it comes down to pain? Like she'd said to me once,

"Can't tell what to do with you, B. We're miserable and have mental issues when we're not together, but when we are together, one of us ends up seriously hurt."

She's right, too.

But tonight, both of us are going to hurt.

I dodge the first kick the Faith Clone - that's what I've been calling her in my head - and move in for a underhand into her gut. She blocks it. And with that, the chaos begins again. Everybody jumps in the fray, all of us fighting to get to the warlocks, who are already beginning their chants. Her cross hook is the first that catches but I use that as a distraction as my knee meets her in the rib. She hisses as she stumbles over a chair and I dash on over to add in a few jabs. And then I pick her up and throw her.

See, my plan is this. I know not to leave any marks. That only reappears onto Faith. But Faith can't feel everything. Otherwise the essence thing wouldn't work. Don't ask me how it works, but I do pay attention to parts of Giles' lessons. Only the open wounds can hurt her, so I'm going to make this little clone of hers realize who she's messing with.

She's got Faith's essence, but that means what? You can't just recreate another Slayer form, when Potentials have already been decided. So Faith Clone's only got half of the Slayer gene. And so does Faith, but we're not really in here to beat on her.

She's still a good fighter; Faith always was.

Ow. That's blood, isn't it?

I press my hand against my lip where her fist hit me as she came hurtling towards me. She's holding a wooden stick; I should've remembered that this side of Faith doesn't care about fighting dirty. She always fights to win. And it just might happen, if she keeps it up. Even when she's hurting, it's not as bad as the cuts and bruises that are beginning to slow me down. There are punches and kicks and swipes flying between us, but she can't get more than a couple hits with that stick. She finally predicts a block that I make and shoves the splintered end of the rod into my arm and jerks it back out from the flesh. I cry out, it hurts like a bitch, but I can't stop now. I snap out kick, but she blocks it deftly and uses the leverage to slip me down. I sweep her balance from under her feet, but she ends up on top of me.

Straddling me.

Oh this **can't **be good.

She leans down, a feral look in her eyes that sends shivers down my back. This is definitely the side of her that would be horny at a time like this. And as her lips reach the air beside my ears, I can't help but wonder what the others are doing.

"Say, B, you think if I fucked you hard on the ground, it'd be considered cheating?" She makes that husky chuckle that makes me twitch.

My mind knows it's not really Faith.

As for my body...

My body knows that it's Faith's body. And it wants to react.

Whoever said mind over matter obviously hasn't had Faith straddling them with the sweating and heaving of bosoms and the looking at you like you're a piece of candy.

Well, here goes nothing.

I give her the sexiest grin I could possibly give, then I pull her down for a searing kiss. She moans, I moan, her hands are moving strongly against me, my hands are running up and down her sides...when I suddenly sit her up and strike her against her temple.

And there goes Faith.

I jump up quickly, ignoring the throb in my left arm, ignoring the fact that it's a dead weight; I can't move it at all right now. She's knocked out, but not for long. Which gives me little time to stop the warlocks.

The Master's already in the cast circle, and Willow's somewhere in the fray, which means I have no idea what to do.

Shit.

Shit shit shit!

I make the decision and take a few leaps towards the warlocks, picking up a metal pole on the way. I have to stop them before-oomph!

There's a sudden mystical dome that covers their ritual, and they hadn't even bothered to look up at my attempt to break through.

There's a barrier.

I can't get through without Will.


	28. Chapter 28

**Thanks to all who reviewed. Come on, some of you are slacking here! I used to get more than that!! Haha. Okay, so this one's a bit of a show of how amazing Willow is. In this fic, anyways. **

**Enjoy and review. A LOT!**

* * *

**11:53 PM**

Narrative

Buffy glanced behind her, searching desperately for her best friend.

They had little time left, and her heart was pounding with a clenching fear. She rushed in headfirst, fighting through the beasts as she called out the name.

"Willow!"

As if by magic, the redhead was sighted before her, in a little clearing amongst them, and Kennedy and Buffy met face to face as they dusted the last vampire between them. Buffy shot her a weary smile, and Kennedy just grinned. Buffy moved forward to meet Willow. She motioned quickly towards the barrier that kept her from destroying the warlocks. They had few moments to speak, while Kennedy quickly found it upon herself to defend their frantic discussion. But they had to hurry, although she was strong, there were too many vampires to count, and too many for her to take on at once.

"I can't break through with that around them. Can you-"

"Break it down? Sure, but that's no ordinary barrier, Buffy. It could take too long-"

"I don't care!" The angry shout caused Kennedy to flash a threatening glance behind her towards Buffy.

Buffy, who had the good grace to look as sorry as Willow did. She brushed a hand through her hair and jump kicked a vampire that was sneaking up on them.

"I'm sorry, we just don't-"

"Have the time, I know, Buffy. I'm working on it right now." Willow immediately began to murmur under her breath, eyes beginning to darken.

They were using dark magic to stop Buffy's interference. Well, Willow had a few tricks up her sleeves as well. She was powerful, more powerful than most could ever imagine behind the gentleness that embodied Willow. The wide eyes, the innocent gaze, to someone who didn't know jack; she was just a very nice lady.

One who nearly destroyed the world and flayed a man-

You really didn't want to know the details.

"Attero!" She said clearly. Firmly. Dark eyes aiming her powers directly at the dome of magic.

It struck, pounding into it in a strong burst. The barrier flickered and shimmered before maintaining its protective purpose.

But it was all preparation; just a spell to weaken it so that it would hopefully break under the strain.

"Accido!"

The strike was harsher this time, much more powerful. It hit, and she saw the way it broke the meditation of the warlocks, breaking the consistency. Which was all very well; it bought them some more time. But the barrier held, as weak as it was.

"Hell." The Wiccan allowed herself a curse word. She was sure that Faith would've appreciated the gesture immensely.

It should only take one last spell, she thought, planning to do something to break apart their focus as soon as she put down the barrier. And then she'd really have to do something about the vampires. She knew of a spell that could do the trick, she just prayed to her Goddess that it would all work out. It wasn't something she'd tried before; it was something rather dangerous and risky, but she knew that right now was the time to take that risk.

Find the fun, right?

"Subruo!"

The impact shook and shattered the mystical energy apart, the barrier no longer intact.

Home run.

She internally rejoiced as their concentration was fully wrecked, and even the angered scream of the Master did nothing to ruin her smile. Buffy took no time to rush towards her destination, Anya throwing her an axe from the pile of weapons that had been confiscated from them and carelessly thrown only a little off to the sides. It was their mistake, and Anya had taken notice of this as soon as they were captured, and when the all-out melee started that was the first thing she and her team rushed for. Kennedy was growing tired, Xander didn't look like he was going to make it past his next birthday, and Dawn - bless her heart - probably wouldn't last much longer. She met Xander's eyes, and met Kennedy's right after. They both watched her, as her eyes flickered towards Spike and Angel in a word of caution. Immediately they acted. Xander shouted something at Spike, and Kennedy did the same towards Angel. Both looked confused, before they saw Willow.

Then they understood.

"Fulsi lux lucis de sol solis..." Willow's hands were raised, palms facing up, hair flashing black for an instant.

There were winds that blew, enough so that one would notice, and something bright was burning their eyes...

"Exuro cinis cineris de nox noctis!" She cried out, and a flash of light erupted through the building, blowing apart every single vampire in the room, leaving all to dust.

Excluding Spike and Angel, who both had found themselves ducking out of the large area immediately, staying clear of the doorways and rushing into one of the storage rooms. They slammed the door shut, watching the light shine mercifully - or mercilessly, in their case - in a big flash. The impact literally shook the old building. After it was over, the two stood up from their crouched positions.

Spike whistled.

"It's always the peaceful looking ones, eh?"

"Something like that." Angel replied, his sharp eyes scanning the area for any more danger.

"I think we're safe." He said after a few seconds.

Spike scoffed.

"Yea. For **now**."

"Well we don't have much to time to make sure. Come on."


	29. Chapter 29

**This one isn't particularly long, but I believe the intensity will make up for it. Thank you for your fantabulous reviews, please continue to do so. **

**And many kudos to kitty for your three reviews in one chapter, it was cool of you, and voila! I've updated as you all have asked me to. **

**Ah, and I may not be able to update tomorrow, just cause we're moving along to the next stop tomorrow. I'll see what I can do, but if not, I'll update ASAP. But as for now...  
**

**Enjoy and review some more.**

* * *

**11:59PM**

He was holding something above the open portal, its center swirling with a black that contrasted the bright red surrounding, pulling, groaning for a taste of what the Master held over it. But he would not let go, because at the very same moment, there was a knife against the necks of all three warlocks, and an axe held in swinging distance from his chest. Not to mention the dozen or so arrows aimed directly at his vital parts from around the room. But both parties understood that there could be no moves made, because neither teams had the advantage, being stalled at the very edge of winning or losing, hovering above the chasm of despair and the security of freedom. His hand tightened slightly, which caused their knives to dig deeper and the eyes to burn stronger.

Kennedy resisted the urge to slice, to tear, to break open the skin of this old haggard creature who looked at them with those darkened eyes that laughed at them. She wanted so desperately to tear the laughter out of its eyes, to shove it down its throat and break its neck, just to show exactly what she felt for all of this. Absolute contempt. Perhaps a bit of terror.

Xander held another knife; curved and as sharp as a razor. He mused grimly that Anya always had a thing for keeping weaponry in tip top shape. His palms were sweating, and he wasn't quite sure how long he would be able to take the strain in his mind that begged him to get this all over with. But this was a crucial moment, and he knew that every single thing meant something.

The last knife was in the hands of none other than Dawn. Buffy didn't want to think about it, and when Spike and Angel had stepped back in, Spike began to move to take her spot. But Dawn was not a child anymore. She was older, perhaps wiser, and still as stubborn as her sister. Her eyes told him to back the fuck off, to let her handle it, because she was not a child any longer. She hadn't been a child in a long, long time.

Willow had already found this moment to rush to Faith's side, unbinding her quickly and trying desperately to reverse the spells of the warlocks.

"I think you're the one a little outnumbered now, so any chances of you getting away with this ritual is zero to none." Buffy's voice rang out strong, in the voice of the Slayer.

There was no mercy in her voice, no pity, no sympathy, only rage and the boiling under her muscles that screamed for her to swing the axe she held menacingly over his demon heart, blood still dripping down her forearm. Not that she cared or even noticed. That would come later. Right now, it was all about saving Faith. And the world.

"Getting a bit impatient, Slayer? You have not won yet. I still hold your most precious of prizes."

Although his analogy was most unflattering, there was truth to his words. He was indeed, holding the one thing most dear to her over a bit swirling pit of darkness. He held Faith, or the embodiment of her dark essence by the neck, cold eyes telling her that indeed, he would kill her if she made a move.

And the Faith clone's eyes were now blank, as if there was something mellowing her out before the final kill. Somewhat like the process of cooking immobile lobsters alive for a more delectable taste. Buffy shuddered involuntarily at the thought.

"Time is ticking, Master." She spoke with a tone that was near taunting.

"Let her go, or we'll make sure your name will never reach the history books."

He glared at them all, thoughts whizzing through his mind. He had been foiled, been ruined, by these fools? Ridiculous. But there was a plan, an idea. Perhaps he could not be resurrected tonight, perhaps never, even. But he was determined, to make them pay. How? Well that was simple enough. He had already gone this far with his plans, so there was no reason to let them go to waste. His hand began to loosen, little by little, and the limp body in his hands began to slip.

They tensed.

"Don't."

He laughed.

"Or what, Slayer?"

He lifted his pinky.

Her eyes flared with panic. What did they do? What now? They could practically hear the clock ticking away the seconds; they had to close the portal before it reached midnight. The Master may not resurrect, but other things were bound to find their way out.

_Giles, where are you?_

He lifted his ring finger.

Kennedy let loose a cry of rage as she - finally - did what she could not hold back any longer. Her hand moved in a blur as the knife in her grip nearly decapitated the warlock she held captive.

"Don't you **fucking** let her go!"

"You fools! They'll speak of me as the one who truly destroyed the hearts of the good, the Slayers, and most importantly: the Chosen One." He jeered.

Middle finger.

Both Dawn and Xander let their arms rip at the same time, teeth grit and hearts burning with pain and horror. The warlocks dropped to the ground and crumpled away.

"You can't kill me..." He was mocking them.

_10_

"...otherwise your precious Faith will be thrown into the Pit..."

_9_

"...for the rest of eternity. But you can't just stand there..."

_8_

"...otherwise the beasts of the otherworld will come pouring through..."

_7_

_"_Alas, the choices you all must make!"

_6_

He let go.

Buffy leaped, letting go of her axe.

There was a crash somewhere in the building.

She grabbed ahold of the falling body and hit the cold hard floor only a foot from the swirling portal.

There were shouts of warning.

And a barrage of arrows that she could hear behind her.

_5_

A voice began to call out loudly.

"Welt über Dunkel , angst die licht , bringe die ende über Hölle heute abend!"

Someone screamed.

She suddenly felt pain.

So much pain.

_4_

She could hear the portal sucking to a close behind her.

There was a grating roar.

Her leg throbbed before it went numb.

Was that supposed to happen?

_3_

"Buffy!"

She could feel the footsteps running.

Or was that just her heart pounding?

_2_

"Oh Goddess!"

Her eyes were blurring and the voices were fading away.

_1_

But through the darkness she could still feel Faith in her arms.


	30. Chapter 30

**Well I found internet. Finally. And since you've been patiently waiting, here's this chapter. Finally. Hopefully I can get internet tomorrow, too. We'll see. **

**Thanks to all those who reviewed. It really is nice to find a bunch of wonderful reviews waiting for me when I get online. **

**Enjoy and review.**

* * *

Buffy couldn't breathe.

Well, she could, it just felt like she couldn't.

Her eyes were closed, too. She felt like she couldn't open them, even though in reality, she knew she could.

But she didn't want to.

She was much too tired.

_...wake..._

What she really couldn't do, was feel anything. She couldn't feel whatever was under her, supporting her weight, she couldn't feel the temperature, she couldn't feel much of anything at all.

_...up..._

Maybe she was dead.

That couldn't be it, though. She knew what being dead felt like. What it really **was** like. And it certainly wasn't this blank.

_...wake...up..._

Wait a minute. What the hell was that?

There was a little shimmer that she could see behind closed eyes; something that flickered in the dark.

It kind of looked like a person.

_...wake up..._

"Faith?"

"Hey-"

Flicker.

"-B."

"What's going on?" Buffy had to ask, because she didn't care to remember.

She was floating somewhere and she didn't think she was coming down anytime soon.

"Not much over here, but that doesn't matter. You gotta go back."

Buffy shook her head.

"I don't want to go back. It's peaceful here."

_Wake up..._

"You're needed, B. They need you."

What a lie.

How could she lie to her like this? After all they'd been through?

"They don't need me. I failed them. I messed up and I got people killed." She replied bitterly, the words tasting like acid on her tongue.

"You were distracted. Sometimes the pot of gold isn't always at the end of a rainbow." Faith's hand reached out to touch her, but it passed through easily.

She gave her a soft smile, dimples included.

"World ain't gonna be safe without you, B. First rule, remember?"

"But Faith-"

"Winners don't get to die."

Buffy didn't feel like a winner, and she didn't feel like a dead person.

Faith was totally wrong on both accounts.

"I'm not a-ow! Faith, what are you doing?" She tried to pull away, but Faith's suddenly all-too-real grip was digging into her shoulders tightly.

If Buffy felt numb before, she certainly wasn't now.

It hurt.

"You ready?"

Buffy opened her mouth to ask, but she didn't get there in time.

_Wake up._

"Clear!"

Her body was jolted from the dark and there was a bright light that burned into her retinas. She slammed back into the bed underneath her; and she was sure it was a bed. There was something soft supporting her head, which would be a pillow, which usually came accompaniment to a bed, which was what she was lying on.

"Nmgh?"

Was that really her voice?

"It's okay, Buffster, we gotcha. You'll be all up and ready to go in no time!"

Even in her pain she could hear the quaver in Xander's falsely peppy voice past the whine of the monitor somewhere in the room.

She could feel Willow's hand squeezing hers lightly.

She could even hear the way Giles' shoes hit against the ground as he paced somewhere beyond where she was lying.

And the girls. She could feel them even beyond Giles, gathered in a mass.

But she couldn't find the one girl she was searching for.

Where was Faith?

"Nyuaith?!" She struggled to sit up, ignoring the pain.

Ignoring the hands that jumped to attention to push her back down.

Her eyes shot open again and she tried to focus on her surroundings. There was Willow, Giles, Xander, the rest of them standing behind the glass windows, the doctors...

She turned her head to the right.

Before the image registered her brain clicked.

That sound...

_...past the whine of the monitor somewhere in the room..._

"Clear!"

She heard the same sound that jolted her back to life again, except she wasn't the one who it was done on this time, even if she felt as though it didn't make a difference.

_Beep..._

...beep...

...beep...

The anticipating relaxed with sighs.

Then reacted with gasps as the only other body in a hospital bed sat up quickly.

"Ngyuffy?!" She cried out in desperation, her head turning about wildly.

Their eyes met.

And the whole world stopped.

Buffy wanted to cry, and Faith looked like she would do the same.

They could feel each other again.

Buffy could breathe.

And so could Faith.


	31. Chapter 31

**IMPORTANT NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR!! **

**Love to all of you that reviewed. Anyways, so here I am, on the return trip home. Still hours and hours away...And updating, just for you lovely people. Who should be reviewing like mad! As soon as you read the rest of this, that is. This is a happy happy joy joy chapter. Yay. **

**Oh and I have an assignment for you all. I want you to think of questions to ask Buffy and Faith (the ones in my story, at least), because I want to add an extra chapter at the end where I 'interview' the two and get them to answer some questions from the audience. Which is you. So start thinking of questions, but don't ask yet. **

**ASK ON THE VERY LAST CHAPTER, NOT NOW! I'll let you know. Anyways, you can think of questions to ask the other characters, too, but mostly Buffy and Faith, okie? Okay. **

**Enjoy and review!**

* * *

**A week later**

Cordelia's POV

Ask me which one is the more crazy of the two, and I honestly wouldn't be able to tell you.

One rushes out into a raging army of vampires **alone** and gets herself killed for the one she loves.

The other tackles the one **she** loves to stop her from falling into a pit of Hell and gets her leg nearly chopped off.

Thankfully she didn't die.

Dumbass.

"You're so sweet, Cordelia. Really."

Oops.

Again with the watching my thoughts before I say them out loud.

"Well I fucking concur with the fucking sentiment."

"You've been talking to Giles again, haven't you?"

"I beg your pardon, why is that such a bad thing?"

"I'm sure that's not what she meant, Giles. She's just doing the sarcastic, biting thing that's so totally Buffy. Not that she's trying to be sarcastic and biting towards you, just towards Faith because of her use of big vocabulary that she usually never uses, which doesn't mean she's not smart, just that she's very straightforward and not big with the big vocabulary, because, hello, it's Faith! And Faith is totally not of the big vocabulary type with the 'concur' and 'sentiment' and-OW!"

Anya ignores the dirty look that Willow shoots her as she puts the book back down on the table.

"What was **that** for?!"

"Well it made you be quiet."

The gall of this woman makes me snort. She really is funny. I'd say Xander did a fantastic job of finding himself a girl. The little geek always found himself the best girls.

Yes, including me.

Xander gives Willow an apologetic glance before turning to Anya.

"An, honey, you can't do that."

"Do what?"

"Hit me, you psycho!"

"But it seemed to work to my purpose perfectly well. And I'm not a psycho. Really, Willow, I thought you were the smart one? I'm an ex-vengeance **demon**, remember? There's quite a difference."

**Really** funny.

* * *

Narrative

Willow's face turned livid, Kennedy was biting back her laughter and Xander was hopelessly trying to assuage the situation. Giles just shook his head as he wiped at his already clean glasses, Spike was arguing softly with Dawn about something completely unrelated, Angel sat beside one bed while Cordelia sat beside other, watching the whole show in an amused fashion. The two beds held a Slayer each.

A Chosen one each.

Faith sat against the headboard with her arms crossed, still scowling at the wall across them, and Buffy was holding back a little smile.

"Hey, Slayer. You don't want wrinkles, now do you?"

Faith scowled deeper and stuck her tongue out as far as she could at Buffy before facing forward again. Buffy gave her a false serious look.

"Don't tease me."

Angel choked on something as he inwardly appreciated the fact that he couldn't blush.

Cordelia just raised an eyebrow towards him knowingly before shaking her head.

"I'm mad at you, and you're cracking sex jokes. Brilliant, B." Faith muttered angrily.

Buffy reached over to lay a hand on her arm.

"Faith, we've already been over this."

"And it **still** doesn't change the fact that what you did was beyond stupid!" Faith exploded, throwing her hands up exasperatedly, causing everybody else to stop with their conversations to watch the two Slayers argue.

Again.

"It wasn't stupid."

"Yea, **it** was. And I think you're half dumb, too, for doing it!"

"I'm not dumb!"

"Well, you were always a little bit slow." Faith mocked the words back to the girl who had originally spoken them to her, way back when.

Buffy rolled her eyes.

"Faith..." Her tone was warning.

"What?" Faith snapped in return, too pissed to be cautious.

"I had to."

"No, you didn't **have** to get your leg almost axed from your body by some crazy asshole!"

"Well, no, I didn't have to do **that**, but I did have to save you. And if that was the consequence, then so be it-"

"Fucking bullshit. You could've avoided getting hurt altogether!"

"That's not even possible."

"Well you should've made it possible."

"Not enough time, baby. We had a mission to complete and I swore I wasn't leaving without you."

"Next time, you should be more specific with yourself and make a reminder that **all** of you should be getting out."

"We did." Buffy reminded her gently.

"Yea, thanks to Red's quick fucking thinking."

"I sent her lots of love! Didn't I, Will?"

Willow stifled her laughter behind her hand.

"Oh definitely lots of Buffy loving there. I think I even got a fruit basket for all my troubles, with the hand-picked strawberries and freshly-washed grapes-"

"Don't make me take back my comment on your intelligence, Red."

Kennedy took a dangerous course and decided against her better judgement to jump into the fray. She intertwined her fingers with Willow's and lifted the hand up for a kiss.

"I'm going to have to defend my girlfriend's honor if you insult her brilliance."

Faith quirked an eyebrow.

"Think you could take me, Ken?"

"That just goes without saying, Faith. I could take you with a hand behind my back in your condition." Kennedy lied through her teeth.

She knew she was bluffing. If Faith wanted to, she could kick her ass all over the city, considering that she'd been recovering quickly over the past week.

"Wanna make a bet on that? I'm running low on cash."

"Well how would you make a bet if you don't have the money?" Anya asked curiously.

"I already know I'd win, An." Faith winked at her.

"Remarkable! Do you have some sort of psychic power that I didn't know about?"

"No, honey. She was just saying so."

"But how is it possible that she'd know? It hasn't even happened yet!"

"Do you have to be so bloody literal all the time?"

"Is that a literal question?"

"Bugger me." Spike muttered, shaking his head.

"That being said, do you guys think you could leave us for a minute? I want to talk to Faith. And Dawn, go to sleep." Buffy spoke diplomatically, meeting everyone's eyes politely.

Angel stood to leave, Willow smiled in compliance, Xander nodded happily at Buffy, Kennedy smirked specifically at Faith, Giles pushed his glasses up on the bridge of his nose, Cordelia laid a gentle hand on Faith's shoulder, Anya ignored her request completely, Spike just muttered something about bossy Slayers, and Dawn had immediately left the room with a huff. Something about having no say in anything and curfew. Buffy would deal with it later.

As they all trailed out, Anya placed her hands on her hips and glared directly at Buffy.

"Don't go making more trouble, Buffy. We all know how you say things without thinking, so I'm warning you for the all of us-"

"Come on, An." Xander blushed furiously as he dragged his wife out of the room by the elbow, in the midst of the giggles and chuckles.

Buffy raised her eyebrows at the exited ex-vengeance demon, with a humored tilt to the corners of her lips before turning to Faith. Who was still scowling, now at the door.

"Faith?"

"Hmph."

"We need to talk."

"Nothing to talk about." Faith grumbled, pushing her bottom lip out in an altogether adorable pout.

"Come on, baby, let's talk. We haven't had much time to spend with each other."

"What are you talking about? We've been stuck in this stupid room for a fricking week! Nothing to slay, nothing to do, this is worse than prison!" Faith griped angrily, and Buffy couldn't help but chuckle softly.

Faith was bound to feel irritated by the bedrest they had been in for the week. Once they had returned to the house, the whole world pampered them nonstop, not allowing them to lift a finger. Buffy enjoyed it immensely, considering she'd been wanting a vacation for a while, but Faith was bored of it after two days. She complained that she'd already been in prison, that she'd been dead for three years, and that she needed some time to move about and go crazy. That idea didn't run well past Giles or Willow, both of whom insisted she stay in bed longer, that they were in need of a good long rest.

"Are you out of your fucking minds?! Let me out of here!" Faith had shouted, struggling to get out of the bed, then falling as soon as she stepped out.

"See? Why can't you be calm like Buffy and be good in bed?" Willow regretted it as soon as she'd said it, seeing the wild smirk on Faith's face as they helped her back on the bed.

"Oh I'm good in bed, Red, ain't **nothing** to do with being **calm**."

"For God's sake, it's just for a couple more days, Faith." Giles shook his head.

"Yea, slick. Be a manly man like me!" Xander grinned.

"Xander, honey, when you had sex with her, didn't you notice the lack of a penis and testicles? It's pretty clear that Faith is as far from a man as you could get" Anya patted Xander on the back when he nearly choked on his tongue.

But that was beside the point.

The point was that they'd been bedridden for a week and Faith was about to explode. Or implode. Neither of which Buffy particularly wanted.

Besides, they had more to talk about.


	32. Chapter 32

**IMPORTANT! YOU MUST READ THIS AUTHOR'S NOTE!**

**Well, this is the end. I absolutely enjoyed our time together with this story, it was a helluva lot of fun. But now it ends. Of course, not without that interview I was speaking of. **

**So, along with your review, I want you to ask whatever question you'd like to ask to either Buffy or Faith. However many questions you want, it really doesn't matter. You can ask other character questions, too, but mostly Buffy and Faith. **

**The questions will be answered in a NEW STORY, so you all better Author Alert, otherwise you might miss it! I'll wait two days. Then it's coming out, so you better hurry! Oh and if it's popular enough, I might keep it an ongoing project. **

**In other news, I'm going to post a couple new stories sometime today, so don't forget to check those out and REVIEW. **

**You guys have been really fantastic. Thank you all so much for the encouragement and for sticking with this story. **

**Enjoy and review.**

* * *

Buffy had kicked them all out in order to talk to Faith, but suddenly nothing was coming to mind.

_So sue me._

She wanted to talk to her. About what, even she didn't know.

Although the week of having everyone at their beck and call had been much more than just 'nice', Buffy hadn't had much time to spend alone with Faith. One would think she would, considering that they'd been stuck in beds right beside each other the whole time, but it wasn't the case. They'd been in the hospital for three days beforehand, doped up on morphine and other painkillers. Faith had major internal bleeding issues and Buffy's leg was very well near not being hers any longer.

Faith was right. If it hadn't been for Willow, many things would've gone horribly wrong the night they'd returned.

While Giles and the others hurriedly chained up the clone, Willow was desperately trying to heal Buffy's leg as fast as she could. It was deep, it was brutal, and it was unbelievably difficult to maintain. But somehow the lovely Wiccan managed to keep it intact for the time being. Then she was thrust into working on putting Faith back together. Just find the spell that'll rebind the essences, and voila, all solved! Right?

It was harder than it sounded, and once whatever mind-numbing spell that the Master had placed on the Clone Faith wore off, it was even more difficult. The darker side of Faith always did have insanity issues. And if it wasn't insanity, it was most certainly something like it.

There really was no rest for the wicked.

* * *

_"Think you could take me, Red? Think if it weren't for these fucking chains, you wouldn't be dead meat on a platter?" _

_There was one Faith lying on the cot, breathing irregular and ragged. The other Faith was chained to the wall by hands and feet, swearing up a storm and struggling against the steel until the skin broke and drops of blood fell and met the floor._

_"I wish you'd shut up." Willow said matter-of-factly, trying to find her focus._

_Giles had dog-eared the spell years ago when he was a younger man, out of curiosity. It was all they could do to thank the Powers for that tiny tidbit of his life when he was nearly as reckless as Faith used to be. He brought out the book promptly and set it out before her. She took one glance and nodded. She would have to do it. Kennedy immediately stood beside her and held onto her hand._

_"I'm the kite string."_

_And so it was all settled in less than half an hour, and Willow sat across Kennedy in front of Faith, reaching for the powers deep inside of her._

_"You can't save her from me, Red. Even if you shove me back in there, I'll always be a part of her. And when I'm on top again I'll be ready to slit all your throats like I should've before." She threw her head back and cackled, letting the chains clang and clink._

_"And therefore you'll never understand. Even when you're in her...she'll always win. That's why we win, every time. Because the good in us never fails, and the evil just fades away." Willow smiled confidently as she spoke the words, uttering the Sumerian spell right after, watching calmly as the Clone shuddered and swept through the chains and settled into Faith's body and form with a deep sigh._

_Quickly and swiftly Kennedy shot up and ran to get Giles and the others, who then rushed to take her to the hospital, where Buffy already had been sent._

* * *

Both Slayers had given them all a scare, but they pulled through, just like they knew they would. Though now they had other things to get past, before anything could be consider fixed.

And now?

Well now there was silence. Somewhat awkward silence, which broke the comfortable zone they had been in.

"I was so scared." Buffy started, fingers fidgeting nervously with the blankets.

"I thought...God, I thought I was going to lose you again, and I couldn't bear the thought of...I wouldn't have been able to do it again." She was blurting it out, already knowing the fear of not being able to be straightforward, and realizing that she had to be honest.

"And before? You acted like none of it mattered! Like what we had before didn't matter!" Faith returned angrily.

"I was just getting used to being without you, then there you were again...my selfishness and denial got the better of me."

"Then there was that deal with James..." Faith remarked pointedly.

James had been sent directly to jail, with all the evidence of his attempted murder literally lying in the closet of his bedroom. Although before all the investigation was completed, James had acquired a nice set of cuts and bruises, which he refused to talk about.

They all, however, mildly noticed Kennedy's unusually good mood.

Cordelia was found humming in the hallways as she filed her nails.

And Xander found the opened Book of Torture lying on Anya's vanity dresser.

Curious, indeed.

"That was a lapse of stupidity!" Buffy whined slightly.

Faith just raised an eyebrow.

"Okay, a really huge, ginormous lapse of idiocy. Better?"

"I guess I'll give ya that one."

"I hate that I hurt you...but you know what I said in the room was real, right? I meant every word." Buffy gazed deeply.

Faith couldn't look away.

"I know." She whispered.

"I love you." Buffy said firmly, still gazing, now gauging the reaction.

"I know." Faith whispered again, her eyes sparkling just enough to show Buffy that she felt the same way.

Buffy reached over with her arm to wrap it around Faith's midsection tightly.

"Hey! I'm still mad at you, B. No amount of cuddling is gonna fix it." Faith stated, even though her crossed arms uncrossed to allow the intruding Buffy-limb to embrace her.

"Oh no?" Buffy smiled up at Faith mischievously as she pulled Faith onto her own bed.

Rolling them so that she was on top, she looked down into Faith's beautiful brown eyes. She leaned down for a quick kiss, then smiled lovingly as her hand traced Faith's eyebrows, her cheeks, her nose, down to her lips, to her chin, and trailing down even further. Her sneaky little hand trailed a path from Faith's graceful neck to her shoulders, and lazily caressed her breasts before reaching the hem of her shirt, playing with it before reaching under to meet the heated flesh.

Faith bit her lip, holding back any sounds that might give her away.

"That's not...fair...B-Buffy!" She mumbled from behind slightly closed lips, squirming to a) get away and b) receive more contact.

"The hell it's not."

There was a gasp.

Oh, that troublesome hand.

"Thought...we were...gonna talk...B!" The name nearly came out as a squeal.

"We are. You're talking, I'm talking, there's **lots** of talking. And now I'm going to **tell** you just how I feel about you, and afterwards you can **respond **however you want to; whether it's talking or...**talking**." Buffy grinned uncharacteristically and Faith couldn't find it in her to refuse.

After a couple hours of injured-yet-nearly-healed Slayer sex, they were lying together, as close as they could, murmuring sweet nothings and stroking faces.

"You still my girl, B?"

"Always, Faith."

And nothing was going to change that.

END.


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